I'm back!!!
Hi everyone! I am finally back and feeling much better. Thank you to all who gave me well wishes, visited me in the hospital, and sent me cards. That really helped lift my spirits. Some of you know my story and some may not yet. So, I feel I must share with you all (if not only to be accountable, but also to help others who may face the same thing).
Well, close to a year ago my mom passed away. Things were very stressful around the time of her diagnosis of cancer until the time of her passing/funeral. I couldn't turn to food anymore with my new little pouch (though I wanted to badly). So, I turned to alcohol. It started out slowly (one to two drinks after work) but gradually increased. I thought I was in control until I met my now ex Mike. Every time we'd get together we would drink. There was always wine in his or my fridge. That's when I noticed I was drinking more heavily. But I chose to ignore it. Well, I hit rock bottom after Mike broke up with me (he couldn't handle my anxiety attacks). The wine was VERY abundant at my house and I was calling in sick to work. My sister figured something was wrong and drove from Tennessee to my house in Minnesota to make sure I was okay. Of coarse, when she got here, she found all the empty boxes of wine and brought me straight to detox. I was there for four days. I had all intentions to go home and drink again. I wasn't ready. But I told my sister that I was done and continued to say I was okay every time she called. When the phone company turned off my phone (because I hadn't paid the bill), my sister got worried. She called my best friend Bridget to go check up on me. Bridget was relentless and ringing the doorbell until I answered it (I was hoping she would think I wasn't home and avoided her for about 1/2 hour). I finally grew upset and went downstairs. She could tell I was still drunk. After a long conversation with her (and my sister over the phone) I agreed to go back in. It really hit me when Bridget said, "I want my friend back". And my sister was so angry at me. I felt such shame and didn't like that feeling. So, off to detox I went. But this time I agreed to do inpatient treatment after I was done with detox. I was in the hospital for close to four months. WOW!
So, this is my transfer addiction. I am doing much better now and am continueing with out patient treatment and AA. I will never forget the look on Bridget's face and the words my sister said to me. That is what keeps me going. It's going to be a struggle; but I am strong and can do this. I thought I should share this in case it will help someone else on the MN OH boards.
Thanks again!!!
Lori
Well, close to a year ago my mom passed away. Things were very stressful around the time of her diagnosis of cancer until the time of her passing/funeral. I couldn't turn to food anymore with my new little pouch (though I wanted to badly). So, I turned to alcohol. It started out slowly (one to two drinks after work) but gradually increased. I thought I was in control until I met my now ex Mike. Every time we'd get together we would drink. There was always wine in his or my fridge. That's when I noticed I was drinking more heavily. But I chose to ignore it. Well, I hit rock bottom after Mike broke up with me (he couldn't handle my anxiety attacks). The wine was VERY abundant at my house and I was calling in sick to work. My sister figured something was wrong and drove from Tennessee to my house in Minnesota to make sure I was okay. Of coarse, when she got here, she found all the empty boxes of wine and brought me straight to detox. I was there for four days. I had all intentions to go home and drink again. I wasn't ready. But I told my sister that I was done and continued to say I was okay every time she called. When the phone company turned off my phone (because I hadn't paid the bill), my sister got worried. She called my best friend Bridget to go check up on me. Bridget was relentless and ringing the doorbell until I answered it (I was hoping she would think I wasn't home and avoided her for about 1/2 hour). I finally grew upset and went downstairs. She could tell I was still drunk. After a long conversation with her (and my sister over the phone) I agreed to go back in. It really hit me when Bridget said, "I want my friend back". And my sister was so angry at me. I felt such shame and didn't like that feeling. So, off to detox I went. But this time I agreed to do inpatient treatment after I was done with detox. I was in the hospital for close to four months. WOW!
So, this is my transfer addiction. I am doing much better now and am continueing with out patient treatment and AA. I will never forget the look on Bridget's face and the words my sister said to me. That is what keeps me going. It's going to be a struggle; but I am strong and can do this. I thought I should share this in case it will help someone else on the MN OH boards.
Thanks again!!!
Lori
Thank you Lori for sharing your story I hope it helps others out there that might be struggling with transfer addictions. My parents both former addicts turned chemical dependency counselors I grew up hearing about the struggles with alcohol and drug addictions and vowed not to ever go down that path (knowing I had an addictive personality) and although I never turned to drugs or alcohol, food ended up being my drug of choice. I didn't even realize how much an addiction it was for me until this surgery. I find it so hard sometimes to deal with anxiety without turning to food and I'm struggling with that now. I can see now how easy it would be to turn to something else to replace the comfort food gave. Many people don't often relate their overating to a compulsion or addiction and I think its an important thing for some of us to face. Thanks again for sharing and I wish you well on your journey of sobriety!!
Start 323 ~ Current 199 ~
Lori, sweetie, I know this has been a hellacious year for you, but I do believe you will come away a better, healthier person for having gone through it all. I'm sorry I didn't get down there to visit you, life is hectic - but I DO hope we can get together as you're able, stroll around Albertville, or just relax somewhere. My pool will be up in a couple of months, we can chat and crisp in the bright Hanover sun!!
(I think you were in close to four WEEKS tho, not months, right?)
Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS for taking your addiction by the horns, and you have my love and prayers to continue on the right path!
Hope to see you tonight???
(I think you were in close to four WEEKS tho, not months, right?)
Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS for taking your addiction by the horns, and you have my love and prayers to continue on the right path!
Hope to see you tonight???
Imperfect does not = unsuccessful
Sorry I didn't make it last night. My sister and dad are in town and I felt like I should spend time with them. It's okay that you didn't make it up there to visit me. I had a lot of visitors every Sunday. I will see you soon I hope. And I will definately crisp with you in your pool anytime.
Love ya!
Lori
Love ya!
Lori
Precious Lori!!! I am so glad to hear that you are out and have the outlook that you do. Praise to Bridgette & your sister because quite honestly, sometimes it is just easier to look the other way than to get involved, but they loved you enough to not back down. I admire them for that! And you are here, stronger than ever - and continuing to get even stronger, because they cared.
God bless you all, Lori!
Keep on fighting - YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!
God bless you all, Lori!
Keep on fighting - YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!
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