You don't need that surgery!

If I could have known how well both my wife and I would do, I would have had our surgery on the same day.  We were just afraid we would be feeling much worse and need much more help than we did.  You just can't predict who will have issues and who won't.

Jim

Just smile sweetly and thank them fopr their concern in an extremely condescending voice.

I told people that I was having WLS prior to surgery.  Luckily, I only got one "you can do it without surgery" comment from a friend at work.  I just said that I probably could but decided on the surgery.  Everyone else was pretty supportive.

On the other hand, I wanted people to know (there is one lady who didn't know and thought I had cancer - she was afraid to ask why I was losing so much weight so fast).  But, other than my wife, kids, and doctor, I am really not concerned with what others think - I did this for me.  I have diabetes, hypertension, cirrhosis, sleep apnea and the list goes on.  All were related to, or made worse by, my weight.  One lady asked if I would do it again - oh, heck yeah - I don't take meds for any of that stuff anymore and don't need my CPAP.  So what if I have had to puke a few times and get a little tired - it's a great trade off for me.

Scott

Thanks for your advice guys.  I really appreciate you taking the time to share your experiences and thoughts with me.  I'm with you guys.  I've felt all along that what I'm doing is for me.  The same goes for my wife.  It's our body and our choice.  I've got no problem drawing the line with people but my wife uses much more diplomacy and tact than I normally would use.  It's such a shame that people are so insecure about themselves that they want to see you flounder too.  Pity on those poor souls. Again. thanks for you candor, advice, and inspiration.
Duane 

I have heard that over and over and over too. My Body Mass right at 40 but its the high cholesterol;borderline B P and Cpap everynight and still snoring like a freight train...not good! not good! and the hurting of joints from the excess weight. People are not understanding why im doing this...im doing this to get healthy and to do for myself. I am an active person anyway, and my wife is supporting me in this. I just ignore those who question WHY? Lord knows i am not doing this to get sexy....just healthy!  Stay on track! 

i had 3 people tell me about 3 diets I've never heard of yesterday.

I know someone who has spent 7000.00 on a personal trainer and gym member ship. She has lost 60 lbs, wants to lose 60 more has gained 15lbs back so needs to lose 75 now. So by the time she is done she could have just got the Band, RNY or Sleeve.

 I/we did the Weigh****chers Program in 2003-04 and it worked great.  It really did...if you followed it and stayed on it.  We really got a lot from going to the meetings each week.  Like most folks things changed.  My contract ended in San Francisco.  We moved up to Seattle for a year.  We really didn't get into the meetings at W.W. there.  We still basically followed the program and worked out quite a bit.  We did spend a lot of money for W.W. that year.  I lost 90 to 100lbs. and my wife lost 45-50lbs.  When we moved back home to Indiana is when the weight started coming back.  Instead of exercising we were working on our new house.  I was stressed learning MRI when I had been doing X-ray for 17 years.  The mid-west, Indiana in particular has a lot of restaurants that are very accessible to you.  I got tendinitis in both elbows and knees and that was my downfall.  I quit working out and the weight came back on as easily as the old eating habits came back.

I've tried to explain that I'm tired of the diet thing.  I'm tired of working so hard only to have the weight come back on.  It's physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausting.  I don't have to tell you guys how I feel.  I know you've been there too.  I know I'm preaching to the choir when it comes to this.  Anyway, the knees are not what they use to be.  The weight and years of abuse had started to take it's toll.  I need to get the weight off so I can move better and with less toll on my body.  I need to know that if I don't follow that diet as I'm told I will be sick.  Bottom line: action-reaction, risk-reward, eat the wrong thing and have a dumping episode.  

Look, my wife and I both had the surgery as well and we didn't tell, but a select few.  My own parents don't know that we had surgery.  I am just now getting around to telling co workers.  Our very close friends know and are very supportive.  I didn't tell people as a rule because when I used to go on diets I would announce that I was on a diet and it would be a form of sabotage (I can't spell).  You and your wife will be happy you did it and will be very supportive of eachother's efforts, not to mention all the closet space you will gain when you get rid of all the large cloths.  This is your decision and no one else's.  You are unhappy with the way things are now, you have to make the change, not the neah sayers.  A prominent psychologist said that family assigns you a position without even knowing it.  I was assigned the role of Fat Uncle Bob.  Well Fat Uncle Bob lost 80 pounds so far and that sends an imbalance into family.  They don't know how to characterize you.  They have to come to terms with your future success not the other way around.  Did you ever hear the saying "Living well is the best revenge".  It's true!  My wife and I are living well, eating well, exercising and being accountable for our decision to live a "normal" (i hate that word) life.  We owe it to ourselves.  Good Luck and future success to you and the Mrs.  Be advised that the same neah sayers are also the I told you so people.  Prove them wrong and don't give them any opportunity.  But when you see them strut your stuff - it IS the best revenge.

 Excellent advice Bob.  Congratulations to you and your wife!  I do agree, "Living well is the best revenge."  

I'm like most of you guys.  I really didn't want to tell anyone about the surgery until after it's been done.  In fact, I've not told anyone on my side of the family or my friends that do not see me on a regular basis.  My wife, well....that's another issue.  She needs to talk about things and I don't blame her for that, probably one of those Mars-Venus things.  We all have our different ways of coping.  Her surgery is  on Tuesday April 7th.  Soon it won't matter what they think because it will be done.  It never really mattered what they thought anyway.  

Please make sure that if you have any questions that you just post it here, nothing is off limits.  Also there is not stupid questions, or one that has not been asked before.  

Good Luck and please keep us informed on how things are going for both of you.

Jim