OT: Family Dynamics

After spending the weekend up at my parents I have come to realize that my relationship with my Dad has changed a lotn in the last year and a half and I have become a "Daddy's Girl".  My Dad told me this afternoon that he wished I could just stay up there to take care of him as he recovers from double knee replacement.  I am a lot gentler and more patient with him than my Mom or he is afraid either of my sisters will be.  I have to admit I do spoil my Dad a little and gave him a little massage today and was checking on him often to see if he needed anything.  While he is moving quite well for only being about a week out from surgery he still has a lot todo.  I think I will plan on going up there over Labor Day weekend. I think my Mom is having a hard time addapting to this change in family dynamics as she and I are still at odds with one another as she is upset that my Dad would prefer I put on his TED socks or help him get up from the reclining couch.  I have also realized that the type of guy I am looking for is indeed much like my Dad.  Just had to share this with someone as it was running through my mind on the drive home tonight. 

It's surprising how often woman look for a man similar to their dad....bad or not.

Change in family dynamic can you weird for some people... especially if someone feels like something is being taken away from them... but it's very nice that your dad can rely on you that way.

My husband is a lot like my dad was.  He died when I was tweleve so I don't remember much but I chuckle when my husband watches things like Hogans Heros and westerns on TV...my dad did too (probably just a guy thing).  We will celebrate our 20 year anniversary next month.

Nicole,

Tears are running down my face..........I wish I had that kind of relationship with my Dad.........

You are a wonderful Daughter.......I think alot of us girls look for a man like our Father.....

Kelly

Kelly~Thank you.  I am just amazed at how lucky I am that I got a second chance to have a good relationship with my Dad.  I wouldn't trade him in for anything in the whole world!

I'm glad to hear you are getting along with your dad so well and being so supportive to him right now.  I can't imagine having double knee replacement!!!.  I, too, am a little jealous :)  After spending most of my life having my dad tell me how disappointed and disgusted he is of me, we don't have a good relationship.  He always has and probably always will be my biggest eating trigger, so I can only go to visit him a couple times a year.  I hope your preparations to eat better while there worked.  (((hugs)))

Lois~I used to butt heads with my dad, but I think both he and I have made some significant changes in our lives in the last few years.  A couple of weeks ago my sisters and I were talking about how my dad was going to handle being in the hospital, because he really dislikes them, and I found out that when I was in/out of the hospital with my mental illness that he would cry a lot about it.  I remember last year before I finally got it all under control that I would call to talk to him rather than my mom because he was a lot more sensative and caring.  I pray that your dad will see how much his words of disapproval hurt you and that he would open up his heart and love to you before it is too late.  I am gradually weening myself off of the snacking and while I did still snack up at my parents they were healthy snacks, so in a way yes things did go better as there were no cake or brownies there and I have stuff that I liked and was healthy for me to eat, although I did have a little ice cream sundae on Saturday night, but my tummy let me know that I need to stick to frozen yogurt if I am going to have anything like that in the future.   Love & Hugs!  Nicole

As a life-long "Daddy's Girl", I'm so happy that you have found that kind of relationship with your dad!  I hope your mother can come to appreciate it as well, as it isn't a competition between mother & daughter.  I did things for my dad in his final 3 years on earth that a young woman would never imagine doing - but it was because I loved him SO MUCH!!  I would do anything to have him back here with me...

Darla~I too hope my Mom will come to realize this as well.  I can't imagine losing my Dad and hope that with this knee surgery and being back on Chantix to stop smoking that he will become more healthy and be around for a long time.  I am sure your Dad was very grateful to have a loving daughter like you to be with and care for him his last years here on earth and I am sure he is smiling down on you from heaven so proud of you and all that you have accomplished. 

       thanks, Nicole