Family issues rant

Well, I'll take my first step at confrontation.  Way out of my comfort zone. Why do you keep turning this back on me?  In my posts I've said that there is history of non-support from my mom and sister.  If they had been thoughtful in the past, I probably would have told them about WLS.  I know that there are parts that I'm "just not getting here", but where's your support for me?  If I chose not to share, don't you think I had very good reasons?  Yes, I know I need to find someone to talk to, I started here where I thought I had friendly support-I'm not used to sharing my feelings.  This is my first post where I have shared part of my life.  I get that this is an area that I need work on.  I can't pour 40+ years of family dynamics out in a post so there is no mind-reading needed.  But I thought I was clear about their non-support.  As I explained, I just needed a place to rant for a minute and get it out of my system without being judged. The people on this board are 99% supportive, I know they are not liscensed psychologists.  They just listen and put in their 2 cents.  I said that you made a valid point and I will think about telling my family.  I don't only want to hear from people who agree with me, but now you've again told me how it's my fault for not telling them.  No, your words are not popular, but just because you start your posts off with that doesn't mean you're being supportive either. I thank you for getting me started on working on my family relationships.

Sandy   Hearing what you WANT to hear is not always the best advice. You posted in a public forum, and since I DO have experience with unsupportive family I decided to reply. I lost 100 lbs back in the 80's and when I got home from weigh in the night I hit 100 pounds  my (now ex wife) said " What's the big deal should I give you a f^% gold star?"  I understand LACK OF SUPPORT!!! I presented a differing point of view because I DO UNDERSTAND, WAY BETTER THAN YOU KNOW. I have plenty of things to share that I have not posted either. You have no idea that I was beaten SEVERLY from the age of 6 months by an abusive alcoholic father. Yes, I am scared of alcohol and alcoholics to this day. Yes, it does effect the way I act.  I have seen people in this forum say things about your mom and sister deliberately being mean. Yes, I do not know the background of what your family has been like, but I do know if you have not told your mom or sister there is no way they can possibly understand what is going on.  Telling them does not have to be a confrontation. You are smart woman, you can figure a unique NON confrontational way to let them know. I have spent many years being resentful for hurts I received from my family. My healing and recovery has been achieved from hearing from people who disagreed with me.  I have had many friends set me straight.  I have learned that no matter how bad things seem, someone else has it worse.  You have a mother that is STILL alive. I don't. I would give anything if I could hear my mom complain again.   You can continue your pity party and listen to the advice of people who tell you how horrible your mom is for bringing food, or you can listen to a person pleading with you to reconsider.   I have been through bad times, but I am finally getting my life back in order. It has not been an easy journey. The goal is worth it. I think it is wonderful you are doing what you need to do get healthy. You have my admiration. Just rethink what you are saying. You only get one mom. I wish I could talk to mine again.   Ron

Just a thought...If my sister lost 100+ pounds in only a few months "on a diet" I'd be concerned that something wasn't right. But since your mom never taught her to say things nicely I wouldn't hold it against her, she may be genuinely concerned. My cousin, and best friend, is the only person who's expressed displeasure at my upcoming surgery. She can't tell me why she's so against it. I believe that when I change my ways of eating she will lose her eatin' out buddy and that's why she, subconciously, doesn't want me to have WLS.