Weight gain

I need a big kick in the @$$! I'm almost 3 ½ years out and went from a size 28 to 12 (I was an 8) so you can see where I'm going with this. I had lost over 120lbs and was feeling great and looking great and now I've gained. My lowest I was 162 and now I hover around 187. I'm so mad at myself for letting this happen and I feel like such a failure again. Christmas was just wonderful with my mom staying that it looks like a gained weight again and that I better watch what I'm eating or I'll be back to 300 lbs in no time. I know that it's my fault and I need to change but I was reading so of the posts and there are people that could drink water all day and not eat, so could I but mine would have to be coffee. I'm addicted and honestly I can't stop. I don't sleep because of all the coffee and it's not the plain dark stuff either it's the good **** with choc and caramel form Caribou. The last 38 days I have spent over $325.00 at Caribou alone, plus I have a machine at home and I buy the stuff some caribou and make my own at home. I thought about counseling but I don't have time I leave for work at 5:30 in the morning and don't get home until 4:00 and I have to pick the kids up by 5:00 (my husband works afternoons so I have the kids all night) I could leave work early a few times but I can't leave once or twice a week for this. My husband see this as no big problem but would like me to cut back on the coffee (financial reasons) but says that he can't tell that I have gained weight. My clothes are getting tight again and I won't buy anything larger since I need and want to lose again. Seeing the doctor won't help either, it's me that needs to change. I told the doc when I had the surgery I just wanted my mouth stappled shut but he didn't and now look what's happening. Really this isn't a sob story but I really need to know that I'm not the only one out there that has gained since their surgery. I really thought that I would never be over a size 10-12 again my entire life and I'm scared that I failed this too. Any ideas

Wow - Tammy, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.  I understand the frustration - although I haven't yet reached my hoped-for "low", I have been stuck within the 4 pounds I'm treading in for several months. 

First question.  In your good **** coffee, is the chocolate and caramel sugar free?  If not, start by switching to SF.  It surprises me how easily I made the switch and don't miss the sugar. That right there will help lower your calorie intake.

The financial impact of your coffee addiction would have me terribly concerned!  Another coffee-addicted friend of mine has tried to make her own more than buying the expensive ones.  If you're drinking more than one a day (sure seems you must be!), limit yourself to one a day.  Then drop to one every other day.  Me, I allow myself one per week, with few exceptions.  If it helps to motivate you to limit the lattes, think of some other "reward" you can give yourself for cutting back on the Caribou $$!  Shoot - at that rate, you could take yourself shopping, or for a day at a spa, or a little vacation, in NO TIME!

Gaining 25 pounds from your low, as upset as you are about it, IS NORMAL.  If you hate it, remind yourself of the WLS habits you had to adopt right after surgery.  TRY to practice them once again, and see if it doesn't help you.

And come here more for support.  I understand the time limitations myself, there just aren't enough hours in the day.  But I CAN get on OH for some TLC just about every day!

Best of luck you you, hon...

Wow  alls I can do is send you a big ole hug.... We all make mistakes, it's a part of life.  Try and cut back if ya can I know it's easier said than done.  Know that we are here for ya...
Hugs to you sweetie  Marsha

Hi, Tammy - I can relate.  I am also almost 31/2 yrs out (Aug 2005).  My lowest was 153 for 1 day, but I stayed at 155 for over a year.  Then I added carbs, and went to 160.  I was 172 Friday at the Dr's office.  I am really angry with myself - I have been snacking and eatin ALL the wrong things.  Cookies in the house?  I eat them.  Candy?  I eat it.  Always in little amts, but many little amts in the day.  I have cancelled my gym membership (no time, too expensive & we have a free one at work. ) Do I go>? No.  I too need a swift kick!  I know I am not 260 anymore, but I went from a 24 to a 10/12.  My Christmas gifts were 14s and larges rather than 12s & meds.  You are not alone.  I am aiming to get back to basics and stick to it.  Water first ( I am addicted to tea - especially iced tea - but I usually amake my own).  Anyway - you are not alone.  Feel free to email me!  Good luck to us both!
Hugs,
Laura

What you are going through is one of my biggest fears.  With the holidays many of us may have tested the waters (or completly fallen off the dock) which can be that slippery slope we hoped to avoid.  Get back on that horse.  Today, tomorrow or Jan. 1....pick a date, get your head in the right place, take control of your environment (clean out the cupboards & fridge), and....TAKE BACK CONTROL.
You can do it.

Tammy,
My suggestion is ONE THING AT A TIME!!!!!    I too found the hollidays to be very scary and am first going to get rid of those carbs/sugars that crept in.  After that I will deal with my coffee addiction.  I always get half caffinated and feel that the milk is good protein and that justifies me waiting to deal with the coffee problem until later.   ( I do the skinny latte's with SF syrup.)  I am guessing you do the SF stuff too? 
I also bought a book called, "How to kick start your weight loss"  It is put out by the bariatric support center.  It is exactly for your situation.   In general it says less than 20 carbs a day and tons of protein.  Exercise............
Let us know how you are doing...what your plan is!!!!!    You will be fine.  Thanks for sharing and for your honesty.  We all learn from your post!    Let that tool help you!   It wants to! 

Maybe try something like the 5-day pouch test to get back to basics?  I haven't done it, but I've read about others doing it, and it sounds like it works in the short term.  As far as the coffee thing, what about having an allowance?  If you only have so much money at your discretion, using all of it for coffee might not be so great because you might want to spend it on other things.   I really think most "normal" people who weren't obese actually have to monitor their weight and gain the occasional 10-20 lbs, and then have to lose it again.  I read the book "Exodus from Obesity" and it struck me how the author never lets her weight go up more than 2 lbs because she was worried about going back.  She had a sad story, and lost a sister to obesity, so I think she was very strong in her commitment.  Good luck getting back on track! 

Well, I applaud you for coming here and posting about this. I think that is the first step in a "recovery".

Tammy, we've all been here to support you and I've seen you post many times you're going to go to a coffee gathering and I'm not sure if you have, but I do think those weekends are vital to your overall success quite honestly. I know it takes a time committment on a Saturday morning but the support at those are just incredible. And it allows YOU time, which is also important during this process IMO.

I like what Lisa Joy said about pick one thing and start there. We tend to want to improve everything right away, but that is actually very difficult. If you maybe make a list of things you want to improve on and put them in priority, then take one for a week or two or a month even and then go to the next one when you feel ready.

I also like what Renee said about the 5 day pouch test because I've heard it works. You can find more on that at www.http://5daypouchtest.com/ and the RNY forum board.
Also, the book she mentions is a very good read! If you post about that in a separate post on here, I'm sure you will find a copy floating around - about a year ago it was floating around on a loan it and pass it on basis.

Now that you've come here to admit this, I hope you'll take into consideration what everyone has said and move forward with a plan of action! I believe you can do this, Tammy!!!

Come to the board though often so we can see how you're progressing and help keep you on track if needed, okay?!

I am feeling the same way about my weight too.  I am almost 2 years out and I have gained back 13 pounds in the last couple months.  It is like I am falling back into the old habits that put me in this position in the first place.  I know it is hard to find time for yourself.  But you have to make the time.  I am the same way and use the same excuses.  I just decided to see a couselor myself.  Made and appt for Jan 6th.  Hopefully talking to someone will help me get back on track.  I also want to get involved in a support group.  I tried one in St Louis park and everyone seemed very helpful.  have you tried support groups?  that might be a good option too.

Good luck to you and hang in there.  You are definetly not alone!

I have not experienced this yet so it is good to hear your concerns and all the great replies.  I like what the others are suggesting, they make sense.

You have now beat yourself up about this, so now it is time to FORGIVE yourself and continue on the track you learned 3 1/2 years ago.  Think of ALL the great things you could do for yourself and/or your family with the $300 coffee savings. You could buy a WiiFit and I bet your kids would enjoy it too.  Find someone that will hold you accountable, maybe that will help.

Good luck -- I know if you really want this, you WILL do it!!