Have any of you ever been divorced?

Have any of you ever been divorced and how did you get through it? I think that will be happening soon to me. Everythig has fallen apart. Thankfully none of us has cheated on each other nor has there been any abuse. -Jonathan

I've been married 3 times. You know the saying...3rd time the charm. Anyway I'm really sorry you are going thru this! Have you and your wife been to LDS social services for counceling? Tammy

I have been divorced, and it is the single most difficult decision to have to make. It is not to be taken lightly and you should pray earnestly to see if there is any way to salvage your marriage. My ex-husband had cheated and abused me and I am still learning to love myself. You need to talk to your wife and see just what the problems are, and be willing to listen to instead of being the bully. I hope it works out for you Donna

In our case none of us were intentionally bullies, but the problem that lays between us is that my wife rarely has anytime for me and when she does she does it to shut me up. I feel no genuine affection from her. I live to please her and I guess I want to feel appreciated and friendship from her. I want to feel that I am her best friend. I feel that her friends take greater precendence in her life that I do. I am willing to do anything my wife asks of me, I don't see that feeling from her. I have stayed because of my children. I feel condemned to a life of rejection and being made second to her friends and her career. -Jonathan

Jonathan, I'm going to encourage my dh to contact you. I can't make any promises. No - we are not divorced. Yes, we were on the brink of it the last year or two. More recently the last 6 months. Your comment "I want to feel that I am her best friend. I feel that her friends take greater precendence in her life that I do." Hit home to me really hard. As you may have read in the post below here or two I was hospitalized last month. Acutally twice (i've not discussed the 2nd one here yet). I spent nearly 3 weeks in the hospital. My friends didn't take greater precendences than my husband. However, they knew more about my "inner feelings" than my husband did. I didn't feel I could tell him. I was struggling emotionally to the extent that ending my life was the only option I could see. I've been dx w/Anorexia and Iknew that was on the "table" at the time. Shortly after I was put in the hospital my 2 best friends told my husband things that I was WAY devastated by. Things ONLY I should have told him. However, in the end it has brought ourmarriage so much closer. He said to me while I was in the hospital the first time "I want to be your best friend". And dag nabbit guess - what? It is a good thing he does because I'm having a hard time trusting my 2 friends. I'm not reccommending your wife becoming suicidal, anorexic or anything like that in order to "see, feel, and aprreciate you". I just know from experience how greatful I am that now I feel like my dh is on board. He really wasn't before - I think I felt like you do about your wife in the sense that I wasn't the single most important thing in his life or even important. that has changed and I'm so very greatful. Jonathan - hang in there. W e are here to support you if you want us to. I know the values instilled in us do not support divorce. However, I strongly believe that it is important to take care of "YOURSELF" and if threw prayer/fasting ect ect is what needs to happen then I'm supportive to you. Take Care of Yourself! Gala

Gala, Thanks. You understand the situation from both sides. I have been restless this past week and I have not been able to concentrate on my work because of these issues. I took some personal time today to think about things. My complaints are valid, but I can only take care of what I have control over. That is all I can do. My OCD causes me to ruminate over these things and it drives me crazy. You are right, I should take care of myself and not give up. I am struggling to give it over to the Lord. I appreciate the atonement in that he understand all pain. BTW I wouldn't mind if your hubby were to contact me. Thanks for your concern and assistance. I hope that you are doing fine and that your health improves. -Jonathan

Jonathan, I was abandoned by husband. He left me and our two children for a woman he had met on the internet four days before. I just had to cop with all that was going on. There wasn't anyone there to take care of the family, I had to, "pull myself up by the boot straps," as my mom kept telling me. Hope everything goes will for yourself and family. Sue