I finally did it!

I've posted before about my frustrations with a particular male co-worker of mine.  EVERY TIME I SEE HIM, he starts talking about how I'm doing, how hard it must be to follow the WLS rules all the time, how his SIL has gained all her weight back and is so sick all the time... yada, yada, yada.

Well, today when he came in, I TRIED to steer the conversation towards what projects he's working on, the beautiful weather today, ANYTHING but my WLS.  But no, he found a way to weave it into the conversation, and started in again about his SIL... 

So I just did it.  I said to him "you know what?  I don't mean to be rude, because I TRULY DO APPRECIATE your interest in my weight loss, but - can we talk about things OTHER THAN my weight loss surgery?  I don't want it to be the only thing that defines me."  I don't remember EXACTLY what all I said after that, I was kind of on a roll of trying to make my point while being as gracious as possible.  After his initial shock and apology (which I told him wasn't necessary), he THANKED me for calling it to his attention - because he truly hadn't realized he was doing that!   We had a nice conversation, then my phone rang. 

When I finished up on the phone, he came back over and said "you know, that was a really amazing thing you just did, calling that to my attention - I'm sure it wasn't easy, and I appreciate you caring enough about our relationship to make me aware of what I was doing". 



So now I anticipate it being awkward for a while, as he tries to come up with OTHER things to talk about with me - this has gone on for a year and a half already, so it's going to be a bit clumsy, I'm sure.  I'm just SO RELIEVED to have found the courage to confront the thing that was making it SO UNCOMFORTABLE to be around this man!  

 What a gracious wonder woman you are!  Way to go!

RP

Good Job Darla!  Way to be Brave!

Well-done, Darla.  Sounds like you were very tactful and got what you needed.  It can be hard to set boundaries sometimes. 

Kristen

That is very cool!  I remember you posting about it a while ago.   I love it when we muster up the courage to do something difficult, and do it graciously, and it works out!  Thanks for sharing!

You are very brave!  I'm glad he was very understanding!!!

Please, he really wants to wear your shoes.

No, not do your job, but WEAR YOUR SHOES

YOU, my dear Juiceman, have OBVIOUSLY never seen MY shoes!!!  (They are NOT the stuff of kinky male dreams...)

I'm still waiting for YOU to hear back on your approval!!!?!!  

Darla, Sweetums, you truly are awesome!  
Had it been me in your situation,  I probably would not have been so tactful.  Just ain't in me...

Have a wonderful weekend! 
Hey wait---it's not Friday...sure seems like it, not having a job to give definition to the weekdays.  The temperature is awesome, tho--hit 80*F!!!

((((HUGS)))) and
**SUE**

It sounds like he really took it well and understands your position now.  I think you handled it very gracefully.  Way to go!