I'm so blessed, my cup overflows!
Had an epiphany Tuesday night at a dinner and service at a church I've never attended before. The very accommodating large group was very diverse, and so dynamic. Their Thanksgiving service was incredibly inspirational, followed by four individuals who've recently completed individual rehabilitation (up to three years and longer) through church-sponsored 'rehab' of sorts from bondage of various chemical addictions. I was so humbled by their down-and-out stories leading to their salvation. Each of their very personal testimonials were so moving, so honest.
With reaffirmation of my own faith, I realized my own bondage has been due to self-inflicted barriers.
This made me realize, even though I've no chemical 'addictions' per se, that I've been in self-bondage with self -criticism, having not allowed people here into and beyond my emotional barriers. With a contrite heart, I've been forgiven by my Savior, and am learning self-forgiveness as well. I forgive those by whom I'd been inadvertently hurt. Please accept my deepest apologies for anything I have said or done to have hurt any of you. Please forgive me for things I did not say when it had been expected. Please forgive me for not always being able to self-censor my word spoken or written. Please forgive me for being open, and self-consciously reminding people here why I am the way I am, and never intended self-pity at all. I need to stop feeling self-conscious outside of my comfort zone. This is so not self-pity by any means, though the handful of people I'd like to see this have blocked me, so I've no way of conveying this to those I feel most deeply need to know.
I am so blessed! PS recovery is coming along fabulously. Per weekly surgeon visit Tuesday afternoon, I''ve now been allowed to give up the walker, and proceed cautiously with the cane. Also, have lost nineteen pounds during the past two weeks, thanks to the daily Lasix water pills, which are obviously working to reduce fluid. However, feet and ankles remain hideously swollen, though have progressed from gauze wraps to wearing surgeon-recommended Assets 24/7 for support. I've also been released to return to work Sunday December 14! That'll be exactly two months off, and am relieved this 'house arrest' will soon cease! Has truly been a test of patience, which I'd already known was lacking, though am so grateful to have swallowed the pride and ask for the necessary help which has been needed. Sometimes it stinks being a 'work in progress,' though am so grateful for finaly recognizing what needs to be changed within, and having the courage to make amends. Thank you for taking the time to read this; have a truly blessed day! Hugs, Patti
With reaffirmation of my own faith, I realized my own bondage has been due to self-inflicted barriers.
This made me realize, even though I've no chemical 'addictions' per se, that I've been in self-bondage with self -criticism, having not allowed people here into and beyond my emotional barriers. With a contrite heart, I've been forgiven by my Savior, and am learning self-forgiveness as well. I forgive those by whom I'd been inadvertently hurt. Please accept my deepest apologies for anything I have said or done to have hurt any of you. Please forgive me for things I did not say when it had been expected. Please forgive me for not always being able to self-censor my word spoken or written. Please forgive me for being open, and self-consciously reminding people here why I am the way I am, and never intended self-pity at all. I need to stop feeling self-conscious outside of my comfort zone. This is so not self-pity by any means, though the handful of people I'd like to see this have blocked me, so I've no way of conveying this to those I feel most deeply need to know.
I am so blessed! PS recovery is coming along fabulously. Per weekly surgeon visit Tuesday afternoon, I''ve now been allowed to give up the walker, and proceed cautiously with the cane. Also, have lost nineteen pounds during the past two weeks, thanks to the daily Lasix water pills, which are obviously working to reduce fluid. However, feet and ankles remain hideously swollen, though have progressed from gauze wraps to wearing surgeon-recommended Assets 24/7 for support. I've also been released to return to work Sunday December 14! That'll be exactly two months off, and am relieved this 'house arrest' will soon cease! Has truly been a test of patience, which I'd already known was lacking, though am so grateful to have swallowed the pride and ask for the necessary help which has been needed. Sometimes it stinks being a 'work in progress,' though am so grateful for finaly recognizing what needs to be changed within, and having the courage to make amends. Thank you for taking the time to read this; have a truly blessed day! Hugs, Patti
Never let your memories be greater than your dreams.
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