OT: My mom has lung cancer (sorry long)

(deactivated member)
on 5/9/09 1:13 am - MN

Wow this past week is one that I could have lived without! However, I have known this day would come eventually. We all know, don't we, the day our parents become the children and need taking care of. Little did I know it would come with such a massive impact.

After about a month of pain (of which she didn't share with anyone), my mom asked my dad to take her to the ER a week ago today. Now when my mom asks to see the doctor we know it's serious, as we can count on our hands and feet how many times she has seen a doctor in her 70 years (and that includes 5 children and a miscarriage).

Well, they did test after test, scan after scan and yesterday we received the final diagnosis. Extensive, small-cell lung cancer. The doctor says that this is a relatively uncommon cancer and is characterized by one good point and one bad point. The good: It responds extremely well to treatment. The bad: It spreads quickly to other parts of the body through the blood stream.

Before hearing the facts, my mom had told my dad that she didn't want to endure chemo or radiation. However, after learning that she would feel much worse and die much sooner without the treatment, she has opted to begin chemo on Monday.

Right after the doctor blurted out the diagnosis, he was called out of the room. My mom told my dad and I that she had three goals that she wanted to live for.
1. Make it to their 50th wedding anniversary (June 13th)
2. See her first great grandchild born (Due July 10th)
3. See her last "adopted" (family friends) granchild get married. (July 26th)

My father and I were very happy to hear that she had something to live for because it was these three things that encouraged my mom to seek treatment.  We also learned that people who seek treatment will never be cured of this disease, but live 5-10 times longer than those who do not seek treatment. The doctors refused to give us any prognosis on how long we have left with her. But it is most likely less than a year. Therefore, we are all gathering at my moms tomorrow to celebrate what will most likely be her last Mother's Day. 

I'm thankful my mom, usually very private about her health, allowed me to be with them yesterday and even more appreciative that she will allow me to be part of the entire journey. I told her yesterday that if my time with her was limited, I would spend it with her anyway I could, whether that meant holding her hand during chemo or helping her learn how to wear scarves as she lost her hair. Even though her and I have never been close per se, the thought of losing her of course, makes me wish I had spent more time with her over the past few years.

So, with all that said, yes, I'm feeling pretty darn emotional. I plead with you that if your mother is still here on Earth, to make tomorrow the best Mother's Day ever and make each day after that just as special. Give her the biggest hug you've ever given her and make sure that she knows that you love her.  If your mom has already passed, then do two things, 1. Talk to your mom or write her a letter telling her how much she still means to you and thank her for all that she gave you as she raised you and watched you become the person you are today.  2. Find someone else in your life that is a mother or acted as a second mom in your life and make sure she knows just how much you love and appreciate her.

I appreciate any and all prayers that you may say on behalf of my mom and entire family!

God Bless, love and hugs!
Tracy

gerdon
on 5/9/09 1:52 am - Grantsburg, WI

My heart goes out to you!!  I lost my mom 27 years ago this past Monday.  I agree whole heartily, all of us should tell our parents how much they mean to us.  Until you experience the loss, one always thinks they will be there "the next time".  I'm glad to hear you will have the opportunity to be with your mom as she goes through this process, that will mean as much to her as it does to you, believe me!  My prayers and thoughts will be with you.
Donna

Kiba0003
on 5/9/09 2:34 am - Corcoran, MN
I hope the strength  of everyone in your family, especially your mom, will pull you all through this. Sorry to hear Tracy.

2019: 11 years out and maintaining a loss of 150lbs.

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Connie D.
on 5/9/09 3:56 am
Tracy...my heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry to hear this news about your mother.

She sounds like a wonderful and caring woman. Now I know where you get that from.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your mother and all of your family.

Love you...hugs....connie d
rickpete
on 5/9/09 4:19 am - Elk River, MN
Tracy:

Even though I am told that I suck at hugging, here is a giant cyber-hug for you.  You and your family are in my prayers.

RP
Sabrinna IsFree
on 5/9/09 5:08 am - Hopkins, MN

So sorry to hear this!  I will be thinking of and praying for your family.  She is very blessed to have a daughter with a heart as kind as yours. 

Thanks for the reminder to thank those in our lives who have acted as mothers to us.  I am going to do just that and contact those women who have made an impact on my life. 

My grandmother who raised me has been gone for 3 years now and it has been 1 year since my biological mom passed.    It is weird, even though I only knew my biological Mom for a short time and didn't really get a chance to "really know her" I miss her so much. 

Tracy, thanks for helping us think of the positives even though you are going through a rough time right now. 

A HUGE hug to you!!

    Surgeon's goal met, now on to the personal goal...                        
  


lynnk
on 5/9/09 5:25 am - burnsville, MN
((((Tracy!))))

my heart breaks for you-but it is a bittersweet time, there will be amazing moments and moments that will make you want to break-bless you and your mom as you go through this together.
love you, lady-
lynn

LynnK

Crafty1
on 5/9/09 5:58 am - Twin Cities, MN
Oh, Tracy, so sorry to hear this!  I hope she makes it to all of her goals and that your remaining time with her is the best!  Sending hugs and good thoughts your way! 

Nancy  

Kristy A.
on 5/9/09 6:01 am - South Burbs, MN
Tracy, I'm so sorry to hear this.  I hope she responds well to treatment and she can enjoy each day, and at least take part in those 3 special dates coming up in the next few months.  I found this SO touching :

"I would spend it with her anyway I could, whether that meant holding her hand during chemo or helping her learn how to wear scarves as she lost her hair."

Thank you for making me realize that while my mom doesn't have a terminal illness, she does deal with oodles of aches, pains and annoyances every day and she never EVER complains. I need to acknowledge that to her, and tomorrow will be a great day to do it.  THANK YOU, and Hugs!!

Kristy   (weight loss below does not include 16lbs lost during pre WLS diet)
START:  325                            Day of Surgery :309                          GOAL:  180


tuckang
on 5/9/09 7:08 am - Shakopee, MN
Tracy HUGS to you and your family.
Sendings lots of prayers your way.

I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed day tomorrow as you gather on Mothers Day!!! 
God Bless, Angela
"You can't love if you don't love yourself"
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