Discussion Invitation: Dealing With Bad Mental Health Days
Discussion Invitation: Dealing With Bad Mental Health Days
Yesterday was a bad mental health day for me. For the first time in months I felt compelled to eat for emotional comfort. I made it through the day without going very far in that direction. Today seems a better day in that regard. However, there are those here whose lives and cir****tances are more challenging and complicated than my own. Depression, relationship issues, worries about sick or troubled loved ones, job stress or loss, health problems, financial shortfalls, low self-esteem, regret over past mistakes, social anxiety, and the list goes on of things that can make a person feel compelled to eat for comfort and/or suffer a worsening of their mental health over a longer period of time. Given that reality, I thought it might be helpful to initiate discussion of how your fellow OHers cope with bad mental health days. There really is no point in debating the merits of anyone else’s approach. What works for one person might not help another, but if anyone benefits from this discussion, it will have been worth the effort.
A preventative approach seems to help me keep my emotional life between the ditches most of the time. I have been going to a bariatric psychologist once a month since before surgery a year ago and that seems enough for me. Attending support group meetings regularly and being able to lean heavily on my support group friends from time to time has helped me more than anything else. If I had to choose between seeing a therapist and attending support group meetings, I would choose the support group meetings because the people you meet there are a collection of caring, kindred spirits who have been on the same path as you are on. Allowing yourself to be embraced by the love, caring and support of people who understand you is much more comforting than food has ever been for me.
As far as day to day coping, introspection during regular exercise has helped keep me centered or, like yesterday, has brought me back from the edge when I don’t feel strong emotionally. Mindfulness and basic meditation have helped me more thoroughly enjoy specific experiences when I feel good and to focus on the positive from moment to moment when I am really struggling. Writing about how I feel has also been therapeutic in the long run, but doesn’t always help when I have a bad day.
So, what do you do to help you cope with bad mental health days?
RP
Sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday.......
Well, it has been not so good for me lately.......I did a lot of talking to myself this weekend, especially Saturday....And then again on Sunday night......And sorry to say I have turned to food, and the scale shows it by 10 pounds......
I'm trying to take my life back, I recently was given Celexa depression medicine, So far it has made me tired and I have a bad headache, so exercise has been put on hold till I get rid of this zinger of a headache......I'm also journaling my feelings.......Instead of bad food, I've been eating fruit when I graze......I like to take bike rides, it's peaceful and I try to go farther each time we go......Marek and I are going in the pool today, hopefully that will get rid of this headache.....
To better days.......KellyEven though you are struggling, you are doing a number of positive things to increase your chances of improving things on the mental health front, so there is real hope there. As far as anti depressants, when I have taken them in the past (Prozac and Zoloft at different times), it took a couple of weeks for my body to adjust to them and for them to have much effect. If things aren't better in a couple of weeks, you might consider consulting your doctor about trying something different. So, a resounding YES to better days ahead.
RP
I am definetly old school when it comes to conquering mental health days!
I always say ~Happiness is a Choice! You can decide to approach the day/situation with a negative or positive attitude. I choose positive. It actually makes the situation more tolerable.
If I get behind the eight ball and can't seem to get past the negative; I do something positive for myself. Something, that after I am done, I say "YES, I deserved that" or "Good for me!" I always feel better after exercising, so that is my choice.
Food for comfort doesn't seem to do it for me anymore. I always feel worse after eating too much or not the best choices. Don't get me wrong; I love my comfort food; but I just know after eating, I feel worse. Its a vicious cycle that lead me to the surgery in the first place. I don't go there, because I don't want to go back to that lonely miserable place of morbid obesity.
It feels to good to be healthy! Heres to better days ahead and leaving the past behind!
Don't forget to smile!!
Ranae
As several wise, beautiful women here have taught me, sometimes you just have to FAKE IT 'TIL YOU MAKE IT!!
Imperfect does not = unsuccessful
RP-
Thanks for bringing this topic up. I think it is one that affects all of us at one time or another. Lately I have had more bad days than good- I am finding that I make better choices with food when I can keep the idea of "protein first" in the front of my brain. Am I eating too much some days, yes- but I am doing much better at staying away from the carbs that can be very damaging to me in many ways.
I also find that if I can find 2 positive things for every negative that I am thinking I can usually move on. When life gets really overwhelming I tend to just curl up and go to sleep. Typically when I wake up again I am ready to continue on with life.
I am grateful for the help of my regular therapist, the bariatric psychologist, my psychiatrist, and the people who attend the Eagan and West St. Paul coffee's for helping me to feel safe about talking about these feelings. I don't get how some people are able to go it completely alone.
Maybe someday I will have an even better way to deal with those days!
Reenie
I journal, I meditate, I call my friends, I pet my cats, I remind myself of where I was a year ago and take inventory of the blessings I am enjoying now. Exercising helps sometimes unless I'm just too pissy to get do it. A lot of times, I just focus on what I can work on now, that I can get through this and it will end. That's probably the skill I use most. Sometimes I need to go a bit more short-term than one day at a time, a few days ago, it was one second at a time.
I'm not so far out (6 months) so I think the eating stuff is still relatively easy for me but I just really take time out when I know I want food because it would comfort me to see what's really going on and find a way to deal with it better. I think it helps that I had done low carb for a while before surgery and then went on an ice cream binge. I saw how the sugar and fat affected me and I try to remember how awful and numb I felt so I don't go there again.
I'm a member of a 12-step group so I use those skills a lot. I wear a serenty prayer bracelet everyday so I can look down when things get rough and be reminded of keeping things in perspective. My meditation books help a lot and so does going to my meetings.
The Small Bites Daily Inspirations for Weigh Loss Surgery Patients by Katie Jay is also very helpful for giving me perspective and helping me focus on better solutions to my problems than food.
One last thing, never underestimate the power of crayons! Buy yourself a box of crayons and a hello kitty coloring book and start coloring. They even have adult coloring books at Michaels with more complex pictures which are fun...but heck, hello kitty can make any day better! hee hee. Also great is sidewalk chalk this time of year. Even if you can only do stick figures and simple flowers like me, its fun and childlike and diverting. Plus then you can just hose down the cement when you are finished if you want.
I've been going through some stuff lately (not as bad as some though) and I'm thankful everyday for the skills I've learned. I'm not happy all the time by any means, heck, its a good day if I can get through the day without my jaw clenched, but my coping skills are not destructive like they used to be and for that I'm so very grateful.
