Scared and needing encouragment
Hi everyone,
So first off you can call me D, my surgery is scheduled for Dec. 30th at 9 am. I have been periodically cry tonight going between really really wanting to do this and complete terror of the unknown.
I am also scared that my lil 4 year old boys is not going to understand why he is not going to see his mommy for a week. Just so many things going on and no one who understands. My skinny friends tell me to just cancel the surgery... that I don't need it. Others tell me to go to church an dfind god... others tell me to just fricking grow up and deal with it.Have you guys dealt with this and if so how did you over come it? I was thinking about going to a counselor before the surgery just to get things off my chest, but I don't think that that person would understand where I was coming from.
Any and all opinions will be forever greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
D
So first off you can call me D, my surgery is scheduled for Dec. 30th at 9 am. I have been periodically cry tonight going between really really wanting to do this and complete terror of the unknown.
I am also scared that my lil 4 year old boys is not going to understand why he is not going to see his mommy for a week. Just so many things going on and no one who understands. My skinny friends tell me to just cancel the surgery... that I don't need it. Others tell me to go to church an dfind god... others tell me to just fricking grow up and deal with it.Have you guys dealt with this and if so how did you over come it? I was thinking about going to a counselor before the surgery just to get things off my chest, but I don't think that that person would understand where I was coming from.
Any and all opinions will be forever greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
D
If you DIDN'T feel scared and confused before surgery.... you'd be weird! :) We all did!! I was so scared the week before... kept telling myself that I didn't need this and that it was too drastic and that I was so stupid for getting so fat.
There are NORMAL emotions! This surgery is for YOU - not for anyone else. So don't listen to the skinny friends, to the church, to the whoever... listen to yourself. Write out a list of why you wanted to get this surgery in the first place - for your son, for your health, for a thinner you, for a more active you... whatever it is, write it out and post it on your wall.
Your son is young... most people that have young kids on here (from what I have read) just tell their kids that mommy is going to go to the doctor so she can be healthier and more active. That way the kid feels like it benefits him in some way. :) He can help take care of you after you get back!!
Don't worry and don't fret -- the fears will pass... you'll have some buyers remorse AFTER surgery and then you'll be lovin' your new life!!
There are NORMAL emotions! This surgery is for YOU - not for anyone else. So don't listen to the skinny friends, to the church, to the whoever... listen to yourself. Write out a list of why you wanted to get this surgery in the first place - for your son, for your health, for a thinner you, for a more active you... whatever it is, write it out and post it on your wall.
Your son is young... most people that have young kids on here (from what I have read) just tell their kids that mommy is going to go to the doctor so she can be healthier and more active. That way the kid feels like it benefits him in some way. :) He can help take care of you after you get back!!
Don't worry and don't fret -- the fears will pass... you'll have some buyers remorse AFTER surgery and then you'll be lovin' your new life!!
You have the pre-surgery jitters. TOTALLY normal. Alot will go thru your mind before surgery, it did for me. The week before surgery when I realized I had lost 18 pounds(was required to lose 10) I had thoughts of "Hey, I can lose weight" and then reality sunk in~ yeah, I have lost over and over but with each lose I got bigger and bigger. That is when I came to peace and KNEW there was only one choice for me to get healthier and thinner was to go forward with my surgery. And yep, I had a week or two of buyers remorse and that was it because when I started to get baggy close it was all SO WORTH it. Here I am now 2 years post op and wish I had done this alot sooner!!! I have maintained for a year now! I am so glad I did it!! BUT YOU need to come to peace with your decision~ usually what brought you to have surgery will be the reasons that will give you peace!!!
HUGS
HUGS
~Sandie~ 
-147!!WLS:12-12-06:Preop 268,Ht.5'4",BMI 44.9
Click on link to see my journey!!!
http://www.onetruemedia.com/my_shared?z=2bfaca5561a1d558fceb
87&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
"Do unto others as you'd have done to you"~ The Golden Rule to Live by!
You are what you EAT and WHO you hang out with! Choices=Outcome~ what's YOUR choice??
I'm not perfect but I am going to die trying!!!
hi d:
you've already gotten some really great advice. yes, it's normal to question if it's the right thing for you. that's why you review what brought you to this place in your life, and that's when you'll know whether the choice you made is the right one.
i'm wouldn't presume to say you should change your mind, d, but sometimes just knowing that you can back out if you want to will help you get through your wobblies.
prior post was also correct about the fears being right. it is a major life change. but once you go over why you decided to pursue it, i think you'll realize you've chosen well and you'll give it to God. at least that's what i did. almost 200 lbs and four years ago.
best of luck,d. we're here for you.
dorthe
you've already gotten some really great advice. yes, it's normal to question if it's the right thing for you. that's why you review what brought you to this place in your life, and that's when you'll know whether the choice you made is the right one.
i'm wouldn't presume to say you should change your mind, d, but sometimes just knowing that you can back out if you want to will help you get through your wobblies.
prior post was also correct about the fears being right. it is a major life change. but once you go over why you decided to pursue it, i think you'll realize you've chosen well and you'll give it to God. at least that's what i did. almost 200 lbs and four years ago.
best of luck,d. we're here for you.
dorthe
DORTHEAGING IS INEVITABLE
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL!
Hi D,
Welcome to the boards!!!!! You have come to the right place sweetie. We have all had these feelings. I had my surgery 1 year ago and my son was 4 when I had mine. He knew mommy had surgery and that mommy needed lots of help and he was wonderful. Once they see you and how slow you move, they understand. They are way smarter than what we give them credit for. My boy helped around the house for a long time until he realized I felt better and I could do it. Of course I wouldn't tell him I was better the more they did and the less I had to do was okay with me......LOLOLOL but they were great. Also when the see the weight melting off and how much energy you have they are so excited. I have done so much more with my kids than ever. I would have the surgery again in a heartbeat!!!!!!!!!!!! The feelings you are having are normal we all had them. Just remember this is your decision and no one elses. Do what you feel you need to reguardless of what anyon says. YOU know what you need to do and whats best for you. GOOD LUCK to you sweetie and keep us posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hugs Marsha
Welcome to the boards!!!!! You have come to the right place sweetie. We have all had these feelings. I had my surgery 1 year ago and my son was 4 when I had mine. He knew mommy had surgery and that mommy needed lots of help and he was wonderful. Once they see you and how slow you move, they understand. They are way smarter than what we give them credit for. My boy helped around the house for a long time until he realized I felt better and I could do it. Of course I wouldn't tell him I was better the more they did and the less I had to do was okay with me......LOLOLOL but they were great. Also when the see the weight melting off and how much energy you have they are so excited. I have done so much more with my kids than ever. I would have the surgery again in a heartbeat!!!!!!!!!!!! The feelings you are having are normal we all had them. Just remember this is your decision and no one elses. Do what you feel you need to reguardless of what anyon says. YOU know what you need to do and whats best for you. GOOD LUCK to you sweetie and keep us posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hugs Marsha
Hi there! Just as everyone else has said its normal to have the mixed emotions running through you during this time before surgery. Continue to think of the reasons why you wanted the surgery and focus on those reasons. I worried to about my son and what he would be thinking. He did a great job! We as parents need to give our kids more credit. I stressed for nothing. During this time if you need support or encouragement I strongly suggest attending a coffee to get more feedback from others who have been there, or are going through what you are now!!
Wishing you all the best!!
Wishing you all the best!!
God Bless, Angela 
"You can't love if you don't love yourself"
"You can't love if you don't love yourself"
Yup, you're normal. Which doesn't make where you're at emotionally any EASIER, just know that it's normal.
Come to OH as often as you need reassurance. Scroll through the befores and afters, and read the profiles of those that really catch your attention. It is SUCH a good way to re-affirm that you are doing this for all the right reasons.
Speaking of which, your son needs his mommy for a LONG time. In the greater scheme of things, a week is diddly. And when your weight loss becomes apparent to him, you'll KNOW you did the right thing.
If you want to see a counselor pre-op, see if PNC can get you in to one of theirs that works with the bariatric intake process - I would believe they'd have a better grasp on the whole thing than you might think.
And come to coffee. I can't think of anyone that has ever regretted THAT move.
Come to OH as often as you need reassurance. Scroll through the befores and afters, and read the profiles of those that really catch your attention. It is SUCH a good way to re-affirm that you are doing this for all the right reasons.
Speaking of which, your son needs his mommy for a LONG time. In the greater scheme of things, a week is diddly. And when your weight loss becomes apparent to him, you'll KNOW you did the right thing.
If you want to see a counselor pre-op, see if PNC can get you in to one of theirs that works with the bariatric intake process - I would believe they'd have a better grasp on the whole thing than you might think.
And come to coffee. I can't think of anyone that has ever regretted THAT move.
Imperfect does not = unsuccessful
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