Family issues rant

Sandy,  You just keep doing what works for you. When and if you decide to share, deal with it then. I too, tend to minimize my own feelings, to avoid confrontation, but I have noticed, the more weight I lose, the more vocal I become when I need to be. Some times, family is just better off avoided. I am very fortunate that I have support from "most" of my family, and as sad as it is, I avoid the unsupportive ones. I will pm you my number as well, I cant do much for you, but I do listen good!!!!

Thank you Betsy for understanding that family can be difficult. Just listening and supporting helps so much. There's obviously years of disfunction to deal with. Thanks again.

Sandy, your situation does suck, all the way around.   And it's too true, that no one has the power to hurt a person like their own family!  My hubby has one of THE most dysfunctional mother/child relationships I've ever been privy to, so if you want to talk, let me know.  I'm more than willing to listen, and to share whatever correlations I can. I do think Ron had a point, in that it's pretty hard to hold your family completely responsible when they don't know what you've been through.    You are a smaller, but hopefully stronger person now than you used to be!  Tell them exactly what you've done and why, and define for them what you find acceptable and not acceptable as far as how they react.   Tell your mother in no uncertain terms that she is NOT to bring you any food, unless she is prepared to take it back home or watch you throw it out.  Make sure she knows what you are working on doing for yourself, and that you will NOT allow your efforts to be sabotaged.  Puts the responsiblity in her hands.   Tell your sister that you are NOT sick, that you feel better than you have in years, and that over time everyone will simply get used to you NOT being the obese person you once were!  If she's the gossipy type, you won't be able to do anything to change that, but you can control how you react to it.  BLOW IT OFF!   Then stand back, be proud of yourself, and don't allow them to treat you like the child you once were.

Thanks Darla, You and Ron have valid points.  I just don't know if I'm there yet.  That's a very scary place for me to go for many reasons. I will take you words under advisement. Maybe some day I'll be able to put myself out there and not worry about the consequences. I'm a work in progress.

We all are, sweet stuff    And I do believe you will get there.  Once YOU see the changes in yourself!

Your family sounds as dysfunctional as mine.  It sounds like your mom ONLY knows how to show love by stuffing your face--just like mine did. Either that or she's trying to sabotage your efforts. Do you have a soup kitchen you take the rolls to? They'd appreciate the sweets. Let  your sister's comment go in one ear and out the other. And then chalk it up to just being her.  Consider the source--and let it go.  You're doing an awesome job, Sandy!  Don't let the 'well meaning' comments and gifts from your family send you into a slump.  WE LOVE YOU! (((HUGS)) **SUE**

Thanks Sue, I just needed to say it instead of stuffing it. Now I need to learn how to put it into words and let my family know. Maybe not this issue but I'll try to learn from this and start working on speaking up for myself.

are we related, coz this sounds like MY family!!!!

I haven't and won't tell my family about my WLS decision - which is why I use the name I do and not my real name on here :)

Hang in there - rant all you need coz I 100% understand and relate!

Thanks for understanding Peach.

I know my words are not popular, but please consider seeking another person  to talk to. Folks on this board are well intentioned but a trained counselor, (with no agenda) can offer some insights that you just are not getting here.  Remember , you are the one who did  NOT share any information with your family  and they are in the dark. I am guessing but I really think your mom and sister would act differently if they knew you had WLS.  I really don't think your family should be viewed as the bad guys. They are being portrayed here as being very thoughtless.  How can they be thougtFULL if they don't know what is going on? I failed all my mind reading classes.  Give your family the benefiit of the doubt, they probably didn't do any better in mind reading than I did.  Please find some other person to talk to. Please.