Get therapy, early and often.
It may sound a little goofy, but it's true.
I'm 2.5 years out. I've made so many good friends here and at PN support group and I've seen a lot of people have surgery. Some really successful, some with complications. Lots have had addiction transfer after surgery, lots have used substances to cope with the big changes, and lots have suffered depression and anxiety after surgery.
I've always had some depression, but depression and anxiety nailed me after surgery.
Right after surgery (first year or so):
I didn't know how to dress as I was losing weight. My clothes were always too big.
I didn't know how to deal with people knowing or not knowing about surgery.
I didn't know how to deal with people commenting or not commenting on my weight loss.
I got scared shopping in stores I had never shopped at before.
I was scared to try on a smaller size.
I looked at my before pictures and was totally embarrassed that I ever felt like I had looked good like that.
I tried to figure out what I could eat and what I couldn't. I threw up too much.
I got scared of not losing weight.
I got scared of plateaus.
I didn't know what to do with new people.
I didn't know what to do when strangers looked at me.
I felt embarrassed that I was so scared and couldn't just deal with it and be happy for myself.
I didn't know how to be social and/or I'd feel really self conscious, so I'd drink too much.
I got tired of talking about WLS so much.
I watched other WLS friends enter rehab, get divorced, file bankruptcy and got worried about what was going to happen to them. And me.
We talked about that stuff on the board and in support group and to each other. 
Shannin was my retail therapist and helped me with clothes and food and exercise. Farrah gave me pep talks. Sabrina and Sheree were my WLS friends at work. I had my support team! I LOVE my support team! 
Beyond all that I never thought to pay attention to:
How hard my childhood was.
My family of origin issues past and present.
My consistently bad taste in relationships, not standing up for myself and not being assertive about my boundaries. How angry I am with myself for not doing those things for so long. Still not feeling like I had the right to.
Setting goals and believing that I can do more than I realized.
Over extending myself in lots of ways because I was so damn excited about how different life was and I wanted to try everything.
Getting pissed off at doctors who finally paid attention to me and what I needed after all these years of trying who used to blame my weight and now had to really look into things and being furious at years of pain and illness that COULD have been taken care of before.
Really finding out how hard I am on myself about everything.
Realizing how much shame I have and how I had a hard time telling anyone about it.
See, it's not just about WLS issues, it's about the whole package. All the stuff physical (ack=hormones!) and mental that WLS heaps on is enough to break just about anyone. If you don't take care of yourself - the whole package - you could do a lot of damage. It can really, really hurt. If you feel bad, embarassed, ashamed or scared, make an appointment to see someone. Check in and bounce your thoughts off of someone who can be objective. Then make an appointment to see them a month later, and a month later, and a month later.
If you are fine, it does no harm. If you're not, it can do a world of good to have someone to be honest to, to listen, and to help you though. Maybe you can think about it like the doctor visits babies get the first year of life. When you get your new life, check in with someone who knows what's going on to make sure you're doing ok.
Yes, you should always continue follow up with your Bariatric surgeon's office, but a mental check is just as important.
Take a moment to check your insurance provider directory, find a therapist and make an appointment. It's OK to go in and say "Hi. I'm here because I'm about to go through (or have just gone through) something really big in my life and I'd like to find someone to work with in case I run into problems. Can we talk?" It's nothing more serious than that. You pay for insurance, you might as well use it. You'll leave that office with a name and a number and a face to call if things get rough. It's not a golden ticket, but it's a lifeline and it just might save you.
If you've got a loved one who's having trouble, gently suggest they get a little help, but if they don't, remember it's not your responsibility to get them fixed.
Just a little love from your Auntie Jen. Take care of yourselves. 
I have missed seeing you around. I lurk mostly, but I am here.
That was a great way to post-it is all too true. Great changes, even good ones, can rock our little world pretty wildly-and it really doesn't hurt to know there is someone you can turn too. I have seen several therapists-sometimes it takes some time to find someone really comfortable, but it REALLY does make a difference.
you rock, lady-glad you are doing better. Every day is another step forward!!
LynnK
