How did you tell/explain the surgery to your kids?

My oldest is 13 and my two youngest are 6 and 3, how did you explain your surgery or keep your kids from jumping on you, etc.. after surgery?

Your oldest will understand the details, have a conversation with him/her apart from the younger ones and just be honest and ask if he/she has any questions.  Most likey he/she will support you.  The 3 year old will not understand the details but will sense something is going down.  Be sensitive to those feelings and say something like mommy is going to see a doctor and will need your help when she comes home.  He/she will thrive on being mommy's helper and will probably not be so concerned with surgery.   You can certainly preteach your kids that mommy's tummy is going to have owies and you have to be gentle.   The 6 year old will need the most help in this process, (but can also give the most help and run interference with 3 year old).  If 13 year old and dad(?) can show support, the 6 year old will adapt  those vibes. 

Refrain from words that can be fearful to a 6 year old...it is not helpful.  Mommy is going to get more healthy and learn to eat more healthy things...will you help me?  Play the I will need your help when I come home card with the 6 year old too.  Make sure that your 13 year old also refrains from trying to explain it to the younger ones.  It will all make sense to them later and eventually it won't even be a subject as it will fade into your history.  Family support is very important and children are wonderful helpers in the first few days.

Diane,

I have kids that range from 14-4...I talked explicitly to my older two (14 &11), and told them
1. Daddy's in an unhealthy state, and i know you know it and so do I; I am doing something that will help me be healthy forever
2. What it means is going forward, I'll never eat candy (sugar), or carbonated stuff, or cake or ice cream (etc...)  And, I'm ok with that because I want to be healthy.  It also means I'll be exercizing 5 times a week at least--we can even do some of that together.
3.  I showed them the Discovery Channel's 3-part video on YouTube of Gil Gerard (Buck Rodgers actor from '70s)  It shows a Mini-Gastric Bypass which is a modified RNY, but that didn't matter because I was showing them the transformation of this morbidly obese man into a much healthier active person.  The kids closed their eyes during the brief surgery footage (a few seconds).
 video part 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkvujuQyX5o
video part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQt9d2Xo2LU&feature=related
video part 3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7SRAgfQs5k&feature=related

After watching this, my kids said that they think this is a great idea for me and that they support it and they'd even help keep me on track.   I reinforced this process with them by explaining: the first 41 years of my life I lived one way--and I enjoyed it; the second 41 years of my life I am going to live my life another way and love it even more---just a little differently.

To my 4 and 8 year old, I explained that Daddy is going to have a doctor help me to lose some weight so I can be healthy and do more fun things with my kids and my family.  I'll have to go to the hospital for two days but then I'll be back home and I won't steal their candy anymore!!

This video has also helped me when talking with family and friends.  It is important to have the full discussion about what you have considered, what you have learned and what the process is.  If you just give the your audience the punchline of "I'm having WLS...", they'll not fully understand the scenario and the commitment you have.  Neither will the person/s have the understanding of how much thought you have given to this decision.

I've read many of your earlier posts and I hope you can come to one of the Saturday coffees in Burnsville or Eagan.  If not, it's nice to meet you online.

Dan

My girls were 3 and 6 at the time. I told them that the dr was going to put a camera in my tummy to make sure everything was working well and to help me be healthy. At the time it was enough for them to know why I was at the hospital overnight and why they couldn't climb up on my lap for a while after surgery. (Althought my 6 yr old's eyes got very wide as she looked at my tummy and said "How is he going to get a camera in there?!" Of course she was thinking about the size of our 35mm digi cam! LOL )

Since then, they know all about my band. In fact, my 4 yr old loves to look at my surgery pics (yes, I have pics of my band) and always asks if I'm eating slowly enough because "you don't want to get stuck and throw up." It has been a great way for me to teach them about healthy foods and getting exercise.

Good luck to you, Diane!