fear of "head problems" undoing WLS

Hi everyone, and thanks for welcoming me to the forum.  I am continuing my research on RNY, but I wonder how I will EVER overcome the drive to eat when I am: stressed, unhappy, worried, etc.   I drive straight to the nearest ice cream place whenever I am under a lot of stress.  Now surgery can't stop that! 

Will I get the "dumping syndrome" if I try to eat a pint of ice cream (like I did yesterday)?  I have to say, I hope so.  I need something to stop me.

I have an appointment with a psychologist to see if she can help me, but I'm skeptical about both the Dr. and the RNY.  I want help but I'm afraid I can "outeat" any help I might get.

Were most of you compulsive overeaters?  How do you cope with not be able to overeat? Thank you for any help you may have to offer.

I was not a compulsive eater, so I can't give you any suggestions or experience on that.

But I do recommend that you plan lots of followup with a good psych after surgery to help you mentally adjust to your new state of being.  I really think it would benefit you, especially since you own your own problems rather than hide them under a rug or dismiss them as someone else's fault (btw, that's a kudos to you for, you know, being a mature adult).

Hi, my name is Ellen and I am a compulsive eater.  That didn't change after surgery, just like alcholholics don't stop being alchoholics.  It is key to remember that this is a lifelong battle to remain healthy.  The difference for me now is I have the tool in place to allow me to get a handle on my behavior.  Seeing a psychologist before and after is absolutely necessary to truly deal with this.  The old adage is true:  It's not what you're eating, it's what's eating you.  A psychologist can help you learn what your triggers are and what you can do to break the cycle of compulsive over-eating.

Yes it is possible to "outeat" this surgery, we've all heard stories about people that gain their weight back.  However, knowing your problems and dealing with them like the responsible adult (As Andrea said) you are puts you that much closer to regaining your health and maintaining it over the long term.  You are strong, and as the weight comes off you will truly see how strong you are.  You can do this!

Take care.
Ellen

Hi Nancy, I ate when I was stressed, bored, sad, happy, relaxed or awake!  I very seldom only ate when I was hungry.  I was a "grazer", I overate at meals.  I LOVED food!!  I still love food!  Now I APPRECIATE food, too.  I ACTUALLY taste it!   But my tastes have changed dramatically.  Plus, I can STILL eat if I am stressed, bored, sad, happy relaxed or awake.  I just can't OVEREAT in those cir****tances.  There are still MANY things that will "go down" that I shouldn't be eating.  That is where the new mind-set comes in.  If your head isn't in it, it won't matter if your heart is.

BTW, I had the lap band, not RNY.  That was the right choice for me!

I'm going to agree with Andrea and Ellen on what they've said so far and add that you're going into this with your eyes wide open. Acknowledging your eating behaviors is a huge step - in the right direction. Now finding new coping strategies is in order. Finding a good psychologist or other doctor can be very helpful post-op as well as finding a "great" support system like we have here. Talk this over with your doctor as he or she can point you in the right direction.

Good Luck and Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Iris

Instead of being fearful and keeping around thoughts of self sabotage you need to decide for yourself that you WILL put 110% of yourself into changing your habits and develop a better relationship with food so you no longer abuse it. As the saying goes - once and addict always an addict - you have to keep in mind that even with surgery its still a life long struggle/battle - you will always have to keep working on yourself and your issues - as time passes you will find certian things get easier.. as you give yourself more knowledge, more tools, more options you will have other things to reach for besides food.
Honestly I wouldnt worry about 'what if I get dumping from a pint of ice cream', the real issue is working on not reaching for that pint of ice cream in the first place. You have to learn to eat to live and not live to eat.
I was an emotional eater... how do I cope? I spent over a year in therapy pre-op, I read many books, educated myself, did exercises, got an amazing support system etc... I took time to learn about how I was using food and when I was using it and had to learn other ways of coping besides it. It takes work and it takes time, I still struggle now and then but after surgery it was MUCH easier because I wasnt constantly hungry all the time - I now have a tool that allows me to have self control, food no longer rules me.

Hi Nancy,

I have to say that I think you've gotten some great advice from the other reponses you have received. I think that recognizing that you have triggers is a huge step in the right direction. For me, getting a handle on this is a process and it is taking time and work. Like Ellen and Jennifer, I sought counseling before and after WLS because as we all know the WLS is a tool that can help you strip off the excess weight and even help you to maintain the loss, but it's not magic by any stretch of the imagination. I also found a program called the "Beck Diet Solution" that was developed by Dr. Judith Beck. It's not a diet, but a rather a six week behavior modification program that helps you learn to 'think thin' while you identify and learn to manage triggers, self-sabotaging behavior, etc... I've had it for over 6 months and I'm still working on it and have found it to be very helpful. It's been a great tool that I have used and still use on occasion as I meet with my own counselor.

Like you, I wondered if I should risk surgery when I just might well undo everything I did because I couldn't control my behavior because to be honest, it was my behavior that significantly contributed to the state I was in that caused me to even consider WLS. I also wondered if I do 'okay' if I didn't have dumping to curb my behavior. If you read my profile, you'll see that I had some minor 'dumping' early on, but nothing serious and now I can truly eat anything. That's both wonderful and scary. I also want to tell you that I have made enormous changes in how I relate to and use food. It's not perfect, I still find myself starting to do things that aren't in my best interest, but I usually make good choices now; choices I couldln't seem to make before. Maybe, in part, that is due to gaining so much as I have lost so much. I mean that I have reclaimed my health and quality of life to a greater extent than I had even imagined ... when I was morbidly obese, I thought I was aware of the negative impact it had on my life, but it wasn't until the weight was lifted from me that I truly became aware of how significant the negative impact on my life had been ... There is a saying that 'nothing tastes as good as thin feels'... I thought I knew what that meant, but I didn't, because it's not about how 'thin' feels, but how 'fit' feels and when you haven't been fit in a very long time, it's hard to truly know what you are missing.

As I was in the process of 'stripping off' all of that excess weight I was carrying, I was working hard to 'retool' my frame of reference re: foods. Like you, I'm all too aware of my achilies heal and was (and still am to some extent) concerned about reverting to old, negative, damaging behaviors. Don't get me wrong, I still make mistakes, but one of the things I learned from my "Beck Diet Solution" program is that it's okay to make a mistake; you just need to recognize it, acknowledge it, and then get up and move on, working to 'get it right.' Before, I was too quick to throw up my hands in frustation and disgust; now, I realize that I made a mistake and that it wasn't going to get me where I want to be and I just chalk it up to experience as I work to make better choices in the future.

I have to tell you that this is the best thing I've ever done for myself and I'd do it again in a heartbeat because it has enabled me to gain a level of control over my life that I have never experienced before.

Wishing you success in your journey to a healthier you,

Barb

I was not a stress eater.... I just loved food and never got full. I have enough bad eating habits to fight against so I am very glad that is not on my list.   All of the above advice given sounds like sound advice to me. Your small pouch will keep you in check for a while .  One bite to many is no fun. I stay clear of sugar and fat and as far as I know I have never dumped. I don't like how that experience sounds so I try to follow the guidelines on what to eat. I guess I was an overeater but not due to stress. I have no desire to over eat now, pouchy does not allow it. But I enjoy what I do eat. If I don't like it ....it does not enter my mouth.  Good Luck you will do fine ...we all have similar fears.
Myrtis

Dear North Carolina friends,

Thank you all for taking the time to reply to my post.  It is a relief to me that others have had the same worries but have been successful in their weight loss.

Today I called the surgery office in Hickory and gave them my information to get the ball rolling.  I also have an appt. with a psychologist later this month.  I have BCBS which covers the surgery as long as I'm "approved."

I also realized how terribly FAST I'm eating.  I've been wolfing food down, barely chewing or tasting it.  So I'm trying to be much more careful, laying my fork down and chewing each bite carefully.  Tonight I couldn't eat a whole dinner because, I think, I ate slower and "got the message" that I was full before I had eaten everything on my plate.

Yesterday I had a friend take pictures of me in my undies--front, side, and rear.  ouch.  ouch.  ouch.  Who have I been kidding?  I look awful. I keep reading everyone's stories and looking at their pictures and maybe it will sink in that I, too, can regain my health and look better.

Thanks for caring,

Nancy

Those pictures are hard to endure, I know.  I spent a great deal of time avoiding the camera over the years.  That being said, I am eternally grateful for the pictures I do have of my SMO years.  I have, even at just over a year out, forgotten how I looked fat.  I remember how it felt, I hope I always do, but I have forgotten how I looked.  I treasure those pictures because they are a reminder of how far I've come.  I wouldn't be who I am today without those years, and I like who I am now.  Here's one of me at my highest, just a face shot, but you get the general idea. 

http://www.obesityhelp.com/photos/uzone,photos/action,gallery/albumId,11224/curPhoto,108301/

Good luck in your journey.  We cannot wait to cheer you on as you move through the process.
Take care.
Ellen