Fear--I'm freaking out

I'm having trouble and need support if you can give it. (I'm taking a risk posting this so please don't tell what I'm feeling is wrong. There has to be people out there who have had the same issues. Also, I see a therapist weekly and I go to a bi-weekly bariatric therapy group.)

I am just about 8 weeks out. I am terrified of failing. I'm fearful not to go to the gym. I'm fearful of not eating correctly. I'm afraid I'm just going to stop losing weight and it will all come back. The facilator of my therapy group talked about a few women she knew that stopped losing weight a month out. I'm afraid my life is not going to change. I'm afraid that if I do get thinner, I still won't be attractive to men. I'm afraid I will still be invisible.

I swear I'm doing everything I can and I'm just still afraid. I'm on an antidepressant. I do meditation. I've done dialectical behavior therapy which teaches you coping skills and I usually work them pretty well.

Please tell me this is the hormones.

Did anyone else feel this way on their journey?

Anna

I was going to say hormones before I even read down that far on your post.

Yes, there are people who fail their tool.  The tool doesn't fail them, THEY fail their tool.  So dedicate yourself to respecting your tool and continuing to do right by it - you won't fail.  

I AM a big believer in forgiving ourselves when we mess up - because everyone defines that for themselves.   If you find yourself being "compulsive" about anything, missing a day of exercise, making not-so-great food choices once in a while, I believe you HAVE to forgive yourself.  Seems to me if you beat yourself up excessively, THEN you're setting yourself up for failure.  This is not a race, it's for the rest of your life.  You have each and every day to practice your new WLS life.

And the weight loss WILL stop - and start, and stop again, and start up again... your body needs to adjust to the lost weight, and will continue to drop inches and snug up during those times when you aren't actively losing pounds.  It's NORMAL.  So are the hormones.  Give yourself a good dose of positive self-talk and you'll make it through!

(p.s.   read your signature quote...)

I thought of you yesterday Darla. One of my cats pooped on my scale for some reason. I thought you would think she had the right idea!

  LMAO!!!   Why, oh WHY do I find such humor in bodily functions???


 


Wait...  cat poop made you think of ME???    (hehehe...  it IS funny!)

"Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness."

"Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood."

Two wonderful quotes for you to consider...

Mindfulness, in my opinion, fights fear. If you stay mindful of what you are doing in this journey - track your progress, take photos, realign your wheels when they get off track, you will FIGHT fear.

I think we all come into this journey with SOME fear. We all have tried and tried and failed and failed... and that is why we all ended up here... with this NEW solution FULL OF HOPE.

So every time you feel those fears, close your eyes, remember the HOPE you felt when you made this decision, and be MINDFUL of your journey every day.

Anna - It sounds like you're doing all the right things. Therapy, medication, meditation.  I hope in time you'll gain more and more confidence in yourself and your ability to lose the weight, get to your goal and stay there. With that, I hope your fears subside.  Keep doing what you're doing, look how far you've come already!  

I found when I was trying to get pregnant for 2 years, those thoughts of "I'm never gonna get pregnant" "this isn't going to work" etc wouldn't leave my head.  I bought a cd that I listened to nightly as I was going to sleep that had positive thoughts. (I'll spare the men what specifically it said)  But, I wonder if something similar might be helpful to you if it was more along the lines of being successful, achieving your goals/dreams, etc.

I'm glad you decided to post about your fears, and hope you get some great feedback to help you feel a little better.

Thanks, Kristy. I am now amusing myself with thoughts of what that CD said.

Big Hugs Hun!  Hope You are feeling better! I too had fears, worries ect.- Admiting it is the first step and it looks like you are seeking more help so- Best Wishes!!!

Anna-

Your fears are normal!  I think that is the type of fear that we all have to work through at some point.  Much of it is hormones, and much of it is the old tape that plays that says, "why will it work this time??" 

Remember each day when you get up that this is a new LIFESTYLE, not just another "diet" olan.  It takes time to adjust to new habits (like exercise) and not have them take over your world.  I agree with Darla about forgiving yourself if you don't make it to the gym or eat a "not as good" food choice.  WE ARE HUMAN!!!

I have faith that you will continue to rock your tool and continue to reach for the stars.  As for not being invisible- I have never been visible so I can't be much help there!!

Keep the faith!

Reenie

Anna,

I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time.  I can only imagine what you are going through since I haven't had the surgery yet.  I like what everyone had to say...keep faith, positive attitude & self talk.  Keep sharing your feelings with people you feel comfortable with...don't keep them inside.  Surround yourself with people who make you feel good too!

Will you be at coffee Saturday?

Take care of you...I'm around all day tomorrow if you need anything - call me.

Stephanie