OT: Struggling -sorry its long

jtjaden
on 4/28/09 9:52 am

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.  I know what it is like being with someone who is battling an addiction.  I was with an alcoholic for a long time.  Its difficult to decide how to handle things.  You definitely need to give your husband credit for going to see a therapist, a lot of people deny any problems.  I found that I could make threats (stop or I am leaving, etc) will not work unless you truly mean what you say.  In this situation with an addict you have to mean what you say and say what you mean.  My addict has finally started going to AA meetings...maybe GA meetings would benefit your husband.  He would be surrounded by people who know exactly what he is feeling and experiencing.  Just a suggestion.  Just choose your actions and your words wisely and be prepared to stand behind what you say.  Enabling will only hurt you both in the end. 

Hope you find this to be somewhat beneficial!  Take care and good luck with things!

Darla S.
on 4/28/09 11:34 pm - Maple Grove, MN
Kathy, I have no experience with anything like this, so no advice or words of wisdom, but you are in my thoughts and prayers.


  Imperfect does not = unsuccessful

Connie D.
on 4/28/09 11:35 pm
Kathy...I am so sorry you are having to struggle with all this. I hope he gets the help he needs.

My thoughts and prayers are with you sweetie.

PM me anytime you want to chat. I will keep this confidential.

Love ya....hugs.....connie d
Kathy O.
on 4/29/09 12:16 am - Minnetonka, MN
Thanks everyone for your thoughts on this situation it means a lot to be able to turn to some people when you go through something like this.   My mom is an addiction counselor and a former addict herself and at first I didn't want to tell her about his behavior but I guess I wanted some advice on what to do so I talked to her this morning.   She kind of took the mom role instead of the counselor role but I'm sure that is a hard to switch when your dealing with family. 

Anyway I'm just going to hide my medicine for now and see if his behavior changes.   Our marriage counselor is going to call him hopefully today.   He's kind of minimizing the behavior like its no big deal which scares me but I did tell him if I notice any more of my medicine missing I was going to call his employer.   He drives for a living, the medication won't affect his driving ability but it is an illegal narcotic if you don't have a prescription so if he were to get into an accident on the company time there could be huge liability there.   I hope this scares him and I won't have to take things this far but I am wililng to do it if need be. 


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Darla S.
on 4/29/09 12:58 am - Maple Grove, MN
Not to MENTION the fact that he's depleting your supply of something YOU NEED TO TAKE!


  Imperfect does not = unsuccessful

Kathy O.
on 4/29/09 1:18 am - Minnetonka, MN
I ended up cutting the remaining pills in half so I at least of some to last me until May 9th but its already been an interesting day with half my dose.   I feel like I'm just in a fog because I have so many thoughts in my head that its hard to concentrate.   I put on my head phones and listening to my ipod to drown out the noise of co workers so that has helped me focus and I'm back to making detailed lists so I don't forget to do things.    This has been very frustrating on so many levels.


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