My turn to VENT! - GRAPHIC! - You've been warned
venting... and saying the things here that I keep saying at home... Am I doing something wrong??? I swear I'm the world's biggest fool... Diane may have been dupped... but I've been going through it for over 15 years and still here... who's the fool??? ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND YES I'M SCREAMING
Why in the hell is it so hard to find a damn man that is at least a little bit responsible! One that wants and knows how to take care of a woman???
Are they so damn far apart?
Is it too much to ask to find a man that wraps his arms around you and loves you and protects you before others?? One who wants to be with you but is secure enough to know that he can be without you? A man that is willing to support his family? That would allow me to help support it but not insist that I carry the whole load... *cry*
I'm so ******g sick and tired of the **** around here... the lying... the stealing... the bull ****!
"oh honey but I'm here every day helping you!" GO OUT AND GET A ******G JOB YA LAZY ASS!
"are you going to give me the money I spent at Valley Fair??" I PAID FOR YOUR ASS FOR 15 YEARS AND YOU ARE *****ING ABOUT PAYING FOR ME ONCE!?!?!
"you need me" THIS IS THE BIGGEST JOKE OF ALL... WHAT DO I NEED? I LIAR - A CHEATER? A DAM THIEF??? RIGHT.... I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
"you can"t blame me for everything that wrong" I DON'T! ONLY THOSE THINGS THAT YOU SAID YOU WOULD DEAL WITH AND THAT ONCE AGAIN GOT DUMPED.
YES I BLEW UP TODAY! THE TENT THAT I SPENT WEEKS MAKING AND A LOT OF MONEY ON IS SITTING IN A PILE IN THE BARN ROTTEN... BECAUSE YOU DUMPED IT THERE.
THE BARN IS A DISASTER AREA!!! THERE IS **** EVERYWHERE! i CAN'T EVEN GET TO MY STUFF! HALF THAT WAS BROUGHT OUT THERE IS LAYING IN MUD AND RUINED... THE OTHER HALF IS JUST DUMPED IN THERE.. AND IT'S GOING TO FALL TO ME TO CLEAN IT ALL UP. GO FIGURE
YOU LEFT THE DOGS IN THE BASEMENT IN SHAMBLES... THE BASEMENT IS TRASHED.. I SPENT OVER $100K REMODELING AND IT WAS FOR NOTHING. IT'S NOT THE MONEY! IT'S THE LEVEL OF IRRESPONSIBILITY SHOWN! NOT TO MENTION THE FATE OF THOSE DOGS... HOW COULD YOU LEAVE THEM IN FILTH LIKE THAT... THE MORE I CLEAN UP AROUND HERE THE MORE CRAP I FIND!!!
ok thanks.... I've said these things to him time and time again... it does no good...
he had to take my car so he could get a job... he hasn't put application 1 in in over a month.
he refuses to hand over his house keys - refuses to be away from his stuff... I'm going to change locks soon
why in the hell do we have to make good friends but can't stand each other? grr....
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND YES I'M SCREAMING
Why in the hell is it so hard to find a damn man that is at least a little bit responsible! One that wants and knows how to take care of a woman???
Are they so damn far apart?
Is it too much to ask to find a man that wraps his arms around you and loves you and protects you before others?? One who wants to be with you but is secure enough to know that he can be without you? A man that is willing to support his family? That would allow me to help support it but not insist that I carry the whole load... *cry*
I'm so ******g sick and tired of the **** around here... the lying... the stealing... the bull ****!
"oh honey but I'm here every day helping you!" GO OUT AND GET A ******G JOB YA LAZY ASS!
"are you going to give me the money I spent at Valley Fair??" I PAID FOR YOUR ASS FOR 15 YEARS AND YOU ARE *****ING ABOUT PAYING FOR ME ONCE!?!?!
"you need me" THIS IS THE BIGGEST JOKE OF ALL... WHAT DO I NEED? I LIAR - A CHEATER? A DAM THIEF??? RIGHT.... I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
"you can"t blame me for everything that wrong" I DON'T! ONLY THOSE THINGS THAT YOU SAID YOU WOULD DEAL WITH AND THAT ONCE AGAIN GOT DUMPED.
YES I BLEW UP TODAY! THE TENT THAT I SPENT WEEKS MAKING AND A LOT OF MONEY ON IS SITTING IN A PILE IN THE BARN ROTTEN... BECAUSE YOU DUMPED IT THERE.
THE BARN IS A DISASTER AREA!!! THERE IS **** EVERYWHERE! i CAN'T EVEN GET TO MY STUFF! HALF THAT WAS BROUGHT OUT THERE IS LAYING IN MUD AND RUINED... THE OTHER HALF IS JUST DUMPED IN THERE.. AND IT'S GOING TO FALL TO ME TO CLEAN IT ALL UP. GO FIGURE
YOU LEFT THE DOGS IN THE BASEMENT IN SHAMBLES... THE BASEMENT IS TRASHED.. I SPENT OVER $100K REMODELING AND IT WAS FOR NOTHING. IT'S NOT THE MONEY! IT'S THE LEVEL OF IRRESPONSIBILITY SHOWN! NOT TO MENTION THE FATE OF THOSE DOGS... HOW COULD YOU LEAVE THEM IN FILTH LIKE THAT... THE MORE I CLEAN UP AROUND HERE THE MORE CRAP I FIND!!!
ok thanks.... I've said these things to him time and time again... it does no good...
he had to take my car so he could get a job... he hasn't put application 1 in in over a month.
he refuses to hand over his house keys - refuses to be away from his stuff... I'm going to change locks soon
why in the hell do we have to make good friends but can't stand each other? grr....
Lori - bringing home *MY* form of sexy one day at a time!
Highest 315 ~ Pre-Surgery 297 ~ Current 159
~ Goal 149
Highest 315 ~ Pre-Surgery 297 ~ Current 159
~ Goal 149
Lori~(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) I am so glad that you vented, with all of that inside you I can't even begin to imagine how much stress you are dealing with. If you refresh your computer you will see that I changed my avatar pic, because I don't want you to have to see him on here as well. I honestly say go out and buy new locks and boot his butt! While I did have a lot of fun with you all on Sunday I can definitely see where there are problems.....he still seems very immature and from what you said has never quite grasped the whole concept of responsiblity for one's actions. I hope that you are able to get the basement cleaned up and at least fix some of it. I can relate to loosing a good tent to mold, because my ex let that happen to one of ours...I was furious. May Briecan come over some time and help with the barn stuff since some of it is hers too. Just remember though to take it one day at a time so as not get overwhelmed. I am not sure what the answer is to finding a good man as I have yet to find one myself and I am starting to believe they are an endangered species! Just remember you do deserve someone *****spects you enough to have a balanced relationship where you both contribute. I hope that the day gets better for you and if you need to talk you know how to reach me! Love & Hugs! Nicole
"When you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
I can tell you what I think and you can take it or leave it, no judgements from me.
I don't know where you got the idea that you are good friends....because friends don't treat each other that way.
I went through this too -- I told you that -- my ex still lives with me (14 days until I move!!!!!!!!!) and he is lazy and depressed and I constantly feel like I am carrying a huge load on my shoulders trying to prop him up.
2 months ago... I gave up. You need to as well. What are you holding on to? I know, I know, it's not easy to leave what is so comfortable.... but that's why we left FOOD.... you chose surgery and said goodbye to food -- so you see -- YOU CAN DO IT... and it feels so much better.
You are an attractive woman... give yourself the life you deserve. Screaming is fine by me. After you are all screamed out, make a plan. To get anywhere with a situation like that... you have to have a step by step plan (just like we did with our surgery approval process).
Make that plan... I honestly don't know your background or if you have kids, but make the choice for change. Seek professional help if you need it... and plan, plan, plan... then execute!!
You seem like you make all the $$ anyway so it sounds like you don't have too hard of a time supporting yourself. If so... there are low-income options for apartments or new homes. And if it takes a lawyer to kick him out of your house, turn there.
If you want to stay friends with him (which I wouldn't recommend for a few months anyway)...then doing something now will assure that your relationship won't become SOO rotten that you loath the sight of him.
We're here to help ... also... read the book Woman Who Love Too Much. You seem to be what I was and am... and what I am not getting over.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE AWAY YOUR LIFE -- THAT IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS!! YOU WORKED HARD FOR IT!!
I don't know where you got the idea that you are good friends....because friends don't treat each other that way.
I went through this too -- I told you that -- my ex still lives with me (14 days until I move!!!!!!!!!) and he is lazy and depressed and I constantly feel like I am carrying a huge load on my shoulders trying to prop him up.
2 months ago... I gave up. You need to as well. What are you holding on to? I know, I know, it's not easy to leave what is so comfortable.... but that's why we left FOOD.... you chose surgery and said goodbye to food -- so you see -- YOU CAN DO IT... and it feels so much better.
You are an attractive woman... give yourself the life you deserve. Screaming is fine by me. After you are all screamed out, make a plan. To get anywhere with a situation like that... you have to have a step by step plan (just like we did with our surgery approval process).
Make that plan... I honestly don't know your background or if you have kids, but make the choice for change. Seek professional help if you need it... and plan, plan, plan... then execute!!
You seem like you make all the $$ anyway so it sounds like you don't have too hard of a time supporting yourself. If so... there are low-income options for apartments or new homes. And if it takes a lawyer to kick him out of your house, turn there.
If you want to stay friends with him (which I wouldn't recommend for a few months anyway)...then doing something now will assure that your relationship won't become SOO rotten that you loath the sight of him.
We're here to help ... also... read the book Woman Who Love Too Much. You seem to be what I was and am... and what I am not getting over.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE AWAY YOUR LIFE -- THAT IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS!! YOU WORKED HARD FOR IT!!
Lori~I must say that I agree with what Elena has to say. I too lived with my ex after we broke up and it kept me trapped in a toxic environment where my mental health continued to deteriorate and kept me "brainwashed" and convinced I needed my ex to survive. so, change the locks, and kick his butt to the curb he will have to learn sometime what life is all about and if he isn't getting the message being nice, well that is what they call "tough love". I know you have it in you to transform your life, look at what you have accomplished in the past year (you have lost a whole person). Love & Hugs! Nicole P.S. If I wouldn've known he was gonna pull that BS with you about the tickets I would have just had him give me the money for his and have you pay me whenever. I can not believe him, that and you paid for dinner and got all the food that we ate during the day....he is being such a jerk about all of this!
"When you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty." 
Stay strong and true to yourself..... Tell the ass to get out... you are beautiful woman... so strong so much to offer.... The door is open down south if you want a vacation... I need a good friend who has gone through what I have gone through and who has gone through what I will go through next Tuesday...... You have been kind to me... Take care and be strong.. Lorie
{{{{{{{{{{Lori}}}}}}}}}}
I am so sorry to hear that all this has been building up inside of you...amazing! It is good to get it out, and now that you have done that - do something. As was stated (I believe by Elena), make a plan then execute it (the plan, not him...tempting as that may sound, will get you into more trouble than you want!)
My idea - take it or leave it, it is up to you...
Give him a date to be out of the house by. If he isn't, when he is gone, have the locks changed and have all his stuff out on the front porch or lawn so he will still have "his stuff", but doesn't have a way to get into the house to bother you again.
If you think that there might be some physical violence/or other issues like that, be sure to notify the police department what is happening, and you may want to get a restraining order against him so there is some court power (sort of) behind it.
If you need to chat, I'll PM you my digits...I'm here for you girl!
Best of luck!
309/295/154.6/150 = Highest/Surgery Date/Current/Goal
(((Lori)) I know it is much easier said than done but once you break free from Roger, you will definitely feel the peace within! Some marriages are just not meant to be. When you are together and bring out the worst in eachother, it's not a solid foundation to start with. Seems like there is a lot to the situation here but YOU CAN'T CHANGE HIM. If you've been open and honest with him and told him what you need out of the relationship and it still hasn't improved things, then it's time to face the facts.
You've got the answer, I can "hear" it in your post. Do you know you have it?
Laurie had a good piece of advice about giving him a timeline to move out by (make it sooner rather than later & one a day or two's notice) and notify the police of the plan in case of a domestic.
Stand firm on your two feet, Lori! You do not need to take this anymore - break free.
You've got the answer, I can "hear" it in your post. Do you know you have it?
Laurie had a good piece of advice about giving him a timeline to move out by (make it sooner rather than later & one a day or two's notice) and notify the police of the plan in case of a domestic.
Stand firm on your two feet, Lori! You do not need to take this anymore - break free.
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