OT When is enough enough

Thank You to each and every one of you.  The way I handle things for her has to change. It has been putting a large strain on my relationship with Marlin (BF of 6 years). He accepted Laurie as part of a package deal when we met and got together.  He has been working on helping me and pushing me to say no.

I remember how much I hated my mom when I was about 24 and she cut off the money help, I thought she was a terrible mom and did not love me. Now I understand how much she does love me. Enough to say, grow, stand on your own.

I don't feel so alone, you are really great people to be able to ask a question and get an answer without it being judgemental.

Thank You All,

Karen

Hi Karen~
I can so empathize with you!  I believe you are doing the right thing--if you must, pay for those things that are essential--diapers, baby food, normal food.   Cable, I feel, is a 'luxury' and not necessary, therefore not something you should pay for.

Stick to your guns, Darlin'!  If they have to do without, maybe that would be impetus for BF to get a job.  There are jobs--might not be something we wished for, but if it pays the bills, who cares? I'm a prime example--I have Bachelors in Social Work, but am working a part-time minimum wage job until my dream job comes around. 

And you can get hold of the stress eating! Think of how far you've come, and don't let these situations get the best of you!  I'll keep you in my prayers.

God bless~
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I'm with you on this one. My daughter is almost 20 treats me like **** but then the next day sweet as pie and that is when she comes asking "pleasssssse" and I give in. Just about 3 weeks ago I said NO and surprisingly things are much better between us and no I have no problems "helping" her with a few things. I would not and will not help with cable, food and other necessary items YES no problem. It's hard at first but she needs to learn and like the other posters you are just enabling her and why would you take from yourself to give to her at this point of your lives. Be there for the grandchild but also know that you are not her mother and that there is only so much you can do.

Good luck {{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}

I agree with the rest of the bunch.  Cable is NOT a necessity.  DO NOT feel like a heel!  Several years ago I borrowed my sister some money and I'm still trying to get her to pay me back.  She's paid some, but owes more than she's paid.  I'm in a pickle right now where I NEED it back, so I'm bugging her all the time.  In fact, she hasn't talked to me in nine months 'cause she doesn't want me to bring it up.  One of the things she has is Direct TV with all the bells and whistles.  I also found out she was painting her house this summer and she said (via e-mail) it was a necessity after the storm.  I said "I think my paying my health insurance and buying groceries is a necessity, not painting a house!"  That's when she sent me a little money.  Argghhh!!!!!!

Anyway, you do need to take care of yourself first or you won't be able to help anyone else.    Say no to cable!