OT: The Nutty Professor

"And I was petrified. I would walk at parties and people say: "Yo, man, Mr. T was just here looking for you." He was walking up to people saying: "I'm gonna whip Eddie Murphy's ass when I see him." Then I watched his show, because I didn't know him, to see what kind of guy he was, and the character on the show ain't too bright. So I figured if he came up to me, I could use the Jedi mind trick on him. Mr. T walk up and go, "I heard you did some jokes about me." "No, you didn't." "Maybe I didn't." "I'm gonna go beat up the fool that told me them lies." I'd be at parties, hear he was looking for me, I would just leave. I don't wanna fight Mr. T. Then I found out Michael Jackson was looking for me. I was like... When Mike... My manager called me up and said: "Yo, man, Michael Jackson is mad." I was like, "So?" You know, because I'd **** Mike up. You know, Mike... Mike don't weigh but a buck-oh-five, you know. I bust that ass on Mike. I was looking for him, but my manager said: "We don't know everything about Michael. "He might be this bad mother****** behind closed doors. "He's a recluse. Behind closed doors, he might be completely different." And I'd be at a party and have Michael walk up to me one day and it'd be like this: "Can I talk to you for a minute? "Yeah, what's your mother******g problem, man? "Well, how come you keep ******g with me then, huh? "What's all the mother******g jokes? You don't like my clothes? "I'm Michael-mother******g-Jackson, I will bust your ass. "Get the **** out, mother****** "I will moonwalk all up and down your ass, mother****** "You mind your mother******g business. "I hear some more **** I'm gonna put this glove up your ass."