OT: Major Meltdown in Mexico

Last night I had a MAJOR meltdown.  I think everything is starting to hit me at once.  We went to the Mercado (market) where there are many many steps without railings (and they were wet too) and I was terrified that I was going to fall.  It was also totally sensory overload.  I was with friends who were looking for a specific item and by the time we found it (after going up and own the steps a few times) the booth was closed!!  We then went to the town square to go to an artisan market, still on a quest for the same thing, and ran into the same problm.  After that we went to a bar with live music' which was nice, but I couldn´t believe the amount of alcohol consumed by my group members and some of the behavior that followed.  It just drove home to me how out of place I am with large groups-and really made me question whether or not I should have come on this trip.

Right now I am under a lot of stress- I will be jobless on June 30th, I am still having some pretty icky foot problems (that I truly tht the weight loss would help go away), and I am just feeling quite marginalized from society in general.  I really would just like to crawl under a rock and stay there  for quite some time.  Maybe someday I will find a place where I fit in.

Sorry to be so whny today (especially this early in the morning) but I had to write this down to try to make sense of the whole situation.  I also know that I can get some good support to work through this on the board.  So, thanks for reading and have a GREAT day!

Reenie

I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a hard time!  Traveling is hard for me, too, because I'm surrounded by the unfamiliar, so that's an added stress.  Then when people start drinking and acting wild, that always makes me feel very uncomfortable, too.  It hasn't happened for a while, and when it has, it has happened in the US, so I can only imagine how uncomfortable I would feel in another country.  Then you have your foot problems, which only add to the stress.  Is there any way you can take "time out" to do something calming for yourself?  Maybe reach out to some people who can be understanding of your feelings?  I don't know the cir****tances of your travel, but it sounds like you're in a group of some sort.  Maybe there are others in the group that have similar needs to yours?   It's hard to feel out of place when you're so far from home.  I'll certainly pray for you, and I hope things improve quickly for you!

I think its totally ok to have a major meltdown now and again.  I think Meltdowns are a way our brain screams at us when we aren't paying attention to how we are really feeling.  It sounds like you are pretty stressed about the jobloss (and whou wouldn't be).  This may sound corny but take a moment to be by yourself and just write down in a journal what you are feeling what you are scared about and get it all out on paper that way maybe you can sort out some of those emotions.  Its ok to feel anxiety, fear, anger, frustration; those are all normal feelings and if we suppress them we can develop bad ways of coping.  

Hi Reenie -  I was thinking this trip would be a great get away for you, but it sounds more stressful than anything.  When do you come back?

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I do not do well with groups at all, especially in a going out type situation being I'm not much of a drinker. Always feel out of place, and then get irritated with people consume too much and I feel like I need to turn into the group baby sitter.  I hope that you have a better day today.

Sorry things are not going well - I would tell your friends you need a day to yourself. Maybe you need to relax, read, stroll, shop....something by yourself. This is YOUR vacation, too! Do what YOU want to do!
Sue

Reenie-

I don't think it's you in large groups, I think it's the large groups you've ended up in. I would have been just as uncomfortable as you at that bar. And it's never fun to be the only one not drinking. And being in a new place and probably at least a bit overwhelmed and tired, it makes it hard to be out and about and running around with people who aren't people you'd normally choose to hang with.

I am so sorry about losing your job. You are so energetic and positive, I can't imagine you not finding something fabulous soon. 

That wasn't whiny at all.  If that's whiny, I want to be just like you when I grown up. Be glad you aren't in the country right now or I'd be covering your shoulder in tears and mascara...that's whiny!

Can't wait til you are back,
Anna

Awww, Reenie, I am so sorry you are not enjoying your trip.  It isn't that you are out of place with large groups - it is that you were not aware of the behavior of the large group.  Other than the after hours socializing, is the encounter with the community going well?  Maybe you should split off from the group after hours and do your own thing!  Make your own fun.  Is there a pool?  Go swimming!  Find a nice area and read a good book. 

As for being jobless - I think there is something wonderful waiting for you.  It may not be what you expect, but nevertheless, it will be wonderful.  You just have to keep the faith.  You are too nice of a person not to have a good opportunity rise up.