OT (?) is it me, the meds, or my life? LONG

i have to ask.  has anyone tried to cut back on cymbalta (depression and pain med) and had a tough time with it?
in my continuing quest to cut down on medications and reclaim my brain, i started taking half my cymbalta medication - at my own suggestion but my doctor's ok.
i've had several issues with rage since then.  i've been feeling isolated though i have a family, i'm just not feeling the love.  and the hopeless stuff is starting to creep in again. 
so my question is this - should i go back to medicating myself or are the issues really real and the feelings appropriate responses.?
guess i'm looking for an easy answer, when what i really need is INTENSIVE THERAPY. 
but i don't like my teenage daughter telling me what to do and swearing at me.
i get anxious when i lose my boss and get a new one in the space of one week.  we're in a two person office so it's a big deal.
my dh got pi$$y about household chores - AGAIN - but i still think if i do the cooking i should not have to do the dishes.  and that may seem petty by it's our current skirmish.
but most of all i'm sad.  because i'm feeling unloved.  because i've gained back some weight.  because soon we'll be empty nesters.  and because i'm not sure anymore if my spouse of 32 years is the person with whom i want to spend the last third of my life.
like i said - INTENSIVE THERAPY NEEDED HERE.
anybody?

I would highly suggest seeing a therapist that can perscribe meds so that they may evaluate and help you.  Sometimes we are on the wrong meds.  If you feel you need therapy get in now before it gets worse.
HUGS

thanks, sandie.  guess i should probably talk to a professional.  i don't know why i have such an aversion to taking medications - probably cause i watched my dad take so many. 
and i've always considered my coming here, and our coffee clubs, to be my therapy.  i'm of the generation that shys away from seeking help for emotional distress.  not too bright, but it's how i feel.  please don't flame me for it.
but thanks for the input and the hugs. - especially the hugs.
dorthe

I have no experience with any kind of depression meds other than my mom being on Paxil, but the issues that are making you sad sound fairly valid.   My own perspective on what you shared?  Therapy could help you have a healthier perspective.  And given the number of people on "happy pills" (I do NOT mean that in a derogatory way, it's just what I've always called them...), well, they must be a valid way to deal with depression issues.  The millions of people on them can't all be wrong.

Teenage daughters suck at times, I've got one of my own, so that I DO know about.  I love her to death, but she is the one person who can throw me faster than anyone else on earth.  I just keep picking the brains of friends who have survived their daughters' teens, and they assure me that this, too, shall pass.  Some day, our daughters will realize we are NOT idiots, and they'll come to us for advice and reassurance.  OUR job is to hold onto our sanity long enough so that when that time comes, we want to GIVE them that advice and reassurance!

Household chores?  Yeah, they get me pissy too.  I WISH my family would do more, I beg and nag and beg and nag until I'm PURPLE in the face.  At the end of the day, they just don't care as much as I do.  I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I probably can't change that.  So I assign them certain chores they MUST do, and I do whatever else I feel needs doing.  Because I've learned that I'm happier to have it done, than I am to try to hold out until THEY help do it.  And if mama ain't happy, ain't NO ONE happy.

As for the hubby?  It is scary when you're facing the empty nest.  I'm years away from that, but it already scares me to think I won't really recognize the man that I'm sharing the house with.  Sometimes we communicate pretty darn well, sometimes I wonder.  A bit of couple's therapy helped us through a really rough spot a couple of years ago, but marriage is a living, breathing thing, and it needs to be fed and cared for all the time.  The hard thing is figuring out if it's worth feeding and caring for, and no one can answer that for you.

sending you hugs and best wishes...

thank you, darla.  your thoughtful post made me like as though i'm normal, at least. 
i called the dr yesterday - asked for a return to my previous dosage.
through my last two sleepless nights i've decided i need to have a long talk with dh.
and i appreciate the reminder about the teenager.  sometimes i forget.
thanks for the hugs, too, darla.
i appreciate the honesty  and the reminder -  as i've been told in the past - that this is my life, and it ain't always easy.
hugs back atcha.
thanks
dorthe

I was having a hard couping with things like you have described and went to the family doc for help after a birth control switch and added med for anxiety I feel soooo much better and not sad anymore. Talk to you doc about therapy or other options.

hi jennifer:
   i'm so glad you're feeling better.  i did talk to the dr office yesterday and requested a return to my original dosage.  that, along with some decisive talks with the other members of my household, will hopefully help alot.
   thank you for your response, jennifer.  i appreciate you taking the time to respond.
hugs
dorthe

I'll quote a favorite nurse friend....Better living through chemistry!  If the meds help - use them!  I  spent WAY too much of my life denying myself of a "normal" life because I thought I could control my moods and emotions - (I know I can control SOME of it.) - but the bottom line is that regardless of why I am the way I am - my moods and emotions are a reflection of the chemistry in my head and not who I really am. Too bad my parents didn't see that I needed meds WAY earlier than I did because maybe I wouldn't have the self-esteem issues I have now if my head was set straight way back when....hindsight...???

Anyway, you need to get it out of your head that you should decrease your meds...if they keep your world "normal" than by all means stay on them! Just like people have always told me that there is no reason I have to be gray because they make hair dye - there's no reason to be miserable because they make meds! 

I for one will probably never go off my meds because I've tried and life is just too short to be miserable!

Good luck sweetie - luv and hugs to you!

ooooh --- can i use that for my new mantra.
better living through chemistry.
i'm going to try to wrap my mind around that thought and try to stop fighting the fact that sometimes i need the meds.  i take them for thyroid - lifetime.  i take vitamins and supps - wls
and just this week i got rid of the gray - hair dye.  (did you read my mind by the way?)
thank you, hun.  my new normal is something i still need to get used to - funny, i thought i had.
hope your week goes well and thanks again, for the understanding post.
hugs
dorthe

I would talk to someone about the stuff your going through its hard to tell what the real problems are and a professional needs to help you decide that.  I have to say though what you say your feeling is a lot like i feel without my medication.  My brain chemistry just isn't right so I do have to take medicine I also do go to therapy but the medicine is the key for me.  For a long time I hated the fact I had to take medicine to feel "normal" but I just started to realize my life is so much easier to manage when I'm on medicine and my moods are stable.  So I personally think for many people its a combination the right medicine and therapy that help.