A Case of Mistaken Identity

 

Some of you who have met me in person have been surprised that I am a bit shy, reserved, or perhaps even demure (um…that’s just silly) at first.  I suppose it is all the more surprising because I write here about things that most men don’t talk about openly, like emotions, as well as all manner of bodily functions.  I have always been confident about intellectual things, particularly in writing, but my social confidence has lagged far behind.   Those basic facts seem to confuse people.

 

When I was bigger, I got used to people making assumptions about me based on my size and appearance.  My social awkwardness was sort of expected, but the collective they often were shocked that I have a half a brain, was physically stronger than most of them, and that I am terribly opinionated about things that concern me.  I will admit that I secretly liked being a very round peg that people wanted to fit into a square hole. 

 

Now that I am thinner and have what some have told me is an athletic build, people now make different assumptions about me based on my size and appearance.  My opinion is sought on more things at work, a fair number of women seem shy or nervous around me, and men seem more protective of their wives or girlfriends when I am nearby.  I have noticed this same phenomenon with WLS and non-WLS folks alike, which truly astonishes me. You would think WLS people might understand on a fundamental level that they can’t possibly know me or my motivations until I find something more of myself.

 

The thing is that I am still socially awkward, although somewhat less so than in the past.  I guess I will just have to get used to dealing with this new set of assumptions.  Hopefully, I will continue to leave people disconcerted by actually being quite different than what they expect based on how I look.

 

RP

   You look FINE to me, Rick.  Just sayin..... 

Rick, thank you for this post. I also feel the same way. Since losing all the weight, I think I obtained a job easier and people relate to me differently. I'm still trying to figure out how to react to having men actually talk to me - on purpose! Crazy.

Great post! I have notice some of these things also. As much as I hate being sterotyped, I admit doing it to others. When I realize it I will usually, in my head, apologize to the person. It is sometimes hard to take a compliment because I don't feel as good as they say I look. I had a male customer stop by my office and tell me that he just had to tell me how even more beautiful I am everytime he sees me. Not sure what to do with that one, I just thanked him.