Need some advice

My impending marriage is not taking place. I have thought long and hard about this and my heart is not longer with him. I have been with him so long what was once there has fizzled and died. and it just seemed the right thing to do but with my heart it won't let me do this.  So on to this question: If your dating someone should you tell them you have had this surgery? I am not sure if I should because I don't want to chase this person away. Please help.  and thanks

Hi Charlene, Sorry, but if you feel like your relationship is not working, good you found out before the nuptials and putting yourself and him through unnessary heartache! Just my opinion, but take time out before getting involved too seriously with anyone else.  Especially if you are newly single within WLS, I think from things I've heard and read, it takes time for us to be comfortable with our new body and so if you rush headlong into another relationship, it might not be a good idea, as I said, my opinion, file it away, or tra**** if you like . As for telling people, whether they are someone you are dating or just anyone who doesn't know you, I would say that you have to go with your gut feelings on that one, I personally am excited about the prospect and tell everyone I'm having it, but I could also see the other side, which is some people, especially people who've never had weight issues, simply don't get it and think of us as weak and, of course, nowadays, seems everyone knows someone who has had it, and then they watch every bite that we eat, thinking, is this person going to get obese again, so again I say, take it to that little voice within and learn to trust what your instincts tell you. Good luck!

hi charlene is that what the black dress is for?????? only kidding :)  good for you for making such a hard decision :)  my g/f had to date after surgery and she told the men -- since most of her dates are 'out to eat and drink" she felt like she had to say something  but it is a personal choice and it depends on the date and if there is a 2nd or 3rd date :) good luck to you :)  hugs roberta btw -- i tell the world!!! i'm proud of who i am :)