I just really need to vent...

I've noticed in these 5 short weeks how DIFFICULT change is for people around us. Doesn't make it okay that your grandmother was rude but people seem to have a hard time when we are losing weight. We are starting to become something different to them and we can't be kept in the obese place anymore. It's amazing the positives and negatives FAT has on us. Keep up the good work and rise above this occasion because you worked too hard to be brought down!

I'm sorry Grandma was so mean, I would be hurt and pissed off too. Really uncalled for, I mean shameful? Give me a break! How often do you see her? Is this typical from her, I sure hope not! She should be celebrating your huge success, 50LBS is such an acheivement, she should be proud to have her beautiful granddaugter walking through her apartment. Hugs!!! I feel for you!

Yeah....unfortunately it is typical... it's Russian old lady style.... nag about every little thing and never notice the good. Ugh... There's a part of me that thinks maybe her mind is going a little  because seriously --- pants??!!! shameful?? What the heck!

Elena~Big Hugs to you!  It is very difficult when those we expect to be so proud of our success just find something else to nit pick and don't even acknowledge the changes we have made.  I truely hope that your Mom might be able to get through to Grandma and let her know that no matter what culture or generation she is from that, that is not an okay way to treat anyone.  I hope you had a better night once you got to work. BTW you look amazing--Keep up the great work!   Love & Hugs! Nicole

Thanks Nicole... that means a lot coming from someone I admire so much.

Okay..... I don't have the same view of the culture thing that you do.....but am getting a dose of it in my own way as you know.... so can understand a bit of that..

Okay, so your pants were to long...(gee with my short legs wonder if I EVER wore pants to long!!!!) this does not give her the right to badger you that way.. I know how much it can hurt when family does not recognize your accomplishments, and still focus on the negatives....

I have to ask... what kind of relationship do you normally have with your grandmother? Is this typical behavior for her? If it is just blow it off... (yes I know easier said then done.) I have family members I will never please no matter what I do.... I have learned I can do one of two things....either decide to stand there, take it.. and then blow it off.... or if this is something you can't do, then avoid for a time.... when she asks you or your mother why.....tell her the truth......be honest....then let her make the next move.... I know we all need to respect our older family members... but respecting them...doesn't mean letting them treat you that way....

I am rambling... sorry... just know.... I feel for you okay.

Yeah, unfortunately  it's typical..... but not to the extent that she went off this time around.... I just need to put it past me and move on.

Hi Elena~
Why is it that those who love you the most are the meanest?  Why is your granny being just plain nasty?  Culture might part of it, but to stand outside the bathroom and harangue you about PANTS LENGTH is just nasty.  Shame on her!!!

I've looked at your profile and it is sooooo obvious that you've lost weight!!!!  GF--you look wonderful!!!  I truly mean it. YOU LOOK WONDERFUL! When you are done losing weight, you will be absolutely breath-takingly beautiful. I mean this from the heart.

I agree--WTF?????? "SHAMEFUL"???  What's shameful about pants being unhemmed because you haven't had time to have them tailored?
Give me a break!
Elena, Sweetheart, if Granny has a problem, LET ME AT HER!!  

I am not a person to intrude in other's family politics, but this goes beyond politics to abuse. CAN I SET YOUR GRANNY STRAIGHT??

Excuse me. I don't ever get upset reading someone's post--but your's struck a chord in me. Maybe it's the social worker in me coming out, but what Grandma is doing to you is abuse. 

Elena, Sweetie--feel free to get hold of me if you want to vent. I am PMing my phone number so's you can call me.  

and ((HUGS))
**SUE**

Thanks a lot Sue..... yeah ... one of my friends said perhaps it's because she's cooped up in her apartment.... she lives in a Russian apartment with all  her Russian elderly friends and I just feel like maybe they attack each other or something.... so when I come, she wants me to not shame her. Regardless, it was just a stupid thing to do.

How long can you avoid going to Granny's?  A month?  Six months? Until you have your whole wardrobe tailored?  Might this be a tempory solution to Grandma's fixation on the wrong thing?

Just because Grandma is cooped up doesn't give her the right to berate you for such a seemingly small faux pas.  Culture or not, where does  human kindness come into play?

Anyway--I'm willing to bet that she does love you and you love her. It's just such a warped way of showing it from her side.

You take care, Elena, and know that WE'RE behind you 100%!!

(((HUGS)))
**SUE**