The Hugging Touch

One of the things I like best about the MG coffee gatherings is that people hug one another there. Before I ever attended one of those gatherings Darla forewarned me about the hugging.  I was apprehensive about that.....why would someone want to hug me when they don't even know me?  What a wonderful surprise it was to receive a Darla hug.....but as much as I enjoyed the physical part of the hug, I enjoyed the message more...."Welcome, you are among friends, so it is safe to share your triumphs and your struggles here."  I look forward to that message every time I go to MG coffee.  

After attending a couple of the MG coffee gatherings, it was brought to my attention that I needed to work on my hugging........women won't break if you actually hug them.  I asked around a bit and, yes, I appparently suck at hugging.  I also asked my daughter and she further confirmed that my hugs lacked substance, particularly because I always side-hugged my daughters once they grew up.  In talking with a couple of OH friends, I came to the realization that I have never fully embraced most of the people in my life, either physically or emotionally.  First, I have been hugging from my own former personal space.  It's pretty hard for me to hug someone properly from whatever distance was created by taking more than 20 inches off my waist.  Second, I have always been afraid of squishing or smothering someone, either with my bulk or the depth of my feelings toward them.  So, henceforth I will endeavor to be better at hugging and my goal is to suck less at it.

The other thing I have been thinking about relative to hugging is that there are those among us who excel at things, whether it is hugging, looking effortlessly elegant, dressing with style, dancing, etc., that you would think need little in the way of encouragment and support for what they already excel at.  That is simply not true.  Hug the hugger, marvel out loud at the elegant and the beautiful and dance with the dancer.  Help affirm that excellence in them, enjoy their company for a little while and know in your heart that you gave back a little of what has been given to you.

RP

I have never been a fan of the "loose hug" or "skeletal hug" where they link their arms around you ... and that's about it.  In HS I was really depressed and a friend of mine often gave me snuggly loving hugs.  I realized, after graduation, that I really missed the hugs.  There's something about receiving a comfortable, warm, caring hug from someone, especially if you're not used to the physical contact.  My husband and I hug before we leave for work and when we come home.  We both realize we miss it if we miss a day!

Perhaps a hug is a 'member handshake' so to speak? Hehehe.

I think it's great you're going to work on your hugging.  What a FUN thing to work on trying  to improve.   

To me, a loose or unenthusiastic hug says the person I'm hugging doesn't like me much. Both of my sister in laws hug like that.   It comes off as un-sincere.  Unfirm handshakes come off that way to me too.  I wonder if the loose huggers all have light handshakes as well.  

Enjoy working on your hugs, I'm sure the others will enjoy receiving them.

RP - if you ever quit posting here I will personally find you and kick you a$$.  Your posts are so wonderful and just plain and simple thoughtful.
I am also a champion leg wrestler.  Have had only 2 men ever flip me over in my 15 year career.  Okay champion/career I'm going a little over board but I beat every guy in my senior class!  So I'm a local legend.
Any way RP I agree the things that look effortless still need to be recognized.  Everyone loves compliments even if it's simply you are a great hugger - or man you look fabulous today!
Thanks for posting!
Sal

I love this post.  I think I need to print out all of your posts and re-read them now and then.  You give me so much to think about.
Love you RP!!

"What a wonderful surprise it was to receive a Darla hug.....but as much as I enjoyed the physical part of the hug, I enjoyed the message more...."Welcome, you are among friends, so it is safe to share your triumphs and your struggles here." 

Wow, Rick - I didn't realize I was so deep!  I just think a good, firm, boob-squishing hug is - well, FUN!

      

Seriously, tho, I hereby volunteer to help you conquer your hug issues.  I never thought of your hugs  as you being afraid to hurt me (me being an Amazon and all...), but rather that you were afraid to put your heart and soul into your hugs, for fear of appearing inappropriate.

HOG WASH.  Next time I see you, I FULLY EXPECT a full-on, sincere, heartfelt HUG!!!

I can see I'm gonna have to get to more of those MG coffees.  I love those hugs, too!  I never really got many of them growing up, so it's been hard for me to do. 

And I agree with Sandy...I'm gonna have to save your posts, too, and read them on days when I'm down.  Thanks, Rick! 

I love love love love hugging you!!!!!!!!!!! I can wrap my arms around ya! :)

RP,

You already know how I feel......Hug away, I won't break....:)

Kelly