OT: ATTN:Mother's of Young Children

Sandra N.
on 11/17/08 1:17 am - MN

Yes, I remember the many talks we have had. My heart breaks for the perpatrators as "HURT people hurt people".......THEY need to PAY but I hope there becomes more programs to help them too. As a victim of sexual abuse, I feel for the scum who did that to me and he never did pay for his crime.
HUGS

~Sandie~ -147!!WLS:12-12-06:Preop 268,Ht.5'4",BMI 44.9
Click on link to see my journey!!!
http://www.onetruemedia.com/my_shared?z=2bfaca5561a1d558fceb
87&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
"Do unto others as you'd have done to you"~ The Golden Rule to Live by!
You are what you EAT and WHO you hang out with! Choices=Outcome~ what's YOUR choice??
I'm not perfect but I am going to die trying!!!

Erika S.
on 11/16/08 11:40 pm - Duluth, MN

RNY on 01/02/08

Thank you for posting this Sandie! Although, I do not have any children myself I do have nieces and nephews. Whom, I love with all my heart and will surely pass this information on to their parents.

God Bless,

Erika

Sandra N.
on 11/17/08 1:18 am - MN

RNY on 12/12/06

PLEASE do pass this along to ANYONE with kids!!! And remember it can happen to ANYONE from ANYONE!!!!
HUGS & Blessings

~Sandie~ -147!!WLS:12-12-06:Preop 268,Ht.5'4",BMI 44.9
Click on link to see my journey!!!
http://www.onetruemedia.com/my_shared?z=2bfaca5561a1d558fceb
87&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
"Do unto others as you'd have done to you"~ The Golden Rule to Live by!
You are what you EAT and WHO you hang out with! Choices=Outcome~ what's YOUR choice??
I'm not perfect but I am going to die trying!!!

sweetsue617
on 11/17/08 2:03 am - Thunder Bay, Canada

Wow--Sandie~
What a tough subject for you to bring up. Thanks for opening the topic~

MANY years ago I was molested by the hired farm hand, and my parents' reaction?? 'Why did you go with him to the barn?' (Well duh--what kid can resist the offer to see new kittens--HIS enticement. And I was only 7 or 8 years old.). Instead of them tearing his balls off and making him eat them, I became the bad person!!! Thank God things have changed in the last, oh 40-some years. I was so surprised many years later when one of my sisters mentioned that when this guy entered the nursing home where she worked, she had a hard time not creating real pain on this guy. I hadn't even known that this sibling had even cared about me. See how dysfunctional we were?!

And you mentioned the perpetrator: when Quin was 4 or 5 years old, he played frequently with neighbour kids. He suddenly became a 'different' kid--weepy, extremely clingy, exhibiting self-hurting behaviours. and obviously sexual behaviours. He DID not want to play with those boys anymore. When I finally got him to tell me what was wrong, I discovered that these 6 and 7 year old kids were into games--beyond 'playing doctor'! And MY reaction--not letting him go back there. I am so ashamed for not pursuing truth in this situation. What on earth happened to these kids that they knew about sex play? Who abused them?? All I can say is that I thank God for healing Quin from this experience. I wish I had had the strength to go to the authorities for the sake of those boys, but I was (and still am) scared sh*tless about confrontation. God forgive me.

((Hugs))

Sandra N.
on 11/17/08 3:59 am - MN

RNY on 12/12/06

Oh ((((SUE))))!! This is one vicious cycle! These poor kids now days!!! Look at the "availablities" that are at their fingertips~ internet, ect. And the poor kids that have been abused and threatened and not dealt with it can and may abuse others! That is why I feel the importance of putting out reminders. If my reminder can protect one child from abuse or help a child get help then I feel that my assult was not in vane(if that makes sense). Now days if your child is old enough to ride the bus they pretty much have had their ears opened up to some sort of sex talk. Best get our parents to talk to them BEFORE and get the kids aware BEFORE it's too late! When my assult happened (in the early '80's) he was 15 so he got away with it because back then juvies were 16-18. Just shows ya how times have changed (some for the good and with the internet in this sort of cases NOT GOOD).

Hugs/Prayers/Loves/Blessings my dear friend!!

~Sandie~ -147!!WLS:12-12-06:Preop 268,Ht.5'4",BMI 44.9
Click on link to see my journey!!!
http://www.onetruemedia.com/my_shared?z=2bfaca5561a1d558fceb
87&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
"Do unto others as you'd have done to you"~ The Golden Rule to Live by!
You are what you EAT and WHO you hang out with! Choices=Outcome~ what's YOUR choice??
I'm not perfect but I am going to die trying!!!

Kristy A.
on 11/17/08 7:13 am - South Burbs, MN

RNY on 12/11/08

For those of you who shared personal experiences with sexual abuse, I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I can't imagine.

My nephew had some things happen to him with neighborhood boys that were a few years older, and I'm not sure of the details, but he's been going to therapy. I don't think he's shared with the therapist what happened, I don't like to pester my sister about what's going on with that. But, now I'm fearful to have him alone with Lauren. I heard once "hurt people hurt people." Who's to say this sweet, loving 8 yr old isn't going to act out what's happened with him, on Lauren? I'm leary to have my sister babysit Lauren because I don't want her left alone for any amount of time with my nephew if she's outside on a smoke break. It's sad, she lives a few blocks away. I don't feel I can say anything about my fears because I don't want to hurt her feelings, or suggest her son may do something bad to Lauren. It's hard.

Lauren is only in daycare 4 hours 2 times a week and I have "what if" thoughts about the womans husband. There is no reason for me to think anything badly of him, but still. Simple things like a new diaper rash that wasn't there in the morning causes my mind to wonder if anything bad has happened to her. Did anyone see the Oprah show a few months ago with all the sick things people are doing with INFANTS ?

Thanks for the post Sandie. I'll definately be talking to Lauren EARLY.

Kristy (weight loss below does not include 16lbs lost during pre WLS diet)
START: 325 Day of Surgery :309 GOAL: 180

Sandra N.
on 11/17/08 10:13 pm - MN

RNY on 12/12/06

Oh Man! Your poor nephew!!! Wow! That's a tough call. I would just be "proactive"~ family can get messy! Also, watch his behavior as that is a good indicator. NOT ALL abused children will abuse. I am one that hasn't~ it left a scar that I am afraid to hurt anyone in anyway!! It's always best to play it "safe" and protective!!!
Whodathunk that being a parent was this hard and challenging?!?! I NEVER thought!!!
HUGS

~Sandie~ -147!!WLS:12-12-06:Preop 268,Ht.5'4",BMI 44.9
Click on link to see my journey!!!
http://www.onetruemedia.com/my_shared?z=2bfaca5561a1d558fceb
87&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
"Do unto others as you'd have done to you"~ The Golden Rule to Live by!
You are what you EAT and WHO you hang out with! Choices=Outcome~ what's YOUR choice??
I'm not perfect but I am going to die trying!!!

Over_the-Rainbow
on 11/17/08 7:42 am - Hopkins, MN

RNY on 07/25/06

Sandie, huge appreciation for your post! There are many more of us who have been affected by sexual abuse, and not everyone will speak up here. My heart pours for all the innocent children being inappropriately touched, not being properly educated what to do, who to tell. I pray there's an angel to guide and direct each and every victim to safe passaged. Your message is blunt and must be shared across the world. Intimidation to quiet the precious youngsters must be stopped. I'm behind every individual doing their best, stopping this horrendous crime. Healing hugs galore to you! Patti

Never let your memories be greater than your dreams.

Sandra N.
on 11/17/08 10:16 pm - MN

RNY on 12/12/06

I agree! MORE education is needed!! Especially now days with access to the internet kids have more "exposure" to give them ideas and plant the seed of destruction. For some, it is curiousity~ they never meant to hurt but wanted to explore human instincts on sexualaity. THUS education and prevention is soooooooo needed!
Thanks for the HUGS~ back attchya!

~Sandie~ -147!!WLS:12-12-06:Preop 268,Ht.5'4",BMI 44.9
Click on link to see my journey!!!
http://www.onetruemedia.com/my_shared?z=2bfaca5561a1d558fceb
87&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
"Do unto others as you'd have done to you"~ The Golden Rule to Live by!
You are what you EAT and WHO you hang out with! Choices=Outcome~ what's YOUR choice??
I'm not perfect but I am going to die trying!!!

OT: ATTN:Mother's of Young Children

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OT: ATTN:Mother's of Young Children