Only The Shadow Knows

A few days ago I posted about still seeing the fat guy in the mirror even though I have lost 150 lbs.  I was deeply touched by all the compliments and encouragement I got in response here.  As a result, I have tried a few of the suggestions people gave me and they seem to be helping.  This morning I went on a long walk (5 or 6 miles) both for exercise and to contemplate this discomfitting difference between how I see myself and how others apparently see me.  My walking route is a bit circuitous, but when I turned away from the sunshine I noticed my shadow.  "I'll be damned!", I thought to myself, "My shadow no longer looks like the Michelin man".  Since you can't escape your shadow when you are outdoors on a beautiful, sunny spring day, I took the time to really study it as I walked.  It didn't look like the shadow of a fat guy, it didn't move like the shadow of a fat guy, and it didn't talk to me like a fat guy (which is a good thing because I was worried about being delusional), so I concluded that it must not be the shadow of a fat guy.  Weird, I know, yet I felt like a different person than the fat guy when I got home.   I am not too sure who that guy with a (mostly) normal looking shadow is, but I know he is a part of me that I want to keep.

RP

Wow, you are so eloquent.
Singing & twirling...."Me..and my shadow"
But there are two words I need to go look up now (love the brain stimulation) so catch you later.

how awesome is that? One of the thigs that really got to me was my hands... I forgot to mention this on the last thread... but I do computer work for a living and noticing my hands and the tendons... the veins and bones was my first realization that I was no long fat. I'm still in awe of my hands whenever I type... and of how tiny yes TINY lol my wrists are. my fingers always looked like sausages attached to two puffy balls... now they look like hands LOL I'll be damned! keep watching that shadow...

That's great, Rick!  I'm so glad you're feeling better.  I can totally relate.  It's nice that it didn't take something earthshattering to help you, just a mere shadow!

That's one of the things I am terrified of, still feeling like/seeing the fat girl after I've done everything I need to with this surgery.  I don't doubt myself, but I haven't been thin for SOOO long, and even when I was, I felt like the fat girl, it's scary.

Congrats on coming so far both physically and mentally!!  :)

Elmer,

I'm glad you saw a "Normal" looking shadow.......You are not that "Fat" guy anymore....Your far from that......You are "Normal." YAY.......

I will have to try your shadow experience....Were on our way out the door now to take a family walk in the woods........

Congrat's RP........Kelly

I feel like you are in my head! I know exactly what you mean... whenever I see my shadow, or walk by a mirror... I always step back a few to look at myself and wonder, "Who the heck is that?" It's surreal.

Rick you are quite the man! I hadn't thought about my shadow, I will look for it tomorrow. Hopefully I won't know it is me....