Feeling more centered

Today I went to LVH to meet with Jerry the Clinical Social Worker (therapist).  I needed to talk out some of the confusion in my head, get some clarity on “facts,” and devise a better plan that I can live with.  I asked my wife to come in with me because she is the one who has had to put up with listening to me as I obsess about my bad behavior, decisions, and on and on. 

It was a good meeting.  We focused a bit more on my control issues than felt comfortable to me, but it seemed right, that is where my issues are.  A number of things were clarified and something of a strategy was devised.  I’m going to try to maintain my weight at 260 – 262.  I’m going to exercise a great deal, as that makes me feel better.  I’m going to add some protein shakes or snacks to what I’ve been doing.  I’m going to stop eating off of the plan I’ve set for myself.   My wife offered to call the HR person at the school where she teaches (our insurance is through them) and have them call the insurance to find out if they will reimburse for VSG, which I now think is the best course for me. 

Oddly enough this evening I’ve been thinking that if it turns out that I lose more weight or for some other reason the insurance rejects me, that will be ok.  I think that I can lose more weight on my own and master this diabetes monster.  I’d rather do it with help from surgery, but if that is not what is out there for me, it’ll be ok. 

The other thing that is lurking in the back of my head from this meeting and from my thoughts of the past few days, is that I believe I ought to turn this whole matter over to “God” or the spirit or whatever, and I’ve been unable/ unwilling to do that.  More of my need for control.  How can I find the control I seem to think that I need and the faith to let things be healthy, comfortable, and consistent with “the universe?”

One thing to remember. You might be able to lose the weight on your own. The surgery will probably help you keep it off better. That is a good part of the tool besides the weight loss. You do sound like you have a good plan though.

Henry glad you took your wife with you, its something that takes the both of you to work at and its always better to have two people here what someone has to say so later when you get home one might remember what the other can't. My wife has attended each visit with me, now I don't take direction well from her but she's there and I do get the "look" when I'm eating to fast. I would like to encourage you to post your exercise no matter how little we are each at our own pace. I couldn't Begin to keep up with (Japan) Dave, Boner, Chad or several of the other athletes but I'm proud of what I can do but more importantly it will help keep you motivated and accountable. I would like to encourage anyone out there to do the same, this is one reason I started IGOMB again. Good luck you can do this. C'ya Bob

My personal opinion is that to get control of Diabetes is the biggest thing. Whatever vehicle you use to get there, is the right one for you. If you can lose 30 lbs or more and gain control of your Diabetes, isn't that really the control you are looking for? If that's the case - you've done it!! And, if it is a better choice for you (and your doctors agree) to get WLS- you still win! WLS is a tool to get control back in your life. At least that is the way I look at it. For me, i've tried the losing weight with some success over the years, but it has finally gotten to where I can't seem to control it. For me, the WLS is the tool to kill the damn Diabetes once and for all (and I hope that it does!). I'll know next week...

I don't know what diet you are following, but I suggest that you see your Primary doctor and have him set up some sort of guidlines for you.  Perhaps he can schedule you to see a nutritionist.  It may make sense to bring your wife with you when you see the nutritionist.

Although I like the protein shakes, I'm a bit concerned as to whether you have to add them to your diet.  You may benefit from having high protein snacks between your major meals or you may want to switch to one of those 6 small meals a day plans.  I know the docs and nutritionists have special diets --usually food lists-- for diabetics and following one of them may help.  I know that Bob L who has replied to you has seen vast improvement in the treatment of his diabetes since he's lost most of his weight.  You may want to contact him directly for some pointers in dealing with food issues and that disease.