1 year ago today...

I can't believe that today is my one year surgiversary! It doesn't seem like it has been a year at all. Time really flew. Every day I am so thankful that I decided to have WLS, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Yesterday Star Jones was on Oprah talking about her gastric bypass surgery and it was hard for me to watch because honestly I didn't or couldn't relate to her. Which I am finding that it is often the case for me. When it comes to others that I know that have had surgery. Yes, I can relate on some level, but sometimes it is hard for me.

Yes, I had surgery because I was morbidily obese, but I had been the size I was for YEARS and YEARS and YEARS. I am not going to say I had surgery because I was going to die if I didn't do something about my weight. Yes that is probably a true statement, but I wasn't going to die tomorrow from my weight, well I might have, but *****ally knows. Star had said that her doctor told her "You are going to die" in my whole adult life of being 350+ pounds not one of my many doctors ever once said anything about my weight...EVER! Obviously, I knew my weight wasn't healthy and was limiting me from doing a lot of things, but no one of "authority" never said anything about it in a way that made me really want to do something about it.

I can honestly say that it wasn't until I had Stella and realized how much I COULDN'T do because of my weight that I decided to start the process to have surgery. It still makes me cry just thinking about it. I didn't want to be that mom sitting on the bench at the park because I was too big to actually "play" with my daughter, it wasn't fair to her. I knew I couldn't lose the weight on my own and I knew I needed to be around for Stella above all else! So I did it. And now that she is 2 and running around like a crazy girl, I know I did the right thing. So many little things, being able to let her ride on my bag, being able to hold her for more than 5 minutes, being able to actually run with her, being able to race with her so many things that I know a year ago I couldn't do.

It is all so amazing to me. I still have to look at myself in a mirror every time I walk by one. I can't believe that in a year I have lost 128 pounds. That's 128 pounds that last year I was just carry around with me all of the time every day. It is so crazy. Obviously, my body has changed but so has my health. I can walk up a few flights of stairs and not feel like I am going to die, I can sleep a lot better, I don't get up to go to the bathroom 100 times a day, I can actually work out and keep up with the work out, I can walk a mile on my treadmill in less than 15 minutes (that is big for me, it used to take me almost 45 minutes). I am so much more active than I have ever been.

I am a size I have NEVER been. I am wearing a size that I have never worn in my life. I have lost tons of inches, well many not tons, but you know. Here where my measurements last summer:
6/6/2008
Waist - 53
Bust - 47.5
Chest - 51
Hips - 59
Thigh - 32.5
knee - 22.5

Then I took them today:
waist - 42
bust - 41
chest - 40
Hips - 50
thigh - 24.5
knee - 18.5

I just can't believe what a difference those inches make. There are so many doors that have been opened up for me that I kept closed because of my weight. I can now fit in booths at resturants, I can fit in a movie seat comfortable, I can wear my seat belt in my car, I can fit on one cushion on a couch, I can run, I can keep up with Stella, I can share clothes with my sister, Don can actually put his hand all the way around me when he hugs me, I actually have to wear a belt every day, I can fit into an XL mens shirt (there was a time when I wore a 4XL mens shirt), I can wear a size 20 pants (I was wearing a size 28 or 30 before surgery), I don't have to shop at only "plus size" stores. I guess I could go on and on.

As far as eating after surgery, I have to say for me, it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be, but I have to say I made sure that is wouldn't be. I was determined to not be or get depressed about what I couldn't eat any more. I have to say, yes I probably ate things I shouldn't have in the begining, but I refused to "scared" of food. I refused to single myself out and gatherings because I couldn't eat everything that everyone else was, I REFUSED! I went to every gathering, went to every night out dinner, went to every birthday party, I just ate differently. I still ate, I just didn't eat certain things. Yes I would have cake, but one a bite, which was enough for me. I can honestly say I eat most of the same things I ate before surgery, but just A LOT less of it. The surgery has helped me with portion control, which was BIGGEST issue when it came to food. Don't get me wrong, it isn't roses and sunshine all of the time. I still have my bad days, I still dump on certain things. There are days when nothing seems to want to work and days when EVERYTHING seems to work just fine. I can honestly say that the only thing that really bums me out that I can't eat right now is ketchup! I still can't eat it. I don't know what it is, but every time I have it I feel soooo sick. I love ketchup so this one has been hard for me, but it has now been a year and I survived so I guess I will be ok. 
 
Anyway, enough about that. I just had to post about it. My life was good last year, but now being more healthy and more active and more "a part" of my life I can say life is so much better!

 

 

Congratulations on your anniversary and the successes!  Thank you for sharing your story.  It's inspirational to those of us that are early out in this process.  Dolly

Thanks and your welcome. I know for me I didn't really hear the "good" side of surgery when I was newly post up. I think that is what made me work harder to not let the surgery or the fact that my life would change affect me in a negative way, I didn't want to be another "horror" story about how horrible things can be. Don't be wrong, sometimes it sucks when I eat something that doesn't agree with me, but it happens, I feel like crap, I feel better, and tomorrow is another day!

Thanks so much for sharing your story, you are a great example for us newbies. I am a week out from surgery and looking forward to so many of the things you mentioned!! Thanks for being an inspiration!!!

Congratulations on one year!!!  Thank you for sharing your story. It brings tears to my eyes hearing the emotion in your words. Your Stella will thank you someday for thinking of yourself and her (and someday grandchildren), because the decision you made will help you stick around for a few extra years. 

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing all your thoughts with us!  It sounds like you're in a really good place in life, emotionally and all.  I have to say, I couldn't agree with you more on not denying yourself those things that you ate pre-op, as long as they don't make you sick (sorry about the ketchup!  For me, it's bing cherries!) .  I've tried pretty much everything, and I'm glad that I can still enjoy the taste of anything I want, without GORGING myself on it!  THAT is the big difference! 

You say Stella is 2 years old.  It occured to me that she'll never know or remember the "obese" mommy that had her!  She may see photos of you when she was first born, but she won't recognize you that way - ponder THAT for a while! 

CONGRATS on your healthier life!!

Thanks! I do feel like am in a really good place emotionally and that wasn't an easy place to get to, but I am there and it feels good.

I have thought about the fact that Stella will never know about the person I was when I had her. In a way I am happy about that, because I wouldn't be the same mom I am today if I were still that person! My husband even made a comment yesterday about how he doesn't even remember being as "big" as I was. I don't realize it either until I see pictures. It is such a great feeling to see how far I have come.

Congratualtions and Happy Surgiversary!!

You are doing a great job...wooohooo!!

Hugs....connie d

You have come a long way and really done an amazing job with your tool! WAY TO GO!