OT When is enough enough

I just wanna scream. I am trying to learn how to say "No" to Laurie when she needs things. Her bf has not worked in months. She called and asked if I would pay the 162.00 to turn cable back on and I just don't have it.

I feel like a heel saying no, but when I don't have enough for all I need to pay how can I continue to help her?????

AAARRRGGGHHHHHH.   Diapers I will buy, make sure Nemi has food yes, but I have to draw the line somewhere.

Stress eating is totally out of control... I wonder why (NOT).

Karen

When I've been out having a ****tail with friends and I start to slur....Thats enough

When all three of my kids are asking me three different questions at the same time....thats enough.

When my husband and I are in a fight and he brings up something from 14 years ago thats always my fault....thats enough.

When I have binged on food the  the point that I feel full up to my chest....thats enough

Oh, was that what you meant??

 

OH my how funny. The first time I looked at your post it was blank. So I just assumed it was a general question. Kind of like a ponder. So please excuse my barrage of nonsense.

All is well,  I needed the smile that you gave me.  Gives me back some perspective.  Thank You

btw  was not nonsense at all

Karen

I wish my parents wouldn't have been so "helpful" to me when I was younger.  Since cable isn't a neccessity, I'd say no.  Course I say that now.  Ask me in 20 years when Lauren is older and wants me to pay for some non-essential.   I'm sure it's easier said than done. 

Cable is a luxury, not a necessity... I don't think there is any reason at all that you should feel guilty for saying no.

Like others already said, cable isn't a necessity.  Tell her if they can't pay for it, they shouldn't have it.  You will help as much as you can, but only with things that they absolutely need.  WHICH IS NOT THE SAME AS SAYING YOU WILL PAY FOR THE THINGS THEY ABSOLUTELY NEED.  If that isn't made clear, they'll get YOU to pay for necessities so THEY can pay for cable & such!  If you keep bailing them out, they'll never learn to take care of themselves.  

Sometimes life lessons are unpleasant, but effective.

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.

....when it feels like you are enabling rather than really helping someone out.

RP

Good answer!! 

I feel the same way about my 30 year old baby brother.  He  just cant seem to stand on his own two feet because his mother and 4 sisters (me included) allow him to get away with it.

I have to agree with everyone else. You have to draw the line. Cable is not a necessity, Oh they may feel like it is but when it comes right down to it there is always DVDs they can watch. That is what I have had to do several times my family did not like it but after the first few days they stopped complaining and it just became a normal part of life not having TV.

 You most definetly do not want to enable them otherwise he will never go out and get a job because he has everything he needs. If he has nothing to work for then he will take advantage of that. Believe me I have a husband that is doing the same thing so I actually took something away from him in order for him to get a job. I decided that it was only important to him so I stopped paying for it.

Good luck