I'm broken hearted!

My family has been ripped to shreds and I'm not sure it will ever recover. My son's wife and my daughter's husband had sexual relations and as of the past week...the tale gets dirtier and dirtier. With each new revelation, I'm so depressed. My poor son and daughter! My advice to both of them was to divorice. They are both such faithful and truly devote LDS people. They married two pretty selfish people. The sad thing is that we didn't even have a hint of this coming. Now my DIL and son are trying to work things out and my daughter is basically staying until she get things figured out. I don't want either one of them in my home.....ever. I know I need to forgive them sometime, but I don't need to let them in my home I can't....if I let one or the other in then one of my kids are hurt by their presence. We use to have Sunday dinner at someone's house and now that is all over. My son won't come unless we let his wife come. My SIL won't even suggest or ask. He just keeps his distance. He knows that his marriage days are numbered and he is looking for a nother home. I am recentful that my son won't bring his two daughters and come to our house even without his wife. He wants out support..which he has had during the last week. I believe it is just a matter of time before she repeats the act with someone else or he asks for a divorice. Meanwhile we are all hurt and sad. This wound is less then a week old and I think my son feels that if he can forgive his wife we should. The truth is....I don't think he forgives her. I think he is more afraid to leave her then loves her. so many unanswered questions and so fresh of a tragedy. both were married in the Temple. Christy

Oh Christy, my stomach just turned when I read this. What a terrible, sad mess. I'm not even sure what to say. I do think you you stand your groung about not letting that woman in your home. How can your son have forgiven her is less than a week? That's preposterous! I'll pray for you. Daph

Well here's an update. My son and his wife are getting a divorice. My son moved back home and he is getting his daughters on alternating weeks. We had the girls all last week and it was wonderful. His wife has no remorse, no sense of having done anything wrong. The bishop and counselor both adviced my son that it is over and that there is no point is trying to save the marriage. She is most likely facing excommunication and she doesn't seem to care. So, we have replace all our flooring in our house and are remodeling to make the place nice for the girls. My son is almost all moved in and he is already seeming somewhat happier then before. I think he loves having his family around him. My daughter on the other hand is still incredibly confused and lost. She is still living with her husband...albeit...as room mates only, but she is still there. I worry about her all the time. She is a bright girl...a school teacher with so much going. She hasn't ruled out divorice, but she is trying to work through her husband's sexual addiction for her baby's sake. She says that inspite of it all he is still the baby's father and she wants him in a better state. I can say working on the house has helped me cope, but frankly speaking...I'm not eating right and not feeling to well. My WLS complicates things because I need to put forth a concerted effort planning my daily eating and I now am having serious stomach pain,. I think it is stress. I'm going to make an appointment with my surgeon to check that it isn't something serious. C

Christy, I think all families have a touch of tragedy in this regard and having gone through a bit of something similar a year ago....m yheart breaks for you and your children as well. We truly learn to love our DIL's and SIL's and so I can imagine the hurt you feel for your own children and the ache you mix with anger for the other 2! It's truly a grieving process and tossing in the need to nurture anew and forgive is a deep resounding issue of Faith and need to rely and Trust in the Lord! I hope Christmas is positive for you, your children and those little precious grandchildren! Prayers your way sweetie pie! ..... Did you find out what your stomach pain issues were about? Hugggzzz, Joyce in AZ