Cont. from RP's post Support, anyone interested?
RP has a good way of writting down his feelings.....After looking at all the responces I see I'm not the only one going through this......
With the economy the way it is, money is tight and going to a counselor costs a lot......
I'm going to throw something out there and see what kind of responce I get......
Here's what I'm thinking could maybe help us all and even our spouses or SO's :
What if we met at an informal place and discussed our feelings, shared our issues, supported one another......It really helps me to be able to talk out how I'm feeling with those that are going through the same stuff.....We could invite spouses or SO's or not....I'm really struggling lately, and just started to wonder after RP's post if anyone would be interested in getting together and supporting one another....I would be more than willing to open up my home for the first "Support get together." We could maybe even have a Bon fire if the fire restrictions lift....
So is anyone interested???
Kelly
With the economy the way it is, money is tight and going to a counselor costs a lot......
I'm going to throw something out there and see what kind of responce I get......
Here's what I'm thinking could maybe help us all and even our spouses or SO's :
What if we met at an informal place and discussed our feelings, shared our issues, supported one another......It really helps me to be able to talk out how I'm feeling with those that are going through the same stuff.....We could invite spouses or SO's or not....I'm really struggling lately, and just started to wonder after RP's post if anyone would be interested in getting together and supporting one another....I would be more than willing to open up my home for the first "Support get together." We could maybe even have a Bon fire if the fire restrictions lift....
So is anyone interested???
Kelly
Kelly, as I told you, I will be very interested to see the responses to this idea, because I am personally very torn. Yes, it's something I need to talk about with SOMEONE. I'm not sure I'm comfortable doing so in a bigger group setting. And I KNOW my hubby would NEVER put himself out there for this kind of thing. So if it does happen and I do decide to be a part of it, I will be solo.
Imperfect does not = unsuccessful
I'd be interested, even if it was a tiny group once in a while.
Kelly,
I think this would be a great idea. I know I have not had an opportunity to post to RP's yet, but for me, I have been going thru some similar things, although somewhat reversed from what everyone else is talking about.....
I know Sam has questions and it has helped him getting to know you and Marty. Being a spouse or an SO watching us change both physically and emotionally can be exciting and confusing at the same time. If it is hard on us, we need to understand that our SO's are going thru something so similar.
It has helped Sam know that he is not alone and although our marriage is very strong, we still have barriers that are uncomfortable. We do have to take the time to understand each others point of view and perhaps there is some insecurities that prior to WLS was never an issue. Now our SO's are faced with having to think about those feelings that perhaps while we were 'invisable' they were not threatened. Before when we were heavier we did not get the attention from others and they did not have do deal with the feeling of being threatened. Perhaps, they do not like those thoughts coming out and are first seeing a side of themselves that they do not like either. ALthough it is very easy to argue and fight but what is really happening is a case of 'Who moved my cheese?' Someone has upset the 'natural balance' of our lives and what was comfortable before now has changed. We just have to find out what is comfortable again. And both parties need to remember the reasons why we had surgery in the first place. Mostly it was for our health and so we can live longer healthier lives, right? So just like sometimes we have to go back to the basics with our eating and get back on track, perhaps we need to 'Go back to the reasons why we had surgery in the first place. I do not think any of our SO's would want us to go back to the way we used to be. I think that we need to look at the reasons why we ended up were we are and grow from that!
Just my 2 cents and I would love to get together as a group and maybe have an activity for all of us together...WLS peeps and their SO's!!!
CArolN
I think this would be a great idea. I know I have not had an opportunity to post to RP's yet, but for me, I have been going thru some similar things, although somewhat reversed from what everyone else is talking about.....
I know Sam has questions and it has helped him getting to know you and Marty. Being a spouse or an SO watching us change both physically and emotionally can be exciting and confusing at the same time. If it is hard on us, we need to understand that our SO's are going thru something so similar.
It has helped Sam know that he is not alone and although our marriage is very strong, we still have barriers that are uncomfortable. We do have to take the time to understand each others point of view and perhaps there is some insecurities that prior to WLS was never an issue. Now our SO's are faced with having to think about those feelings that perhaps while we were 'invisable' they were not threatened. Before when we were heavier we did not get the attention from others and they did not have do deal with the feeling of being threatened. Perhaps, they do not like those thoughts coming out and are first seeing a side of themselves that they do not like either. ALthough it is very easy to argue and fight but what is really happening is a case of 'Who moved my cheese?' Someone has upset the 'natural balance' of our lives and what was comfortable before now has changed. We just have to find out what is comfortable again. And both parties need to remember the reasons why we had surgery in the first place. Mostly it was for our health and so we can live longer healthier lives, right? So just like sometimes we have to go back to the basics with our eating and get back on track, perhaps we need to 'Go back to the reasons why we had surgery in the first place. I do not think any of our SO's would want us to go back to the way we used to be. I think that we need to look at the reasons why we ended up were we are and grow from that!
Just my 2 cents and I would love to get together as a group and maybe have an activity for all of us together...WLS peeps and their SO's!!!
CArolN
'Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly. Leave the rest to God!
'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'
Kelly:
This is a fabulous idea! It will be worthwhile even if all we manage to do in that group setting is to collectively acknowledge to our spouses or significant others that we realize that this is hard on them, too, and they aren't lucky enough to have the support that we all have from each other. Oh, and I love bonfires!
RP
I'm SO excited that I am going to be moving to Red Wing hopefully I can get more involved not only in Coffee's but somthing like this!! I think that I support group is an AMAZING idea its one thing to go to a counslor but its another to talk to people who know what your going through. I go to a theapist weekly but I know that she doesn't understand so a group would be a lovley idea!!
Hi guys-
I'm glad to see there is an interest here......I think this could really help us and our spouses or SO's.....
I'll PM everyone within a week that is interested to see when a good time would be.....We can always do a potluck and play the Bean Bag game to for a fun break....We can make this as serious as we want but also FUN.....
Love you all so much......I'm LOVING all this support.....Kelly
I'm glad to see there is an interest here......I think this could really help us and our spouses or SO's.....
I'll PM everyone within a week that is interested to see when a good time would be.....We can always do a potluck and play the Bean Bag game to for a fun break....We can make this as serious as we want but also FUN.....
Love you all so much......I'm LOVING all this support.....Kelly
That's interesting....because that's what I thought the Wednesday PNC support group meetings were supposed to be for.
That's why the smaller coffee groups, like the one at Roseville and West St Paul are nice, because we can dicuss issues with the group. Sometime our Saturday coffee's acutually turn out to be more than a bunch of people drinking coffee...we discuss our ups and downs too.
I've decided I get no more information from PNC than I would from my coffee groups or from just talking to my friends. If I go to PNC now, it will be to visit, not for the support....because there is no value add from the facilitators.
That's why the smaller coffee groups, like the one at Roseville and West St Paul are nice, because we can dicuss issues with the group. Sometime our Saturday coffee's acutually turn out to be more than a bunch of people drinking coffee...we discuss our ups and downs too.
I've decided I get no more information from PNC than I would from my coffee groups or from just talking to my friends. If I go to PNC now, it will be to visit, not for the support....because there is no value add from the facilitators.
Highest: 349
Lowest: 175
Surgeon's Goal: 189
My Goal: A healtier happier me!!
2014 update...regained but haven't lost faith.
Edi,
I hope my dresses worked out for you that you got at the lodge....:)
I'm not sure if I'm understanding your post.....But I don't go to PNC....I had surgery through Unity......
I just thought that with hearing so many people going through the same thing I am and my spouse that an INFORMAL get together would be a good idea......
AT our MG coffee get togethers very few if any spouses show up, so that wouldn't be helpful for my hubby......So I figured I'd post this and see who would be interested.....
Kelly
I hope my dresses worked out for you that you got at the lodge....:)
I'm not sure if I'm understanding your post.....But I don't go to PNC....I had surgery through Unity......
I just thought that with hearing so many people going through the same thing I am and my spouse that an INFORMAL get together would be a good idea......
AT our MG coffee get togethers very few if any spouses show up, so that wouldn't be helpful for my hubby......So I figured I'd post this and see who would be interested.....
Kelly
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