FIRST AND LAST POST HERE
On March 10, 2009 at 6:06 PM Pacific Time, Stephan B. wrote:
I think I am the guilty one who upset the man. I was just trying to be funny. Guess it failed. I'm sorry that it hurt your feelings and hope you stick around. Probably, I didn't word things as good as I could have. I do think you are little over sensitive. Maybe if you lighten up in your spirit.....
I saw your post on the Main Forum and invited you to come over here. I'm sorry that some men did not treat you with the respect that you deserve. I've been in OH since July 2000 and I've seen all of the changes that have occured on the site. One of the main reasons for having the Men's Forum is to provide a place where men can talk about WLS, food, exercise, emotions, and about Male sexual issues. Many of us who had posted problems on the Main Forum were slammed by some women over there as if a problem that a man might have post op is insignificant. However, there may be relatively few culprits among the women but there are easily over 100,000 women on the site. The Men's forum is our sanctuary.
This whole thing about calling it the men's locker room came about as we tried to discourage women from posting here. Most women understand this and respect our wishes. The problem is that all of the forums on OH are open forums and can be read by anyone who belongs to OH. Anyone who belongs to OH can also post on them. To discourage women from posting on our haven, some of the men came up with the idea of calling our WOW moments F.A.R.T.s for Fabulously, Amazing, Really Terrific in the hopes that the language would discourage the women. And, if a woman does post here, she risks getting slammed. We have had instances in the past where some women were trolling on our forum trying to make some sort of connection to the men here.
The only requirement for being a part of the Men's Forum or Lockerroom is that you are a man. Some of the guys think of a lockerroom as a male bastion of testeron. The last physical lockerrooms that I used were in a health club and in my local YMCA. Men were expected to be gentlemen in both places.
So, whether you call your accomplishments FARTS, WOW moments, or woohoo, you are welcome here. I think someone who makes biting remarks to a man posting here for the first time is being insensitive. It's my opinion that a support group attracts members through positvie mutual support. I know that sometimes I express a minority opinion. As a matter of fact, I expect some men will object to what I am saying here. They can look over my past posts and seen that I am fairly consistent in my remarks. I did blow it with my Contact with Michael S from the Main Forum last week, but I've apologized to him for what was clearly my fault.
Please lurk around here for a while. You can be an inspiration for many newbies and pre-ops. You've had phenomenol success and Your success can inspire others. If you are wary of posting here and read about someone else who is having problems like you may have faced, you may want to Contact them directly through OH.
Thank you for posting here and I, for one, hope to eventually read your posts here sometime in the future. Bob
This whole thing about calling it the men's locker room came about as we tried to discourage women from posting here. Most women understand this and respect our wishes. The problem is that all of the forums on OH are open forums and can be read by anyone who belongs to OH. Anyone who belongs to OH can also post on them. To discourage women from posting on our haven, some of the men came up with the idea of calling our WOW moments F.A.R.T.s for Fabulously, Amazing, Really Terrific in the hopes that the language would discourage the women. And, if a woman does post here, she risks getting slammed. We have had instances in the past where some women were trolling on our forum trying to make some sort of connection to the men here.
The only requirement for being a part of the Men's Forum or Lockerroom is that you are a man. Some of the guys think of a lockerroom as a male bastion of testeron. The last physical lockerrooms that I used were in a health club and in my local YMCA. Men were expected to be gentlemen in both places.
So, whether you call your accomplishments FARTS, WOW moments, or woohoo, you are welcome here. I think someone who makes biting remarks to a man posting here for the first time is being insensitive. It's my opinion that a support group attracts members through positvie mutual support. I know that sometimes I express a minority opinion. As a matter of fact, I expect some men will object to what I am saying here. They can look over my past posts and seen that I am fairly consistent in my remarks. I did blow it with my Contact with Michael S from the Main Forum last week, but I've apologized to him for what was clearly my fault.
Please lurk around here for a while. You can be an inspiration for many newbies and pre-ops. You've had phenomenol success and Your success can inspire others. If you are wary of posting here and read about someone else who is having problems like you may have faced, you may want to Contact them directly through OH.
Thank you for posting here and I, for one, hope to eventually read your posts here sometime in the future. Bob
Sorry you feel that way.
Congrats on your success.
A little bit about this place, post and say whatever you want here, but realize that:
1. No thin skin allowed. Remember there is no crying in baseball.
2. You probably won't get too much if any of the it's o.k. you ate a chocolate pie this weekend, your a good person and dad gum it people like you. You are more likely to get a kick in the ass and then a pat on the back.
3. The guys here are very supportive, but you won't find any sunshine rainbows or sprinkly stars showering down upon you for your posts.
4. Don't stop posting, just because you feel slighted by someone. We do want to hear about your success, and your trials. We all have them and they help to share. Having an opinion from someone who is likely to experience the same thing from the same angles (men vs. women) is very helpful.
Thanks for stopping by.
Scott
Congrats on your success.
A little bit about this place, post and say whatever you want here, but realize that:
1. No thin skin allowed. Remember there is no crying in baseball.
2. You probably won't get too much if any of the it's o.k. you ate a chocolate pie this weekend, your a good person and dad gum it people like you. You are more likely to get a kick in the ass and then a pat on the back.
3. The guys here are very supportive, but you won't find any sunshine rainbows or sprinkly stars showering down upon you for your posts.
4. Don't stop posting, just because you feel slighted by someone. We do want to hear about your success, and your trials. We all have them and they help to share. Having an opinion from someone who is likely to experience the same thing from the same angles (men vs. women) is very helpful.
Thanks for stopping by.
Scott
The first time you do something - It's going to be a personal record!
On March 11, 2009 at 9:48 AM Pacific Time, Seht wrote:
Sorry you feel that way.Congrats on your success.
A little bit about this place, post and say whatever you want here, but realize that:
1. No thin skin allowed. Remember there is no crying in baseball.
2. You probably won't get too much if any of the it's o.k. you ate a chocolate pie this weekend, your a good person and dad gum it people like you. You are more likely to get a kick in the ass and then a pat on the back.
3. The guys here are very supportive, but you won't find any sunshine rainbows or sprinkly stars showering down upon you for your posts.
4. Don't stop posting, just because you feel slighted by someone. We do want to hear about your success, and your trials. We all have them and they help to share. Having an opinion from someone who is likely to experience the same thing from the same angles (men vs. women) is very helpful.
Thanks for stopping by.
Scott
Too much Apologizing going on around here, when in Rome.....
I'll direct my response to sam and Scott but I really address all of the men here: I do welcome men here no matter how thick or thin their skin may be. I'd hate to see someone who may have been an emotional eater in the past go back to soothing their feelings by eatin because someone seemed to be picking on them in a support forum. Remember that support for WLS Men is our primary purpose. Yeah, being macho can be fun but don't do it to repel men who are trying to be part of our group.
Now, you may wonder why I look at things this way. I don't mind saying that I do suffer from a mental/emotional illness. I'm manic-depressive or bi-polar as it is now called and it is controlled by medication. I retired on a Federal occupational disability in July, 1992 because I couldn't handle a caseload as an office worker for a small Fed agency similar to SSA. It's frustrating because I know that I am intelligent but I simply can't do a lot of things I used to be able to do. If my wife gives me a honey do list with as few as 3 items on it, she has to tell me which order to do them in or none of them will get done. I simply can't decide what to do first. I am on meds--otherwise I fear I might be institutionalized. And, I take them faithfully since I am afraid of what my behavior would be like if I didn't take them.
I'm very introspective. I used to be an introvert until the mania hit. Now I can talk to anybody or any size group of people. I've had therapy of various sorts for about 20 years but only need to see a psychiatrist now for medication. I would not mind going to see a therapist if my shrink or primary thought I needed it.
I've mentioned using the Beck's Diet Solution to rid myself of my food addiction. I've been in remission since 01-29-09. However, an added bonus is that it has redirected my thinking in general. I'm now happy instead of merely being ok--I can now appreciate Randall's morning coffee comments. I've always looked for what's below the surface.
When the Men's Forum was going strong, we didn't care how macho men were. We tended not to judge our fellow men. I've said repeatedly that the only requirement was that they be men. We welcomed gays and straights. If they are looking for support about WLS, I really don't care. But, we've driven off a lot of men. I know a lot of men left because of occassional intrusions by women. I decided to stay because it is still the best place on the internet to meet newbies and to encourage them on this WLS journey. I would hope that all of you could be open to that support also.
By the way, if someone eats a piece of chocolate pie, I'm not going to complement them. I'd say that their admission of that fact on any OH forum is either catharthic or a cry for help. I was stuck with a carb and junk food addiction for over 40 years and I feel their pain. Some of you may have been morbidly obese without being food addicts. If so, then you don't understand their problems. Don't mock someone for having a problem that you don't have. Luckily, most newbies learn the proper way to eat during pre-op and during the early stages post-op. If they slip or make an eating mistake, I'd just like to encourage them to realize that that's all it is and to get back on the program. Addiction counselors feel the same way. And, most 12 step programs now accept that making mistakes in recovery is part of the recovery process. Bob
Now, you may wonder why I look at things this way. I don't mind saying that I do suffer from a mental/emotional illness. I'm manic-depressive or bi-polar as it is now called and it is controlled by medication. I retired on a Federal occupational disability in July, 1992 because I couldn't handle a caseload as an office worker for a small Fed agency similar to SSA. It's frustrating because I know that I am intelligent but I simply can't do a lot of things I used to be able to do. If my wife gives me a honey do list with as few as 3 items on it, she has to tell me which order to do them in or none of them will get done. I simply can't decide what to do first. I am on meds--otherwise I fear I might be institutionalized. And, I take them faithfully since I am afraid of what my behavior would be like if I didn't take them.
I'm very introspective. I used to be an introvert until the mania hit. Now I can talk to anybody or any size group of people. I've had therapy of various sorts for about 20 years but only need to see a psychiatrist now for medication. I would not mind going to see a therapist if my shrink or primary thought I needed it.
I've mentioned using the Beck's Diet Solution to rid myself of my food addiction. I've been in remission since 01-29-09. However, an added bonus is that it has redirected my thinking in general. I'm now happy instead of merely being ok--I can now appreciate Randall's morning coffee comments. I've always looked for what's below the surface.
When the Men's Forum was going strong, we didn't care how macho men were. We tended not to judge our fellow men. I've said repeatedly that the only requirement was that they be men. We welcomed gays and straights. If they are looking for support about WLS, I really don't care. But, we've driven off a lot of men. I know a lot of men left because of occassional intrusions by women. I decided to stay because it is still the best place on the internet to meet newbies and to encourage them on this WLS journey. I would hope that all of you could be open to that support also.
By the way, if someone eats a piece of chocolate pie, I'm not going to complement them. I'd say that their admission of that fact on any OH forum is either catharthic or a cry for help. I was stuck with a carb and junk food addiction for over 40 years and I feel their pain. Some of you may have been morbidly obese without being food addicts. If so, then you don't understand their problems. Don't mock someone for having a problem that you don't have. Luckily, most newbies learn the proper way to eat during pre-op and during the early stages post-op. If they slip or make an eating mistake, I'd just like to encourage them to realize that that's all it is and to get back on the program. Addiction counselors feel the same way. And, most 12 step programs now accept that making mistakes in recovery is part of the recovery process. Bob
GOOD GRIEF Who is picking on anybody? Jeez....... there is way too much hyper-sensitivity no one here is going to stand for anyone to blatantly attack anyone but this was clearly a case of someone who cries at the word BOO, The replier said he was sorry, but anyone with half a brain can see from what he said he meant no harm... His second line was congratulatory.
You know I liked this place because you could be yourself, have a little fun and give and take a little good hearted ribbing and share experiences and advice, but if we have to tiptoe around like we are walking on eggshells I might as well go over the the estrogen board and listen to how someone feels sooooooo bored today, and maybe share a recipe or two.
Now, Have I offended you?
You know I liked this place because you could be yourself, have a little fun and give and take a little good hearted ribbing and share experiences and advice, but if we have to tiptoe around like we are walking on eggshells I might as well go over the the estrogen board and listen to how someone feels sooooooo bored today, and maybe share a recipe or two.
Now, Have I offended you?
Most Active
Recent Topics
