Marriage Failure's Post WLS

OK boys, looking for a little honest feedback here on a touchy subject:  failed marriages due to WLS.  Particularly examples where marriage probably only occured due to a lack of self esteem post-op and the basic human need for companionship regardless of attraction, both physically  and emotionally.

I'm looking for some serious responses, not judgement.  There are too many self righteous critics in the world already.  Please only respond if you've experienced this and how you handled it.  Private responses are welcome as well.

Thanks and have a groovy day all.

Before surgery my Doctor told me that 50% of married WLS patients get divorced within 5 years of WLS surgery.  My Mother had WLS surgery in 1981 and got divorced in 1986 after 26 years of marriage.  Was definitely a self esteem issue.

Call my marriage a double whammy.  I got my RNY in April 08.  Soon to be ex-wife got hers in August.  Speaking to lawyer next Thursday.

I think though if you look at stats you'll find that the rate isn't all that different than outside world. it just seems that way

A lot of WLS marriages fail due to a gain of self esteem.  No judging because my marriage failed due to eating disease issues and not WLS.

My ex and I lost and gained together. She had had enough and wanted out. No sense in fighting that even though I wanted to.

Ok John'

I can not beleive that I'm putting this out there...but hell, y'all are family and I guess my family should know...

Kelly and I have gone out seperate ways...(still i the same house, and friends..in this housing market...we can not do anything stupid...)

but the bottom line....Kelly likes Chubby guys...what do yo do with that...

he is still the best man I have ever met...and he says the same thing about me...

but he wants a chub....so there is another variable in your equation...

best of luck


Russ

Interesting, I almost feel like my wife feels the same way, maybe she is more secure with that because she has her own weight issues, or maybe it's a security thing.  Her father was a very big guy and she was pretty tight with him.  I remember when I first met her and was probably about 450, she said she would love for me to be at 350.

Definately something to think about.  Thanks Russ, and everybody else for commenting.

Hey Russ,

I think my wife wants a "chub"  as well since she always tells me I'm too skinny. What's a guy to do?

Thanks for sharing man and best of luck with your situation.

Boner

I don't know what it is but these statistics are spot on. Thankfully my wife and I are still going strong but I can say that we have been dealing with a lot of different issues post-op. I think a lot of has to do with her insecurities. I feel like I'm still the same person on the inside but who knows, maybe the self-esteem boost you get after dropping the weight, changes you more than you think.

I'm confident that my marriage will survive and continue to thrive and be a blessing to both of us irregardless of the changes I'm going through, but I do have this to offer. I was planning on the frequency between the sheets improving somewhat now that I don't have to wrestle around 200 lbs of fat in order to find a position that make the final act possible. But it's not happening. The slimmer I get, the more she feels like she's fat when she's around me and it negatively affects her willingness to get nekkid. We gotta find a way around this problem, cause I'm looking to make up for lost time if you know what I mean.  I'm too young to adopt a celibate lifestyle, to committed to my vows to cheat, and we've already discussed the morning shower in an earlier thread.

I honestly dont know and Im sorry you have to go through this.. I havent had surgery yet. But, my last relationship ended because I made up my mind that I was going to have surgery. (another issue all together).. Best of luck.........................