On This Road Together

I have been reflecting on a number of things lately and perhaps the most on the people with whom I have shared this WLS road.  At he outset of my journey, I didn't enjoy solid family support for my decision to have weight loss surgery, so I reached out to a couple of friends and hoped for the best.  My family eventually came around.  Along the way, I found OH and was very active on the RNY board until I started going to the MG coffee gatherings in December.  The people I conversed with on the RNY board were very supportive of me and helped me face my negative self-image problems.  Since I have gotten to meet some of you on the MN forum, I have participated very little on the RNY board.  Nevertheless, some of my old friends and supporters pop up from time to time to say hi and offer their ongoing, if quirky support. This past 4 months I have experienced more personal growth than I have over the rest of my adult life.  My RNY board friends prepared me, I suppose, for this part of my journey, but it is the people at the MG coffee gatherings who have inspired a profound inner change in me. 

I have always been physically strong and I am not a complete idiot most of the time, but I have also been ashamed of being a very emotional person.  For most of my life I have hidden behind my strength and whatever intellect I have, not letting anyone, including my wife, see much more than a glimpse of my inner workings.  To my own shock and amazement, I found myself trusting a few of you enough to let you see more of that inner part of me.  There was no revulsion or projectile vomiting as a result, I am happy to report.  Instead I found basic human acceptance, without judgement or conditons.

It is that basic acceptance that has inspired me to write without so much fear or shame about my emotions and to allow myself to feel, good, bad, happy, or hurt without feeling like I needed to grab a bag of Doritos or eat a quart of ice cream.  Yesterday I had a bad day and I didn't even think to turn to food for comfort.  What an utterly different man I am becoming.  I am so glad that I am not on tihis journey alone.  This road we are on is hard, with unexpected turns, potholes to avoid and mountains to climb, yet it is filled with wows and moments of profound personal satisfaction, too.  I am so grateful to all of you who share this road with me, most particulary those of you who have, in your own gentle way, accepted and embraced the inner, emotional part of me that is beginning to see the light of day.

RP

Dearest RP ~

Although we have only met briefly a couple times, I am so impressed with you...!  Your elequantly spoken words are inspiring, compelling and really speak to me.  Thank you for being YOU and I truly hope to get to know you better soon.

I have not been very good lately at lending support and being there for folks in their time of need.  For that, I ask forgiveness.   I do hope to be more helpful towards my fellow Losers in the future..  We all need support and we all have it to give...

God Bless ~

I haven't been fortunate enough to meet you in person, but I always enjoy reading your posts.  You are a wise and kind soul, and so introspective.  You seem to speak very clearly the thoughts and feelings that many of us have.  I believe you have helped many of us here more than you'll ever know.  I think you have a book inside you, waiting to come out!  Have you ever considered writing a book?  Just your postings here would probably make a great one!  Thank you so much for all you've offered here - even though I don't know you yet!

Aw, Rick....   I think it's sad that men, generally speaking, feel they have to stifle their emotions in order to not appear - well, less than MANLY.   How many screwed up dudes out there would be much happier if they felt free to express themselves the way YOU have?  I had an uncle, my dad's youngest brother, who was very much like you - felt lots of emotion, and he was never afraid to show his tears - whether they were tears of happiness or anguish.  I can't TELL you how I loved that man...

You are amazing, to allow yourself to continue LEARNING about life.

Besides - having the kind of eloquence that allows you to include "projectile vomiting" in a post as gracious and sweet as yours?  Now THAT THERE is something SPECIAL!!!

AWE - Tear Flick!  That was sweet RP - I'm feeling the same way!

Dear RP,

You may not have been able to see the real person you are but I saw it right away. Your kind and caring and someone I can call "My Friend"! We Maple Grovers are so glad you've come to our table to share a laugh...smile and sometimes tears. But that's what it's all about, coming together with a common goal of support and friendship.

Rose  :-)

You are a very blessed man.  You have found the full benefit of WLS and embraced it.  I'm both happy for you and jealous.

Hugs,
Edi

You're a fantastic person, RP! Glad you're a part of this board.

I stand and applaud you!

RP,

You did not laugh at me when I could not get the darn fire at the lodge to stay lit. You came into the cabin with your wood carving bits, lit the fire and chatted about many things with me.  I see a very intelligent, nice man that is a great assett to all of us.

Karen