Come on now Dx......give me a break.

Ya. Whomever locked that post is lame. If you can't take the heat, get out of the men's forum. Hell, I stirred a rat's nest two weeks ago when I call y'all a bunch of woman-hating, venom-spewing, dickheads...or something like that. Did it get locked so your abuse of my manhood was mitigated? HELL NO!

Nor should it have. If you post to a forum, you take both sides. PERIOD. I've been an active member of this place for the past two years, and lurked for a good year before that. THIS ****'s got to stop.

And....they've never copped up to the fact that they pimped their ad as a thread. Come on, OH...ball-up!

WTF? I usually don’t usually reply but I feel compelled this time. As the Dumb-Ass person I am I thought that the OH magazine would have some good insight into the whole WLS thing, but this ad heavy rag has very little to add to my overall view of WLS, in fact the two issues I got it took all of 5 minutes to read the articles (one thread from Dx has more to say than that whole issue).  So to have that A-hole dis on Dx and others about being mean, they should lurk more often to see how really mean we knuckle draggers can be to the tuna trollers.  As for stories, I don’t think I go a day without reading about a FART or a success story on this forum. So if he wants to be the editor-in-chief and head profanity czar he should stop by more often to see real successes. Peace out.

Post Date: 7/8/08 8:14 pm
Last Edit: 7/8/08 9:03 pm

Dx E,

I attempted to correspond with Jeremy after his insecurities and inability to contain his urge to engage in passive-aggressive reactive behavior became something he appears incapable of controlling.  When a dead end was found in that attempt, I communicated with Kathy Sitter in member services, whi*****identally has been here more frequently than Jeremy, and has shown more respect for this board than he ever has.  That communication is at the end of this post.  Can only assume Jeremy's preference for communicating what has traditionally been communicated privately by OH in public is an acceptable pattern, though I cannot be sure since he clearly appears to be a "do as I say, not as I do" sort of guy.

Before that, a few things to consider:

As to Jeremy's assertion that Nikki's post was "globally posted", there are 114 forums if you count the states, the provinces, the surgery types, and the special interest forums such as men's singles, spouses, over 50, etc.  Her congratulatory post in question was globally posted to an overwhelming 11 of the 114, hardly an insurmountable number to take a couple of minutes per forum and tailor the post to each for better receptivity in order to better elicit more magazine content, which after all, makes OH money.  Perhaps if she had taken the time to post something like:

"Hey guys, we really would like to feature some guys in OH magazine.  Some of you that might not otherwise step forward because they think there are too many others better suited, are actually good candidates to be featured due to there being so many fewer men who have WLS than women.  We could use a hand here, how about some help?"

I can assure you that if I had seen a post like that, I would have PM'd her with names of guys I thought might be suitable candidates to discuss this with and encourage, and would probably have copied them on my PM to her instead of posting what I considered, by men's board standards, an extremely civil "why is this post here?" reply.

And incidentally Jeremy, the post op pregnancy forum WAS one of the eleven, so since you are the only one you think deserves the right to continue communication on this matter, you might want to revise your original comments regarding that forum, after all it is better to be the king when the peons worry about helping the king correct his erroneous statements such as your one regarding the pregnancy forum.

The fact that is most important here IS NOT the controversy regarding Nikki's post.  What is most important is a shift in what is deemed appropriate staff behavior by OH.  In all the years I have watched all the threads where any indication of acrimony evolves, staff has always done one of three things... deleted the entire thread, deleted the response deemed unacceptable, or moved the entire thread to the rants and raves board.  This is the first time a staffer has "dressed down" board posters, or for that matter, an entire board, publicly, then in effect "duct taped" the mouths of those the staffer disagrees with by freezing the thread, probably because he realizes there was merit to the replies he took exception with, and when all else fails, "it's my ball, so 'F' you" is the fall back position of those who know they are on quicksand.

In my communication with Jeremy, I requested that he either remove all replies, including his, making Nikki's original post the only thing showing and THEN make it sticky, or if he was not willing to do that, to delete my reply since I did not wish to be party to someone stifling communication even when there is disagreement by leaving my post on the thread.  He sent a one sentence reply that the thread had been froze.  I sent a second request that my post be deleted, and as of now, he has not replied to or even acknowledged receipt of that request.

Because of that, I sent an e-mail to Kathy Sitter in member services, which we see on this board more than we do Jeremy, who we only see when he arrives with the intent of imposing his preferences on a board he otherwise does not even participate in.

That communication is also below.  It is obvious this is the Jeremy Gentles show now instead of the Men's forum message board, and unless you have ordered and received your very own silly ass sombrero, can you really feel welcome here? I assume they sell those in the OH online store, but have not checked.

The bottom line is one of two things are clearly accurate about OH, and both are disconcerting.  Either his passive aggressive behavior and abusive disrespect of the members of this forum is known and tolerated by OH management, and therefore sanctioned, or else the organization is becoming so dysfunctional that someone can wander as far off the reservation as he is, and they either cannot monitor or control that.  Neither bodes well for this being a place to invest the time I do on this website to support others.

Am not sure if I am going to end up at the message boards of www.quixoticwls.com, www.bariatricradio.com, www.renewedreflections.com, www.bariatriceating.com, or if it is time to start a Google or Yahoo group to replace this forum, but the members of this board should have received an apology from Mr. Gentles long before now.  As for his passive-aggressive "his way or the highway", the highway is free of the putrid fetid pungent aroma of what my dog leaves in the grass on walks, and his respect for the members who enable OH to charge the advertising rates they do both consist of.

Don't kid yourself; the traffic on our board does more to increase their advertising revenue than any equal amount of traffic on any other board, because we fill the most glaring void in their demographics.

I am out of here.  No doubt others will stay without the men's forum receiving an apology from the seemingly suffering from acute insecurity Mr. Gentles, but since I have lost my weight, my self esteem has increased to the point that I do not tolerate abusive behavior from anyone, much less those who utilize my presence to make money.

Paul in Dallas

Correspondence with Kathy Sitter:(Read from the bottom up, headings of each section in red)

From: P H ----- @ yahoo.com
Subject: Re: OH board assistance please
To: "Kathy Sitter"
Date: Tuesday, July 8, 2008, 10:51 PM

"If you need anything else, please let me know."

Thank you for the offer Kathy.  At this point, what I need is for my profile to be completely deleted.  I do not mean deactivated, but actually deleted.  Please confirm via return e-mail when this is done.Paul in Dallas

From: Kathy Sitter
Subject: Re: OH board assistance please
To: ----- @ yahoo.com
Date: Tuesday, July 8, 2008, 4:27 PM

Hi Paul,

I am not able to do anything for you on this issue as it's been taken care
of by Jeremy.  Sorry...

If you need anything else, please let me know.

Take care,
Kathy

Kathy,

 

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/men/a,messageboard/action, replies/board_id,5479/cat_id,5079/topic_id,3661563/ is the link, though I have attached it as a PDF printout for your convenience, along with a PDF copy of my correspondence with Jeremy since then.

In my years of being on OH, and seeing a number of these thread acrimony issues come and go, I have NEVER seen an OH staffer resort to "dressing down" those they disagree with publicly in the thread in question, then lock the thread, in effect "duct taping" the mouths of those the
staffer has treated in such a manner.

If this is a new OH policy for handling such matters, then it is misguided and will probably have an adverse affect on your membership and web traffic levels.  If it is in variance from policy, then someone needs to get back "on the reservation" and the men's forum apologized to for being treated as children rather than adults.

Regarding the OH magazine thread in question... It is in no way a "global" post as Jeremy asserted.  It appears on only 11 of the 114 forums (state boards, surgery types, Canadian Provinces, and WLS related interest forums).  With so few forums targeted, taking a minute or two in order to personalize the targeting of the post for specific forum receptivity is not only reasonable, but far more likely to produce the results that are the post's objective.

I would urge you to take into account that the disagreement with the appropriateness of this post is not coming from a bunch of "grenade throwers".  I invite you to read my profile to assess if I am a contributing member or not, or e-mail or call anyone you know from the TX board and ask them if I am a member that contributes.  Ask Yvonne McCarthy.  Ask Deb Flores.  Ask anyone.  I also urge you to read Dx E's reply on the thread.  The intensity of Jeremy's reply is a measure of how on-target we were in the concerns voiced.

Kathy, we see you on the men's board more than we see Jeremy.  He shows up when he wants something.  If an OH staffer needs to take a heavy hand with a board, his being male does nothing to increase the acceptance of being treated so condescendingly on the men's board.

Clearly it is both his and OH's prerogative to interact with members any way they see fit, but frankly his posting's tone, coupled with not allowing response, is patently passive aggressive, and not befitting of a media company that does as good a job of delivering content as OH tends to do.

It exhibits a mindset that does not take into account there are other Internet based media companies delivering WLS content to site visitors looking for WLS data and support that did not exist when OH was created.  OH is not the only place to go for support anymore.

Treating members like children *****spectfully disagree, as I believe I did in this instance, is not the stuff that increased site traffic, and hence, advertising rates, are built on.

As I suggested to Jeremy, if the thread is to be locked so no one can reply to Jeremy's rants, then delete all but Nikki's initial post and THEN lock it

IF THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE, then I must insist that my reply on the thread be deleted.  A member's right to delete their post is not compromised by a post being locked.  Mine is a reply, not the original post, so the question of it being something with responses does not apply.

If you care to discuss this, feel free to call me directly at either 800-xxx-xxxx (my office) or 972-xxx-xxxx (my cell)
  
Paul Hxxxx
Paul in Dallas

--- On Tue, 7/8/08, Kathy Sitter wrote:

From: Kathy Sitter
Subject: Re: OH board assistance please
To: ----- @ yahoo.com
Date: Tuesday, July 8, 2008, 9:13 AM

Do you have a link Paul?

Thank you,
Kathy

Kathy S
Member Services
866-957-4636  Ext: 393

Hell, I feel honored. Only two people specifically named was DX and myself. LOL  Wonder if I will get detention like back in high school.

I stand by what I said if they want to post this crap on the mens forum they need to make it male specific.

Deleting what members said and locking the thread was simply childish. 

By the way Jeremy I did NOT send my info because I don't care to be in the magazine however if I had been asked to nominate someone I would have done so.

 

 

Hey Old Fisherman, See what happens when you start hanging out with the bad kids in the back of the bus! Opinions (other than we ones we tell you to have) Will NOT be Tolerated! Best Wishes- Dx

I am with Dx on this one as, I am sure, are the majority of Men's Forum participants - which would be obvious from the snowstorm of replies to the original posting except for the mysteriously locked thread.. This Jeremy needs to do a little growing up - that's my 2 cents.

Yeah what he said  Nick

Don't know about Nikkis post, came late to the party BUT Jeremy.  its bull**** you make sure you get the last word then lock the thread. do the right thing next time  and delete all responses or even better the entire thread. 

Methinks that in his avatar pic, our Gentle boy Jeremy has his head stuck a little too far up into that pink hole in whatever's on his head.  Might be a little too tight, cutting off the circulation to his brain. And, he seems just a little too happy about it. ...But that's just me being an a$$. YMMV.

I have been thinking about the situation with Jeremy and it seems to pat. I know there are a lot of tunas on here that are not happy because we don't want them bringing all their estrogen laden issues in here and I am sure they whine to the management about the 'abuse of them on the mens forum'.

This is supposed to be a mens forum, or at least it says so at the top of the page. Anyway I think I smell a rat. I think the whole situation was/is a deliberate attempt to 'show us who is in charge' and to bring us in line. 11 our of 114? Hardly a global post.

Anyway it looks like they got rid of Paul and I notice we haven't heard from baja.