Input needed OT
When we met Janie mothers nurse to show her how to get to the hospital we had a chance to talk some.
Janie told me that my mother drinks alot at night but I knew this.
When she gets drunk she calls Janie names like stupid.
I am ready to raise hell but I have to protect Janie too because she cant loose this job and is willing to just take the verbal abuse.
being SMo for years I had to take verbal abuse and is so degrading.
My heart went out to Janie when she told me what mother was doing.
If I confront mother Janie could loose her job and I dont want that.
I am horrified tht my mom is doing this to this very sweet lady who cares for her.
So I am asking what advice do you all have on how to handle this.
Annie
Annie:
If you mom is so dependent on others for care...how is she getting her wine, beer or liquor? I would ask Janie on the side to please call u when mom has been drinking and you can make a surprise visit to your mom without her knowing Janie called you. Does your mom realize that if she gets rid of her help by this abuse.....she can't live at home and will require nursing home care?
Good luck my friend, love ya,
Pam
((((Annie)))),
This is so hard, I know. I think that Pam's advise is on point. You need to have Janie let you know when and how your mother is getting her liquor. Eventually, you are going to need to confront your mother about her autonomy and what she needs to do to maintain it. You may be able to do this without compromising Janie's confidence because you already 'knew' that she'd been drinking. I think that you will need to let her know that you want her to remain autonomous for her sake, but that her use/abuse of alcohol is putting that autonomy in danger. I know that you tried addressing this with her Dr without much luck. Is it possible to raise your concerns directly with her Dr. and then have another appointment/meeting involving him after soliciting support?
Barb
Barbara
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Thanks for the sugesstions.
We have had family intervention/meetings with the doctor and attorney.
Just like wls you have to want it for it to work.
Mother has been to a rehab center in CT twice, years ago.
She is and remains in denial about her drinking.
I found out last night she has a partial collapsed lung.
Annie
