I pose this question to you..

I think you have a good point that someone's perfect may not be your perfect... but I disagree that "if they are negative self-talking and saying they are imperfect..." IMO, just because someone says they are imperfect, doesn't mean it's negative self talk. I think it's realistic. In the eyes of religious people, the only perfect being is God or Jesus... so we are, in that aspect, imperfect. I think imperfect is often used in a positive light... to empower yourself to NOT beat yourself up about things. That's just my thought on it.

I guess a good two cents would be fun.  Use any word you like to set your goals every day!!  Being perfect today may mean something else tomrrow.  I look at being perfect as following the WLS rules my program has in place. I'm not perfect every day!!!  As Linda was saying her "perfect" is doing all the right things to be succesessfull for that day, week, month, year.  Perfect is just a word to motivate some people to be succsessful. Just like fantastic could also mean great.  It's just a word that describes how well any individual may feel, see, about ones self.  enough blabbering.  I've had a perfect day so far today!!!!  I went to coffee to get my support, had my vitamins, water, exercise and protein so far.  I feel great and not to be vain I am great!!!

Love you all for challenging yourselfs to be the best u can be!!!!! 

I agree that there is no such thing as perfect, except in the eyes of the beholder.  What may be perfect TO ME (whether we're discussing WLS or home furnishings, it hardly matters...) will absolutely NOT apply to others - we are all different, we really do have to agree to disagree.  One person's opinion, regardless of how RIGHT it seems to them, will not suit everyone. 

You can strive to be perfect every day - I admire you for it, and some days I may even be jealous of you for it.  But I'm not capable of it - if I was, I'd have never gotten obese in the first place.  So I strive to do my best, and forgive myself for the less than stellar choices I sometimes make. THAT'S what works for me.   Neither of us is more right than the other, we're doing what works for us as individuals.

I think the danger falls, in great part because of this medium, in perception.  Someone can offer an opinion as to how they believe this life should be lived, and without meaning to, it can be taken as offensive or judgemental - particularly by those who already struggle with issues of self esteem or other similar emotional stresses.  So it's up to the message sender to try to be as gentle as possible in the delivery of their opinion, if they care about how it's going to be taken.

But the old "you can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time" - well, there's a whole lotta truth in that.  So we can't worry TOO much about how others take every word we share, because we can't control it.  Some will breath it all in, while others might take great offense - to the very same comment.

I DO believe, however, that this board is FULL of OPINIONS, and precious few hard, cold facts.  And THAT is MY humble opinion.  If what we share here can not be taken as such, then sharing any thoughts becomes dangerous.  None of us are authorities on WLS EXCEPT as it applies to our OWN journey.  What works for me won't work for everyone else.  What works for you won't work for everyone else.  Why judge?  Even the different programs have conflicts in the messages they share.  PNC recommends 3 glasses of milk each day.  Other programs forbid ANY calorie-containing beverages.  So who's right?  It's up to EACH of us to figure out what's right for US.  I'm a PNC patient.  I do not drink 3 glasses of milk each day (- I'd be living alone if I did!).  But I DO make certain that I get the liquids, protein and calcium that milk represents, in other ways.  Does that make me non-compliant?  Sort of.  But it works for ME.

I think that if we are concerned with how others react to the things we each share, then we need to read, re-read and consider HOW the things we share might be perceived BEFORE hitting submit button.  But who says ******g someone off is always a bad thing, anyway?  Sometimes, if someone takes offense at something, it's truly more THEIR issue, perhaps reflective of some guilt they are dealing with anyway.

And yes, this is ALL just MY humble opinion.

Wow, I see this stirred up a hornets nest.................For me, lol , I'm too lazy to be perfect, I think it's overrated.  But to each their own.  I tried perfect at one point in another weight loss journey and found it to be overrated, and pressure filled, like humpty dumpty found out, it's a long fall down from the wall when everyone looks to you for perfection.

You are so funny!!!!  Perfect -- ha ha.  But I "get" what you are saying.  The first eight months after my WLS surgery, I did everything according to the book.  NEVER varied away from the program even once.  I worked the tool the way I was suppose to and I did follow the program "perfectly and to the letter".   And because of that, I lost 111% of my excess weight and busted all the goals set up along the way.   I wanted to be healthy -- not a size 0, not 125 pounds, not the brunt of reverse discrimination.

Now in maintaining mode, it is up to me EVERY DAY to make choices to keep the weight off.   I'm certainly not perfect (except in my husband's eyes -- hee hee) at the WLS thing, but never said I was either.  But, like you, I don't start each day giving myself permission to know I won't be.  And because of this, I have many, many, many 'perfect' days where I did do it all right and the scale continues to acknowledge that.  For that I am very proud of myself and I will toot my own horn.  I work REALLY REALLY REALLY hard everyday to keep this up......

Okay -- 'nough said ---- la la la la la la la.....

I see this very simply... no one is perfect... hence, we are all doing this imperfectly.

If we were perfect, we would have gotten into this... if we were perfect, we would need to tweak daily (like you said, "OK today I could have done better..."). Hence... I think perfect and imperfect are just words. We are all doing this to the best of our ability. I don't think 'perfect' and 'imperfect' even make sense. I think the words mean something ABSOLUTELY different to every single person on this forum.

An interesting question to pose would be, "What is your definition of 'perfect' and 'imperfect'?" As soon as we get those answers... we will see exactly why there is deviation in our thoughts... and it will probably also show that we are all just trying to do the best we darn can on any given day.

 "Should one approach this as trying to do it perfectly everyday knowing ya might not get there but you have that standard.. or give yourself permission to know you wont be."

To me the difference between these two statements is- The first part being to set a perfect goal, all the while knowing you may not meet it, but may feel disappointed in yourself if you don't-  The second half admitting to yourself that if you don't meet the goals set for the day, you are still o.k.

As perfectly as we all would like to be- I agree with all above who have said we would not be here if we were able to be perfect.  And Amy said it beautifully- There is only One that is truly perfect, and I praise and thank Him each day for the blessings He has given me.

Personally I do my best, and when things do not go as planned, I usually pick myself up and know that tomorrow is another day- IMHO, this does not mean I am less dedicated to my WLS journey, It is just my approach.  To each their own, but true perfection, even in just the smallest of aspects is not likely attainable on a permanant basis.  Not a bad goal, but sad if one were to beat themself up for not achieving the unachievable.

Being honest to one's self and doing your best is all any one could every ask of any of us.

AWESOME POST!!!!!  I sooooo understand what you are saying!!!  It's not a matter of whether you are perfect or not but striving to be the best you can be!!
THIS SHOULD NOT CAUSE DIVISION!!!  And I see it has.  On that note I will say this:
If you have been angered by this I challenge you to find out why!  And then fix it!  WE ALL should want to be the best we can!  I 100% agree that each one of us should strive to be "perfect"!!!!
HUGS

So I'm really late to the game as my reading has fallen behind other things in life.  However, I feel the need to add my voice to the conversation.

First, perfect is defined (per Merriam-Webster) as a.'being entirely without fault or defect, b. satisfying all requirements, c. corresponding to an ideal requirement or abstract concept, d. faithfully reproducing the original, e. legally valid.'  That's a lot to consider and ponder. 

If I attempt to be without fault or defect, then that would have to entail more than just the use of my tool, but everything in my life.  And I do not strive for or believe that being without fault or defect would gain me happiness.  So in that sense, I do not approach to do this perfectly everyday knowing that I cannot ever obtain perfection.

If I attempt to satisfy all requirements or correspond to an ideal requirement or abstract concept, then that would be something that I can and do strive for daily.  Within my life and style, I have daily requirements of taking my vitamins, drinking my water, being active, caring for my children, finding time to enjoy things that bring me happiness.  So in this sense, I do strive, and achieve perfection often.  When I do not, then I evaulate my failings and learn from them to have them not repeated.

For the last two definitions, they do not apply to a way that I would want to tailor my life and goals that are not encompassed in either the first or second definition.

I know that this thread has caused division, but it is something that is a good conversation starter.  This community and forum are great for the conversation of our health and wellness.  For some, it is a lifeline to others with similar life views and experiences.  For me, it is an important conversation among many different opinions who have had similar life experiences as there are probably not many with similar life views.  And it is those different opinions and voices that make us special, important, and connected.  Let the conversation continue.

TWO WORDS ---  THANK YOU!!!

XXOO