what do you say?
I do feel the pain, especially since I was just like that 400 lb guy 4 months ago! Now I am zeroing in on 300 lb, and before I know it I will be normal again! 
When I see someone who is very obese, I tend to talk about my surgery, without commenting on the individual him/herself. If there is interest, then I suggest that the individual research the options available for the mobidily obese. Otherwise I let things be.
When I see someone who is very obese, I tend to talk about my surgery, without commenting on the individual him/herself. If there is interest, then I suggest that the individual research the options available for the mobidily obese. Otherwise I let things be.
For me WLS was just a distant pipe dream that I never gave much thought to.
I could never afford it out of pocket or even my co-pay portion. I knew it existed, but I had to struggle through the diet/exercise hell that so many obese patients experience.
Finally my insurance changed and they covered it 100%. If it hadn't been for that, I would have just continued to wallow. I think having someone talk to me about it would have just made it worse. In all likelyhood, it would have just sent me to the refrigerator or the buffet to drown my misery in food.
Scott
I could never afford it out of pocket or even my co-pay portion. I knew it existed, but I had to struggle through the diet/exercise hell that so many obese patients experience.
Finally my insurance changed and they covered it 100%. If it hadn't been for that, I would have just continued to wallow. I think having someone talk to me about it would have just made it worse. In all likelyhood, it would have just sent me to the refrigerator or the buffet to drown my misery in food.
Scott
The first time you do something - It's going to be a personal record!
My mom used to say, "If they don't ask, it's meddling. It's only advice if they ask first". That makes a lot of sense to me. It's too easy to put people on the defensive. Once they're on the defensive, it becomes a hard nut to crack. Think of all those former smokers who become butt nazis.
"Always be ready to give an answer for the hope that is within you."
Dan
"Always be ready to give an answer for the hope that is within you."
Dan
when I first had RNY in Nov 2000 I wanted to tell everyone about it. It wasn't as popular then as it is now. It didn't get as much coverage in the news. Now, I think most morbidly obese people are aware of it. However, some of them either don't have health insurance or the WLS is an exclusion on their policy. I'd never tell someone how to spend their own money. I just don't know their financial situation or how their family would react to spending money on one operation.
Personally, I've always been concerned about spending my family's funds on my health. I didn't mind my wife spending thousands of dollars on root canals, but I'd be dammed if I'd do that to myself--I had my teeth pulled out. When I review what I would spend on my health costs, I'm always looking at solutions that will not cost us as much money.
When it comes to taking care of myself, I tend to care for myself if I fear that failure to do so would cost us more than taking care of the problem would. That is, I don't want to put my wife in a financial bind because of my health.
Personally, I've always been concerned about spending my family's funds on my health. I didn't mind my wife spending thousands of dollars on root canals, but I'd be dammed if I'd do that to myself--I had my teeth pulled out. When I review what I would spend on my health costs, I'm always looking at solutions that will not cost us as much money.
When it comes to taking care of myself, I tend to care for myself if I fear that failure to do so would cost us more than taking care of the problem would. That is, I don't want to put my wife in a financial bind because of my health.
No offense but if somebody I didn;t know came up to me and said anything like that. I tell him to f*** off and rip him/her a new one. As much as we want to help it really isn't our business to poke. Can you tell you have touched a nerve? We as a society think we can tell people pretty much anything.
Even a relative doesn't have that right. Just so you know where I'm coming from, my parents did this to me in the name of so called love and it caused years of hard feeling they took to the grave with em.
The kid may or may not realize it but he needs to and not be told. It is just going to make it worse. Sorry if I offended it was not my intention.
Thanks for a great topic. I agree with many of the above posts. We all know what it's like to have your weight fronted in our face, and it's never pretty. I've tried to be mostly transparent with my choice to have WLS. If the topic comes up, I almost always tell them about my surgery and how it's changed my life.
I've had this same situation happen to me. There was a guy in a class I was taking that was morbidly obese. He had to sit on the floor for the first class meeting because the only chairs were those god-aweful attached-desk numbers we all used to dread. He couldn't even side-straddle them. I actually (quite deviously) staged a conversation. I prompted my buddy to ask how things were going since the surgery one day before class. We were sitting next to this guy. He asked me about it after the meeting. Who knows what happened to him after the class was over, but at least he's had a positive face-to-face with a WLS patient.
I've had this same situation happen to me. There was a guy in a class I was taking that was morbidly obese. He had to sit on the floor for the first class meeting because the only chairs were those god-aweful attached-desk numbers we all used to dread. He couldn't even side-straddle them. I actually (quite deviously) staged a conversation. I prompted my buddy to ask how things were going since the surgery one day before class. We were sitting next to this guy. He asked me about it after the meeting. Who knows what happened to him after the class was over, but at least he's had a positive face-to-face with a WLS patient.
Like others have said great topic, I think it is a feeling we have all experienced
When ever I see someone who is morbidly obese, I have to fight the urge to tell them how wonderful WLS can be. Like others have said I have been very open about my surgery. When I have talked to people I know about the weight I have lost, I always tell them that if they know someone who is considering surgery, I would be happy to tell them how it has effected me.
Jim
ps I love the setting up of a conversation about your surgery within earshot of someone as a way to open the door.
David,
I ran into the same situation. I was in a store and crossed paths with a guy who was really big. I know what you mean about approaching him and bringing up the subject, you don't know wheather he'll be offended or if he will appreciate the info. But you don't know if you don't try.
The funny thing was the store I was in was "Casual Big & Tall". I brought up the subject because he was working the register and I was checking out, buying some new pants because the old ones were too big. I figured if I brought up the subject round about I would see if he showed any interest in more info before I went deeper. I brought up the subject by asking him if the store had some more of a certain size pants availiable because it seemed like all the manufacturers seemed to be making the pants so big (the new styles seemed to be on the very loose side). I explained to him that I had lost about 100 lbs so far and wanted pants that fit, not very loose fitting pants. He then asked how I lost the weight which then opened the door for me to tell him that I had had the lapband done. The funny thing was that then he told me he had been thinking of having the same thing done and would like to learn more about it. We then had a great conversation about the procedure and I told him about OH and how he should check out the site. He thanked me greatly and I felt really good about the whole thing, like it was meant to be.
Granted it could have gone the other way but I just had a feeling I was supposed to talk to hiom about WLS. Maybe you didn't talk to him because you had a feeling you shouldn't, who knows. I just know I was glad I spoke with him, it made me feel good too.
Dan
I ran into the same situation. I was in a store and crossed paths with a guy who was really big. I know what you mean about approaching him and bringing up the subject, you don't know wheather he'll be offended or if he will appreciate the info. But you don't know if you don't try.
The funny thing was the store I was in was "Casual Big & Tall". I brought up the subject because he was working the register and I was checking out, buying some new pants because the old ones were too big. I figured if I brought up the subject round about I would see if he showed any interest in more info before I went deeper. I brought up the subject by asking him if the store had some more of a certain size pants availiable because it seemed like all the manufacturers seemed to be making the pants so big (the new styles seemed to be on the very loose side). I explained to him that I had lost about 100 lbs so far and wanted pants that fit, not very loose fitting pants. He then asked how I lost the weight which then opened the door for me to tell him that I had had the lapband done. The funny thing was that then he told me he had been thinking of having the same thing done and would like to learn more about it. We then had a great conversation about the procedure and I told him about OH and how he should check out the site. He thanked me greatly and I felt really good about the whole thing, like it was meant to be.
Granted it could have gone the other way but I just had a feeling I was supposed to talk to hiom about WLS. Maybe you didn't talk to him because you had a feeling you shouldn't, who knows. I just know I was glad I spoke with him, it made me feel good too.
Dan
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