Hi - I'm new and stuff...

I have spent no less than 4 hours on this website today. Your stories are heart-warming, inspirational and terrifying. I have a million annoying questions (aren't newbies a pain?!?!) and am doing my best to search around on the site to find the answers so I don't just dump a load on here. LisaMarie - I'm in NYC as well and your testimonial about the doctor and hospital that you went to was great. I am putting your doctor on my list to call! If you have a GP that you'd like to suggest, I'm all ears. My current GP is a bit of a dip - she recently prescribed a lethal mix of cholesterol prescriptions for me, it wasn't the first time that a pharmacist had saved me from my GP's stupidity. Backstory: I am 35, I currently weigh about 248, and am a little over 5foot 6 inches. I wear a size 20/22. I was always a little overweight but have been substantially overweight for 6-7 years now. It needs to stop. Couple of questions for anyone and everyone... How did you handle getting such a lengthy period of time off from work? I manage several millions of dollars for various estates, when I want to take more than 3 days off at a time my work freaks. Suggestions? I have brought up the topic of having WLS with my fiance a few times. He completely freaked out each time. He is terrified of it beyond words. I need to take care of my own concerns/worries but am afraid that I may end up babysitting him. I can/will dig my heels in (I do "stubborn" well) when I need to. Any thoughts on DEMANDING the support you need? I am a very private person by nature - anyone else on here like that? How did you handle the queries from family, friends, co-workers? I guess that's it for now. Thanks again to everyone!!!

Hi. Good luck with your pre op visits. Here are your questions: How did you handle getting such a lengthy period of time off from work? I manage several millions of dollars for various estates, when I want to take more than 3 days off at a time my work freaks. Suggestions? I had my surgery on August 10, and was back at work by August 31st. I could have gone back sooner, but was on summer vacation. Additionally, I was able to drive from NYC to MA about 1.5 weeks after surgery. Having said that, everyone recovers differently. While in MA, I could not walk on some of the college tours with my son.......too many hills, etc., but otherwise was fine. It all depends on what type of job you have. IF you are at a desk, it will prob. be easier to go back sooner. Can you do any of your work from home? That might help. I have brought up the topic of having WLS with my fiance a few times. He completely freaked out each time. He is terrified of it beyond words. I need to take care of my own concerns/worries but am afraid that I may end up babysitting him. I can/will dig my heels in (I do "stubborn" well) when I need to. Any thoughts on DEMANDING the support you need? My husband did not want me to have this surgery. I think part of that is fear of the unknown. Before researching, people seem to hear only the bad about this surgery......stories that are featured on the news or talk shows often focus on the negative. My suggestion would be to have him spend some time reading profiles on this site with you, and seeing how this surgery has positively changed many lives. I am a very private person by nature - anyone else on here like that? How did you handle the queries from family, friends, co-workers? I did not tell my co workers that I had this surgery. I just take the compliments and say thank you. My family...........I did not tell till after because I did not want to listen to all the different opinions everyone had. Good luck. There is a chat tonight here in the NY room at 8 pm. Try to come. Many regulars show up, like LisaMarie, Friendly, myself, sometimes Deb, MaryJO, and many others. You can get to chat easily.........look at the left side of the board and you will see a link to chat room. Hope to see you. S

Thanks so much for the reply - your comments are very helpful! I do have a desk job, so I was hopeful that I wouldn't be truly bed-ridden or stuck at home for 6 weeks (I'd go stir crazy! LOL). One more question...what is the 6-month thing that everyone talks about it? Do the doctors make you wait 6-months before scheduling/determining if you are a candidtate for WLS? Yes, of course I want to be as safe as possible, but the other part of me just wants it "done and over". Patience is not something I'm good with LOL. I have post-poned my wedding 2 years in a row because I couldn't battle the fat and win.

Jean, Welcome to the NY board hun ~hugs~ I handled my time off from work by taking my 2 weeks vacation and 1 week sick time, back 1/2 days for the 3rd week and they paid me for those since I am salary! All you can do is be honest with them and try to talk to them about it. My hubby as scared at first but i really gave him all the info he needed and we talked about it all the time, he was scared but knew this was something that was very important to me so he was ok with it. Talk, talk , talk about it with him is all you can do, let him ask questions and reseach the answers together..... I have to say I told everyone that wanted to listen about this, sure there are some that are not positive but the hell with them, i do not live or care what they think!!! I wish you all the best hun and please keep us posted! ~Hugs~ Debra P

Welcome Jean, I am eleven days post op and am returning to work on Monday, although I did go back PT one week from the date, I'm in HR so I am not doing anything physicially demanding. Also I have not had ANY complications in fact I forget that I only had this surgery not even two weeks ago, but every one is different. Remember your health is the most important thing in the world even more than your job, the job will be there when you are ready to get back if you pu**** your health may not be. I also did not tell my co-workers only my immediate boss who was very supportive as a close family member of hers had the procedure over the summer, no one needs to know, take the copliments with a smug grin, you are doing the work to lose the weight and deserve to grin. I also only let my husband and brother know. I did not want the negative attitude from my sister, I didn't tell my freinds either, I am very private and want this to stay private as well, being I was only in the hospital for two days people didn't even realize I was away. I usually only see and speak with my friends and sister on the weekends so that went smoothly. My husband was very nervous and upset at first that this was the route I wanted to take, until he met with my doctor and read all of the literature I provided for him, the day of the surgery he was still nervous for me, but he would have been nervous for me if I was having a tooth pulled, just keep your fiance up to date and educate him. Good luck to you, this is the best decision I have ever made, like I said I am not even two weeks out and have lost 14 pounds, I already have more energy and a better attitude towards myself and life.

Of course most people on here have had a favorable response to WLS. I was wondering if anyone knew of a site that had updated statistics based on the various types of WLS? I keep seeing that 1 in 200 is fatal but I don't know if that's accurate and/or up to date. Those odds are a bit too scary for me! Thanks again!!! You are all a great inspiration!

Hi Jean, I am almost 2 weeks post op. I researched WLS in earnest, to be more accurate ,for about 6-7 months. Do a google search on gastric bypass surgery or weight loss surgery. There are a lot of reputable sites out there. I read about 8 books on the subject, all of which you can find on different web sites on the net. One positive thing about talking to folks about the prospect of WLS is that everybody seems to know somebody who's had it. I spoke to dozens of WLS post ops and interviewed them to bits about their experiences, their successes and their complications. It was VERY informative. Good luck on your quest. If you feel educated about the subject yourself, you might be in a better position to guide your fiancee through this process with you. Take it easy, Amy

Hi Jean, Good luck with your search - only you can made the final decisions about your health. I am scheduled for RNY on May 24th. I am a little nervous about it, but mostly I am excited. I researched quite a bit about the risks of the procedure for several months and finally decided it was right for me. Yes, the statistics are 1 in 200 die, and there can be complications. Its important that you know the risks. One big way to reduce the risks is to find a great doctor and hospital. I am confident in my surgeon and confident in my own health to feel secure about the surgery. I am lucky in that my family is very supportive of my decision, as are my bosses and co-workers. Good luck to you - whatever you decide. Stay healthy and happy! Ida

Jean, Welcome I hope you find all the friends you could possible ever need here (I Did!!!) . I was luckey with the family and hubby . The work was hard. I am a private duty nurse and the boss of the case . The wife needs me SO much and I am always on call and have been 24/7 for over 2 years . I first came up with the plan then told her and reassured her that I can be reached by phone after a few days . I set up another nurse and trained her well also a few aides . After explaining to her that the surgery was not cosmetic and deemed medically nessary by my insurance (as would be a kidney transplant!) , went thru my health issues that she never really knew about , and explained if I dont do it soon my life expectancy would be greatly lessened . She agreed . I guess the thought of me leaving forever due to disability scared her! My surgery date is June 5 . I started looking for Mds in febuary , met him on March 7 , quit smoking March 13 , Started all the appts April 10 , Finished them all May 8 , and ready to go for june 5 . So less than 2 months since i started this journey . I really started reading almost 2 years ago . My highest weight ( last month) was 301 . 2 weeks ago im down to 285 . My Md does not require me to lose before surgery just not gain . That was one of the requirements I looked for in a Md . Good luck . This jounry boils down to whats important to you . If I was with a man that didnt support me in being healthy and doing whats best for me I would not be with him .( first i would try to change him !!!) , The family.. When and if you make up your mind ...Plainly tell them your decision and that it is final. Explain to them how important this is to you and if they love you and want you to get healthy they could support your decison or keep there mouth shut. Its all up to whats important to you................Kitty