OT: Emotional Struggles

Kathy,

You've gotten some good advice here.  Nothing is going to be easy about this, but you have to protect yourself.  And much as I know you'd love to have children, it's a blessing in disguise that you haven't had any yet.  You enough to deal with here.

Sending you hugs and prayers for strength -

Some GREAT advice and you seem to be really strong. Stay the course and rely on friends (OH and others) and family for support!

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Wish I could do more...

I guess all I can say is do what's right for you. Set an ultimatum and follow through with it. If you are worth it to him, he will do what he can do get help. But you have to know EXACTLY what you want.. no wavering on your attitude. Sit down, figure out what you want from him, and tell him directly and with a deadline. Men don't get "feelings" and "if you only loved me"... they get actions and deadlines. 

My sister got married when she was about 23. Gorgeous couple, but he drank a lot.. that grew and grew and she held off having a kid. Eventually, at 30, they got divorced because she knew she coupled put up with it and he did not want to stop drinking... she also did not want to pass the "alcoholism" gene, so to speak, on to her children, so she was smart to wait to have kids.

You are very smart - do what's right for you. YOU are the only one that will always be here for you... and you have to treat her the best.