Paul...what the

 Cross-posted from the DS Forum:  * * * * * * Before you guys jump me, why didn't you try ASKING me in PM about that PM?

  FYI,  I sent that PM in response to a hateful and harrassive PM she sent ME, out of the blue ..   I had saved it in case I needed to show it to defend myself , but it got auto-deleted by my computer when I didn't access it for several days.  

   The original PM I received was sent by "Patty", but with a pair of little hearts before and after her username (not sure how she was able to do that, btw) ..  In it she called me a "pendejo" ("*******" in Spanish) and a few other choice inflammatory things   --   something about my must being a "wrinkled old man" and some other things specifically mentioned  that shows she has been reading some of my older posts.  It seemed like she was upset, or at least acted like it in her post, over my earlier controversial post on the main forum in which I was asking for people's thoughts on interracial relationships today and if and how they have changed in their area, if at all  .. 

    When I tried to respond to Patty's post, I found she had discontinued the username/account  (I wouldn't' be surprised if she just created it to send the PM) ..  Foolishly though, she used her first name and included a photograph of her (and her husband?) in her avatar.  Bound and determined to find out who this person was that sent it to me, I did a recent member search and found the current Patty's username with the same pic on it as on the <3 Patty <3's username, so I knew it had to be her.   I therefore sent that PM to her (note that I used some Spanish in it, b/c she apparently speaks it).  

     I admit my response was a kneejerk reaction, but the PM from her was so hateful and childish that's how I reacted to it.   It's human nature, unfortunately.  (something called "the Pendulum Effect" in interpersonal communications, btw).

    And, yes, I have been admonished by the admin as to the sending of the PM, and as I told the admin I should have just reported  Patty's original PM to me to them, and not fired off a responsive one back to her that was equally vicious (or at least intended to be).    But again, I was so hot and bothered at the time I read it that it just happened.

   Now, if the current Patty is NOT <3 Patty <3.  let her assert that matter and, if she's not, I do apologize to her.  However, I don't see how or why someone would send me a PM like that and go through the trouble of making it look like it came from the present Patty, or how they were able to put her avatar pic on their avatar, for that matter.  The present Patty did send me a responsive PM asking me why I had sent that PM to her, but I took that as her just acting "innocent' and did not respond to it.  Again, if someone was impersonating her, than I apologize deeply for what happened.  The admins should look into how that happened and see if there is any way of preventing members from being able to do that in the future, or at least delete the offending member's other accounts on OH, if any.

    As to supposedly preferential treatment, I do have friends that PM me (or the admins) when they see abuse of me on forums like the R & R, which I don't even visit, other than a couple of times in the past in self-defense (I'll be posting this post to that thread there, as well, btw).  I appreciate ya'll bringing this thread on R & R to my attention.  R & R is, IMHO, counterproductive and antithetical to the whole mission of OH which is to support, guide, and comfort each other in our adventures with MO.  OH should, in my opinion, aboli**** as it has caused a lot of sore feelings and breakups of friendships of OH members in the past, and even that of some staff members, as we have all seen before    

 Cross-posted from the DS Forum:  * * * * * * Before you guys jump me, why didn't you try ASKING me in PM about that PM?

  FYI,  I sent that PM in response to a hateful and harrassive PM she sent ME, out of the blue ..   I had saved it in case I needed to show it to defend myself , but it got auto-deleted by my computer when I didn't access it for several days.  

   The original PM I received was sent by "Patty", but with a pair of little hearts before and after her username (not sure how she was able to do that, btw) ..  In it she called me a "pendejo" ("*******" in Spanish) and a few other choice inflammatory things   --   something about my must being a "wrinkled old man" and some other things specifically mentioned  that shows she has been reading some of my older posts.  It seemed like she was upset, or at least acted like it in her post, over my earlier controversial post on the main forum in which I was asking for people's thoughts on interracial relationships today and if and how they have changed in their area, if at all  .. 

    When I tried to respond to Patty's post, I found she had discontinued the username/account  (I wouldn't' be surprised if she just created it to send the PM) ..  Foolishly though, she used her first name and included a photograph of her (and her husband?) in her avatar.  Bound and determined to find out who this person was that sent it to me, I did a recent member search and found the current Patty's username with the same pic on it as on the <3 Patty <3's username, so I knew it had to be her.   I therefore sent that PM to her (note that I used some Spanish in it, b/c she apparently speaks it).  

     I admit my response was a kneejerk reaction, but the PM from her was so hateful and childish that's how I reacted to it.   It's human nature, unfortunately.  (something called "the Pendulum Effect" in interpersonal communications, btw).

    And, yes, I have been admonished by the admin as to the sending of the PM, and as I told the admin I should have just reported  Patty's original PM to me to them, and not fired off a responsive one back to her that was equally vicious (or at least intended to be).    But again, I was so hot and bothered at the time I read it that it just happened.

   Now, if the current Patty is NOT <3 Patty <3.  let her assert that matter and, if she's not, I do apologize to her.  However, I don't see how or why someone would send me a PM like that and go through the trouble of making it look like it came from the present Patty, or how they were able to put her avatar pic on their avatar, for that matter.  The present Patty did send me a responsive PM asking me why I had sent that PM to her, but I took that as her just acting "innocent' and did not respond to it.  Again, if someone was impersonating her, than I apologize deeply for what happened.  The admins should look into how that happened and see if there is any way of preventing members from being able to do that in the future, or at least delete the offending member's other accounts on OH, if any.

    As to supposedly preferential treatment, I do have friends that PM me (or the admins) when they see abuse of me on forums like the R & R, which I don't even visit, other than a couple of times in the past in self-defense (I'll be posting this post to that thread there, as well, btw).  I appreciate ya'll bringing this thread on R & R to my attention.  R & R is, IMHO, counterproductive and antithetical to the whole mission of OH which is to support, guide, and comfort each other in our adventures with MO.  OH should, in my opinion, aboli**** as it has caused a lot of sore feelings and breakups of friendships of OH members in the past, and even that of some staff members, as we have all seen before