OT - Ever Feel Like "The Invisible Man" At A Restaurant?

 I think I'm finally beginning to notice a trend ...  and maybe I'm wrong on this, but it seems like maybe because I go to restaurants alone that they often either take their time finding me a table or, more often, once I get a table, the server doesn't come around to me or takes 15-30 minutes before doing so, even when the place is not busy.   

  I had this happen once before at  Denny's as a pre-op.  I finally got up and left, but filed a complaint with Denny's HQ the next day.  The customer p.r. rep quickly contacted me back, said she reviewed their surveillance cam footage from the time during my visit (yes, they apparently use it to keep tabs on service, too) and she was appalled at what happened to me that day. 

  Since my surgery, I have been back to that local Denny's several times, but on at least two occasions it happened again, including last night (it also happened to my brother once when he ate there alone).  I quickly gave the manager a piece of my mind tonight when I left.    Although she was standing at the register looking right at me the last 5 minutes or so, she tried to put the blame on the server for being inattentive (I know when i was in the business in my college days the manager on duty was responsible for all the actions of their "crew") I got her business card and Denny's HQ will be getting a second call from me later today. 

   A few weeks ago the same thing happened to me at a local IHOP.  The manager there also tried to put the blame on a "miscommunication" between servers while one was relieving the other.     She never even offered to comp me for the experience.  A few months ago, the same scenario at a new Mexican full-service restaurant/cantina that opened near my condo.  That time I called the restaurant on my cellphone from my seat, demanded to talk to the manager on duty, and asked him "when in the h*ll is a server going to come to my table?".  Some of the barmaids had been looking right at me from the bar area (I even waved my arms at them) and not one apparently brought my plight to the attention of the servers.     (a server quickly showed up less than a minute after my phone call, profusely apologizing).  At least they comped my dinner 50% for the poor service there.

   I notice this inattentiveness never seems to happen to couples, families, or other groups that eat out.  Are we singles really that hard to see (dang, I still weigh 250 lbs.!)?, is it they think they won't make a big sale or tip off a single diner, or what???    

   Has this ever happened to you guys or someone you knew when they dined alone?    

I've had this happen both before and after surgery, and usually with my wife in tow. I don't think it's a singles issue, but a weight discrimination issue instead. At a Red Lobster one time, wife and I were seated, the table next to us was seated. That table had their order taken AND WAS SERVED, and we still didn't have the waiter even acknowledge we were there. I finally flagged down the manager and asked him if someone hoisted a plague flag over us. No comped meal, and I left a dime tip for the waiter. I refuse to go to Red Lobster ever since. There used to be a chain called Sizzler we would frequent. It's the of place where you go through a line to order, then sit, and someone brings your food. Wife and I sat 20 minutes waiting, and no food. I was really fired up. I found the manager and asked him in a very loud voice so a lot of people could hear, "Who the hell do I have to blow so we can get our meals?" When the waitress finally brought them to us (cold, too), she said "I thought you were here for the salad bar..." So, we're fat and you didn't bother to read the ticket on the table, did ya Toots? As post-ops, it doesn't happen as often, but I also don't take as much **** as I did before, so I'll force the issue a lot sooner, and with less venom because I don't let it get my dander up as far.

This happened to me twice. The first incedent was when I went to Texas Roadhouse last year with my girlfriend.  We got seated and everything, the server got our drinks, and we ordered.  Everything was going normally and whatnot.  My appetizer was brought out, and that was the first thing they messed up on.  They put Bacon on my Potato skins and I didn't want bacon.  The server gave me this nasty answer "CAN YOU JUST SCRAPE THEM OFF!"  I said uh, No!  I was like, you know what, don't even worry about it.  So I just gave them to my girlfriend and she ate them.  So the appetizer was done, and we were waiting there for our meal.  15 Minutes pass, 20 minutes pass, 30 minutes pass, 45 minutes pass, 1 hour passes, 1 hr 15 minutes pass.  I was like..WHAT THE HELL!  I got up and talked to the manager and I told her that we never got our food!  And she apologized so much and promised that she would fix the situation.  When I got back to the table, guess what, out food was there.  After 1hr and 15 minutes our damn food was there!  I was like.  No, you know what I don't even want to eat anymore.  We went at 8:00 at night and it was about 10:30 when we left.  They ended up just giving the food to us for free, and I didn't leave the server a penny.  She was walking around in circles looking at us like it's not her fault and she still serves a tip for bringing us our drinks and appetizer.  I said, the hell with that and we left very mad. The second time it happened was at Red Lobster on my birthday last year.  I went with my mom and my sister, and it was a terrible start from the get go.  The only thing they did was seat us properly.  For 15 minutes we disn't have a server!  So I got up at went to the manager telling her that we don't have a server yet.  She expressed her apologies and said she would get on it.  About 5 minutes later this 85 year old women comes out, and she was just all frantic and frail and had no clue what the hell she was doing!  The first thing was asked for were some drinks and some of their delicious bread (obviously) she said, alright!  I'll be right back.  She never came back, at all, whatsoever.  So I then got up again and told the manager, and she was like you have to excuse her she is new, and I said well someone needs to train her better.  She doesn't even know what the hell she is doing!  And the manager just looked at me all weird, so I just got up and left.  And went to O'charlies next door.  When I got home I e-mailed the corporate office for Red Lobster and they gave me two $25 gift vertificates.  As well as a coupon for a free appetizer.  And that really made my day.  Especially after the experience I had there!

You can't stop people from offering you poor service, but you can stop them from offering it to you twice. IHOP is off of my list these days. I haven't stayed in a LaQuinta motel in 15 years. AllState Ins. co **** 'em. Seems like there are several other chains here and there that I don't do business with, but it's too early in the morning to think about. Yeah they'll still be in business w/o my help but I don't have to participate in their slopfest.  

I really have'nt been to a resteraunt since surgery, but this happened to me plenty of times as a pre-op.
I'm convinced that the servers use this theory:

Fat guy alone in a restaraunt = LOOSER

I have to agree with the others. IHOP sucks.

Other than that, ya I've noticed discrimination from service people diminishing with my size. It seems like everyone in the world is much more eager to serve me now.

The biggest change I've noticed is clothes shopping. I couldn't get help at Men's Warehouse at 310# to save my life. One guy actually said he didn't think they made suits in my size. I felt like people thought I had scabies when I walked into The Gap.

BUT...now that I'm a size M shirt, 30 waist people flock to me. It's quite irritating, IMHO. Some of the same salespeople who shunned me two years ago now carry my **** to the changing room, and fetch different colors / sizes for me. I always love telling them how much more pleasant they've become now that I've lost weight. I do it in such a caddy way, I almost embarrass myself.

I find in general that service is not what it used to be years ago.  So many people just don't care about taking good care of customers.  More places should treat customers the way that Disney treats it guests. No request is too much, they always get your order correct, you have rapid yet not rushed service and each cast member has the the expectation and authority to fix any customer concerns.  When my youngest Son was 3 years old he was on a very restrictive diet, no wheat or dairy products, our family went to a buffet for a late lunch early dinner and we got out the sandwich, while the rest of our family was eating the food from the buffet.  Our server asked why he was not eating the food buffet and we explained the diet he was on.  About 5 minutes later she returned to our table with a tray of brownies and cookies and a dish of ice cream that was all gluten and casein free.  She had contacted a Disney Dietitian and found out what foods they had on hand and brought them out to us.  They also did not charge us at all for what they had brought to us.  So that night Sam had ice cream  and brownies for dinner and had enough brownies and cookies to snack on for several days.  Now that is service.

Jim 

You didn't happen to blow one of your famous farts right before the "non-service" events, did you  

 No, but I wish I had  stayed just long enough to leave them a nice "calling card" behind, Bajadude  ..   &:-P    (reminds me of something I always wanted to say as a pre-op to someone being obnoxious standing next to me in line, "You're making me actually GLAD I forgot to take a shower this a.m., lady!"   &:-D)  )