Becoming too sensitive about weight loss?

Are any of you feeling really sensitive about your weight loss?  I have never been good at taking a compliment, but I am really beginning to feel like my weight loss is the center of every conversation starting the second I walk in the door.  I know this sounds ungrateful.  I am extremely grateful for the surgery and my weight loss, it just feels really awkward right now.  I feel like I am just known as the "girl who had weight loss surgery".  I purposely did not tell many people about the surgery, but of course news spreads really fast. I even had a semi-argument with my husband last night for constantly calling me "skinny", for which I am FAR from.  I know he is very proud of me and enjoying the benefits, but it occupying almost every conversation we have.  I think I would be happy with just a "you look really nice in that outfit, etc".  He is probably just "darned if he do, darned if he don't " right now. 

Thanks for listening!

I didnt tell anyone around here about the surgery. My family in California knows and hubby and thats it (oh ya the ladies here on OH that live in Jville know LOL) I dont have friends I hang out with here and I work at home so i am not exposed to anyone except the lady who does my hair and she has seen me before surgery and she sees me now but has never said a word about my weight.. which is hard to believe since Im almost 50lbs down but owell You are doing FANTASTIC on your journey, I think you should look at it this way... better to be known as the girl who HAD the weight loss surgery instead of the girl who NEEDS the weight loss surgery. As far as your hubby mine is doing the same thing, calls me skinny butt, always grabbing at me ect ect HE IS PROUD OF YOU sweetie, you say it occupies every conversation... think back to before you had your surgery... I know I talked my hubbys ears OFF about the surgery.. every single conversation hold your head up high girlfriend your doing great!!

Darcie

better to be known as the girl who HAD the weight loss surgery instead of the girl who NEEDS the weight loss surgery.  Yeah.. that is a SUPER way to look at this!   I go through days when I feel that my surgery is the ONLY topic of conversation. It does grate on your nerves.  I have had people call me things like sexy, pretty, thin and beautiful.  I am so not accustomed to those types of compliments.  I am used to things like "You would be so pretty if you lost weight" and "You have a beautiful face".  We are emotionally scarred by the excess physical weight we carried around for so many years.  It is hard to take a compliment and hard to think that we actually look good.  I have said I am going to break every mirror in my house and buy new ones.  Those old ones keep showing the "fatter" Jennifer and I don't want to see her anymore!!   Hold your head up high.  I promise that the conversations will cease and once the "newness" of your slimmer figure wears off you will not be at the forefront of conversation any more.  :)  

Thanks Darcie for the sweet words.   This probably stems from years of insecurity (because of the weight).  With all the MANY emotions this journey presents, I am sure - this too shall pass.

Yes.  I will be 2 years post op in Feb and I hate the attention.  I always blew people off and for a while when I worked in Charlotte it drove me nutz.  People would say stuff like you look too thin eat a pork chop bisquit.  I eat enough for a gastric bypass patient.  One day I was stress eating and had some milk duds and a coworker asked me why I was eating them.  I was ticked.  I told her to mind her own business. I find that being down 100lbs has it's draw backs.  I'm freezing all the time.  Plus I have to keep the collar bones warm.  I couldn't keep my weight loss surgery a secret when I worked and lived in Charlotte because I was fat then 3 weeks later I returned and was thinner.  I tend to hide my body.  I told them that I was still fat and they need to mind their own business. I will never go back to being fat, but these same women would never tell a fat person to step away from the buffet they shouldn't tell me to eat more because i'm too skinny.  It does drive me nutz. I live in Jacksonville NC now and I don't tell anyone around me about my weight or weight loss.  I just let them think I have always weighed 148lbs.  I keep my weight to myself.  My husband always brags though.

Hi Elizabeth. Funny you should bring this up.  I also suffer from not knowing how to respond to compliments, as I am sure many of us do.  I figure it's all part of the process we are going through as we learn to live a new way.  This morning, at work, however, a group of us went to the cafeteria at break and I walked past some coworkers who said hello and then someone said "She doesn't have a butt any more!"  And I was so tickled and felt so giddy I started shaking my butt and grabbing at the seat of my pants, singing "I don't have a butt any more!!!!"  Some days are better than others...lol

I was so tickled and felt so giddy I started shaking my butt and grabbing at the seat of my pants, singing "I don't have a butt any more!!!!"   LOL... Gurl, after meeting you, when I read this it is EXACTLY what I would envisioned you doing.   ROFLMAO  Sounds like something I would do too.

You are not alone - clearly with the above posts. But I too am going through the same thing. My husband has always told me (pre-surgery and post) how beautiful I am to him, how sexy I am to him, every single day - several times a day.  I shouldn't be so ungrateful but sometimes it is annoying and now he has taken to calling me Skinny HotMomma.. it makes me cringe. And even at work it's constantly .. O M G - Look at you! So I can appreciate how you feel.  I don't take compliments well at all.

Thanks everyone! This is probably something only you guys can understand! My good friend is trying to teach me to just say "thank you" every time I get a compliment.  I tend to give too much information, ie:oh, I just bought this at Wal Mart, etc..... I just wish that people understood that I am the same person, just in a healthier body. Thanks again for listening!

I'm so on the other side of the fence on this topic...  Question... am I the only unmarried one here?   I ask, because I wonder if it's because I've had to rely on myself to tell me how "good" I am when I look in the mirror... well, with exception of my sis and immediate little family.  I don't have a spouse/SO in the house paying me compliments like your hubbys... so it's a choice I make to be nice to myself instead of beat myself up when I look in a mirror. Of course many years ago, when I realized how co-Dependant I was and let the last man crush my heart for the LAST TIME and took myself to the best therapy ever, that doctor woman pounded self worth into me so much (and how life CAN be lived w/out a man) so that I went WAY to the other extreme and don't give a damn if I EVER have another man in my life... but although I've always felt pretty good about myself, fat and all, I still continued to give myself kudos. And the way I look at that whole "man" situation is that the LUCKY MAN just hasn't found me yet!  I do think that counseling can be such a VITAL part of this surgery, both pre and post op... to help with issues just like this one.  Please understand I'm not sitting in judgment of anybody.  But because my sis is a counselor, and because I took MANY psyc classes during my education degree process at ECU... and because I have experienced first hand the huge benefit of GOOD counseling (and not all counseling is "good"), I strongly believe that for many, it should be part of the process, particularly post-surgery.   As seen on these very forums, there are many, many issues facing us once we change physically, emotionally and in every other way.  We all have this "vision" of how wonderful life is going to be if we could just lose that darn weight and be "skinny."  I ain't never been skinny, never will be and don't aspire to be "skinny." LOL  But then, as the weight starts to go, it "uncovers" all these other issues.   There is nothing wrong or bad about counseling, and personally, I believe that not only is it a courageous thing to do, but just as important to our overall health and well being as it is to eat the right foods and physical exercise.  It's one of the top 3 BEST things I ever did for myself, if not #1 in all my almost 50 years on this planet.  It's exercise for the soul and the brain in my book and as cleansing as Milk of Mag.   As for me, I told EVERYBODY I was having surgery, and for those just seeing me now I didn't talk to before, I tell them now... and usually show them my "war wounds" on my belly.  I wanted everybody I know to be praying for me during my surgery and recovery. The way I figured it, the more prayers the better.  It was going to be pretty obvious pretty soon anyway... and I didn't want to be a Star Jones about what I had done.  I can surely understand those of you who went in the other direction and find no fault in that.  It's just what we each personally feel comfortable with.  If I'm known as "the girl who had weight loss surgery," so?  Because, you see, those very folks who you see judging YOU have their own "skeletons" and the only reason they are probably making snide comments about YOU is because they have insecurities about their own selves.   And for those of you irritated at your spouses for their compliments... I GASP! Be HAPPY you have a loving spouse who pays you compliments and tells you that you are skinny or beautiful or whatever.  At least you have someone beside you who cares about you.  How many women are home alone because their spouses left them because they were FAT for a "skinny" woman?  Thank your husbands for being proud of you, and for staying by your side through THICK and thin.  You could be going through this alone.  I may be wrong, but if you beat them down too much for doing what they think is right and loving, you may find yourself home alone, leaving you to be uplifting yourself! I went out to lunch today with an old gal pal.  She was SO complimentary... over and over for 2 hours telling me how good I look.  I just kept saying "thank you" and "I feel good too."  Others came in the restaurant and came over and said the same thing.  I just kept repeating, "Thanks, I feel really good too." OK, I"ll get off my soap box now.... after sharing these things:  I found this online that might be some food for thought and helpful... HOW TO ACCEPT A COMPLIMENT: 1.  Say thank you. Thank you or "thank you very much" are simple, timeless classics that should be easy enough to utter even if the compliment caught you off guard. If that's all you can think to say, leave it at that. You should also smile. Try to compliment him/the person back!

2.  Smile. You've earned it, so enjoy your moment in the spotlight. Besides, it says a lot without your having to find the words, and you'll look gracious during your moment in the limelight.

3. Return the favor. Say something nice about the person who gave you a compliment.  (Give those spouses or co-workers a compliment in return!  When was the last time you did that?)  If the compliment makes you uncomfortable, this quickly takes the focus off you and onto them.

4.  Don't argue. Just because you know your accomplishment wasn't really all that hard or the compliment didn't really fit doesn't mean you have to protest or object to the compliment. If you're uncomfortable with the compliment for some reason, smile, say thanks, and let it go.

5.  Accept the compliment graciously and move on. Keep it brief. Don't try to fill a loss for words with a lot of extra words that don't belong.  6.  Resist the urge to denigrate yourself. You are not immodest by accepting a compliment. Putting yourself down isn't necessary.  7.  Respond honestly to a compliment. You can tell the person giving you the compliment a little bit about your success. It shows that you acknowledge the compliment and are thankful your hard work was noticed.  By making lite of the compliment, it shows that you are either not comfortable accepting compliments or do not really care about the opinion of the person complimenting you (which then creates negative thoughts about you and no further compliments).  Ladies... don't you realize how blessed you are with those loving hubbies??? Just practice saying "Thank you" or "Thanks honey, I really appreciate how much you love me."  Or when he calls you a sexy hotmamma, take it and RUN with it... before some other woman does!! PEP TALK OVER NOW...