OT Quickies I'm trying to lighten my mood
Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the "Fasten Seat Belt" sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one. Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it. "Well," she explained. "Up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend. In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees. What would you do?"
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
______________________________
The little boy who had been playing in the backyard all morning came through the kitchen door and said to his mother, "Who am I?"
His mother thoutht she was supposed to play some kind of guessing game and said, "Oh, I think you must be Tarzan."
"I guess Mrs. Wilson was right," he said. "She said I was so dirty that even my own mother wouldn't recognize me."
______________________________
A woman, her husband, and their three very rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a traffic light. The woman glanced over at the car next them, noticing a blissfully happy mother with her baby daughter. Looking at her husband she said, "As soon as I lose my weight from the last baby, I want to try for a daughter." The husband reached up to the dash, grabbed an open box of snacks, and said, "Here, have another cookie."
______________________________
A little boy went to school one day and while he was gone, his cat was run over by a truck. His mother is very concerned about how he will take the news. Upon his arrival home, she explains the tragedy and tries to console the boy saying, "But don't worry, the cat is in Heaven with God now." To which the boy replied, "What is God going to do with a dead cat?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oklahoma 911 Call:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2BKcGP41E4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newborn Baby I was the nurse caring for a couple's newborn first child, a son, after his cesarean birth. Since the mother was asleep under general anesthesia, we took our tiny charge directly to the newborn nursery to introduce him to his daddy.
While cuddling his son for the first time, he noticed the baby's ears conspicuously standing out from his head. He expressed his concern that some kids might call his son names like "Dumbo."
The pediatrician reassured the new dad that his son was healthy and the ears could be easily corrected during childhood. The father still worried about his wife's reaction to those large protruding ears. "She doesn't take things as easily as I do," he worried.
By this time, the new mother was ready to meet her precious son. I placed the tiny bundle in his mother's arms and eased the blanket back so that she could gaze upon her child for the first time.
She took one look at her baby's face and looked to her husband and gasped, "Oh, Honey! Look! He has your ears!"
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
______________________________
The little boy who had been playing in the backyard all morning came through the kitchen door and said to his mother, "Who am I?"
His mother thoutht she was supposed to play some kind of guessing game and said, "Oh, I think you must be Tarzan."
"I guess Mrs. Wilson was right," he said. "She said I was so dirty that even my own mother wouldn't recognize me."
______________________________
A woman, her husband, and their three very rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a traffic light. The woman glanced over at the car next them, noticing a blissfully happy mother with her baby daughter. Looking at her husband she said, "As soon as I lose my weight from the last baby, I want to try for a daughter." The husband reached up to the dash, grabbed an open box of snacks, and said, "Here, have another cookie."
______________________________
A little boy went to school one day and while he was gone, his cat was run over by a truck. His mother is very concerned about how he will take the news. Upon his arrival home, she explains the tragedy and tries to console the boy saying, "But don't worry, the cat is in Heaven with God now." To which the boy replied, "What is God going to do with a dead cat?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oklahoma 911 Call:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2BKcGP41E4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newborn Baby I was the nurse caring for a couple's newborn first child, a son, after his cesarean birth. Since the mother was asleep under general anesthesia, we took our tiny charge directly to the newborn nursery to introduce him to his daddy.
While cuddling his son for the first time, he noticed the baby's ears conspicuously standing out from his head. He expressed his concern that some kids might call his son names like "Dumbo."
The pediatrician reassured the new dad that his son was healthy and the ears could be easily corrected during childhood. The father still worried about his wife's reaction to those large protruding ears. "She doesn't take things as easily as I do," he worried.
By this time, the new mother was ready to meet her precious son. I placed the tiny bundle in his mother's arms and eased the blanket back so that she could gaze upon her child for the first time.
She took one look at her baby's face and looked to her husband and gasped, "Oh, Honey! Look! He has your ears!"
Most Active
Recent Topics
