A Rabid Dog Day (Added Photo)
Have you ever awakened and suddenly realized that you feel like a rabid dog must: angry, anxious, confused, and fraught with aggression? I am feeling like that today. Nothing has happened since yesterday, it's a beautiful morning, the people that love me still love me, but regret, frustration, something unseen must have visited my sub-conscious mind in the night. A person who has had a profound impact on my inner life told me that I just need to let myself feel things, good and bad, and I am trying to do that today. My recent posts here have ranged from silly to serious, but most have been a reflection of some positive emotion and letting myself feel those things has been liberating. This is a different experience altogether. I am afraid of what I am feeling today. I am not worried about being physical aggressive. I don't seem to have that capacity. I am worried about verbal aggression, however. I feel fully capable of making a man wish he could chew off his left testicle rather than suffer a rebuke from me today. So, I sit at my desk, not wanting to venture out, wishing I could blow this feeling out of me like some noxious, tear-inducing fart. Aaaargh!
RP
My daughter took this as a spoof a couple of days ago...a portent of things to come. I am actually calmed down some from this morning.
Take a deep breath......Think of something that makes you happy or smile......Like a big old hug from your OH family.....:)
Your posts have been silly and serious, because your trying to figure life out like the rest of us.......Keep letting yourself feel.....You will figure stuff out....It may take time....
I don't see you as aggressive at all......Just enjoy this sunny day and think good thoughts.
Kelly
(wow ... I've never been so thankful I'm not a dude...)Whenever I feel like a rabid dog, I blame it on PMS. And because I've had a hystericalectomy, I can claim it whenever I like - no physical evidence to contradict me. But for you?
hmmmm... do you have access to a punching bag somewhere?
Imperfect does not = unsuccessful
One of the things that I had/have to deal with on this journey is that I have always been the 'peacemaker" type that doesn't make waves, usually would not stand up for myself until I blew my top all out of proportion. Ok, getting some therapy and prozac was one part of the solution, but I still have days where I could rip off peoples faces and feed it to them through their pieholes. You will get through this I am sure. the first thing is to recognize it, acknowledge that it is part of you, and then find ways to release appropriately-....oh yeah, that last is the hard part. Journaling is good, so is coming out here and posting, and talking to someone who lets you bounce those feelings off without taking things personally.
BTW-yeah, Darla is right....I have never been so happy to be a female! (ha! try ripping out MY junk! LOL)
lynn
LynnK
on 5/13/09 3:06 am - MN
