life is so not fair

Marsha F.
on 6/11/08 10:33 pm
Hi guys i need to vent.....  What the heck life is so not fair.  My dad called me last night and my Uncle does have cancer in his stomach,esopgagus,and lungs.  It's in his limph nodes which I know isn't good.  He's in the hospital until friday then going home to the smokey mountains in GA.  He is starting Chemo monday I guess if not today .  I will call him in a little bit.  I am scared I will blubber on the phone and I don't want him to know I am sad !!!! I want him to know I am strong.  Why the hell does crap like this have to happen.  Why do good people get hurt?  I just don't understand.  I get so mad at god sometimes for crap like this and I know it's not right.   Why do rapeists, and murderers, and child beaters, and all them bad people get to lve and the good people get taken away. WTF>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I just don't understand.  I thinks its to bad this time to get through it.  I can't lose him youguys I just can't.  My life with my dad and his side hasn't always the greatest.  I will explain...My dad is my stepdad he married my horrible mother when I was 2.  My mother brainwashed me for years over him and said he was no good and mean well they got divorced when I was 15.  I didn't talk to my dad for almost 5 years 5 years I will never get back.  I had nothing to do with him, my uncle, or my grandparents.  I finally broke free from the prison of my mother and realized how bad she filled my head full of crap and my dad and I have been very close ever since.  THANK GOD FOR THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I went through counciling for all that but still get mad at myself for being so mean to him.  My dad and I have had long talks and he forgives me he said there is nothing to forgive that he knew how my mother was and one day I would wake up and be free....... I feel so bad that now I have my good family back it's gonna be taken away from me again and this time I won't be getting it back.  Does any of this make sense to you.  I think I am just rambling.  Sorry this is so long.  For goodness sakes I could write a fricken book.   Needless to say I have not spoken to my mother in 3 1/2 years and she lives in the same town as me.  I tried het to go to counciling with me and she won't she is not in the wrong.  She in her eyes has never been wrong ever.  (I think thats where I get it from)LOLOLOL anyways I feel a wee bit better thanks for letting me vent.  I just wish things would be different ya know life just isn't fair.  Ps i go today for my root canal oh fricken yay  it doesn't get any better does it.  My denist said the infection was starting and I have been on my meds for 2 days now it only hurts off and on now he said when he starts and it won't go numb he will quit.  I think I would rather suffer through it and be done with it.  Well I am done now take care everyone and cherish each day like it's your last. Love and hugs Marsh
 
Connie D.
on 6/11/08 10:47 pm

Sweetie...I am so sad for you. Your story brought tears to my eyes.

I am glad you made amends with your dad and his family. Just move ahead now. Be with your uncle in whatever way you can. He knows you love him and he knows you are afraid for him. Just give him all the support and love you can right now.  Life doesn't seem fair sometimes....boy to I understand that statement!! We have to remember things happen for a reason. Someday we will understand. God Bless your uncle, you and all of your family. I am here anytime you need to talk, vent or whatever. I wish you well at your dentist appointment today. That doesn't sound like fun. Soon it will be all over!! I love you...you know that.  (((Gentle Hugs)))  connie d

Marsha F.
on 6/11/08 10:52 pm
Thanks Sweetie.    I hope some day I will understand but right now I don't.  I won't be going to coffee this weekend I just can't with our budget.  I wanna save money to go to my dads in July when My uncle comes home to go over his will with my dad.  Thanks hun I love you.  Maybe we can meet for coffee or something soon.  Hugs marsh
 
Connie D.
on 6/11/08 11:14 pm
Marsha...I am going to make it to visit you soon!! We can go out to coffee and have a nice time. I need my Marsha HUG!!! Love and ooodles of hugs.....connei d
Diamond Girl
on 6/11/08 10:49 pm - Ham Lake, MN
Marsha - I'm sending you a big 'ol hug 'cuz you need it!
Marsha F.
on 6/11/08 10:53 pm
 Thanks sweetie... hey nice lips by the way hubba hubba  LOLOLOLO
 
Laurie J.
on 6/11/08 10:54 pm - St Croix Falls, WI

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Marsha}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} As Connie said - your uncle knows you love him - spend what time you can with him, in what ever way you can.  Life isn't fair sometimes, but God does have a plan for you, your dad and your uncle.

Hugs and prayers going to you, your dad, your uncle and the rest of the family. 

 
309/295/154.6/150 = Highest/Surgery Date/Current/Goal
Marsha F.
on 6/11/08 11:15 pm
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Lindaanne
on 6/11/08 11:02 pm - SSP, MN

I know its hard to wait........... to think of... and to find peace in but...   the good ones are going home to our Father and a much better place... the bad ones when they go will face the ultimate punishment.   Find peace in that fact... we will always miss those that pass but rejoice in the fact that they are "home" in the best place ever.

Hugs and sending you vibes of strength during this tough time. Linda

 

Start Weight - 263
       Current Weight
  135 and making it work for ME !
 

Marsha F.
on 6/11/08 11:16 pm
Thank you sweetie.......
 
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