I need a Life Jacket I'm Sinking

For 2 weeks now I am back to old habits! The marriage stuff has me stuffing crap in my face and its spiriling out of control! Today I ate: B- Strawberry shake / 5 peppridge farm milano cookies L- Grilled chicken breast/ small beansoup D- 4 coconut shrimp/ 1 clam casino/ sm. NE clam chowder/ 1 med. stuffed (w/spinache) filet of sole and cream sauce, 1/2 baked potato 1 small pice of a roll 1 bowl of ice cream and its only 8:41 PM! I MUST STOP THIS CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KB

Hi Kenny! How do you feel physically when you eat? Do you foam or slime? It sounds like you may need a fill. How much do you have in your band? All that food shouldn't go down without giving you problems. If it does, get a fill! That might also kill the urge to emotionally eat too. It helps me. I am so sorry about what's going on at home. It's hard, I know. Gonna come to Fishkill? You could use the support. I'm gonna try to go! Kristine

No sliming at all! I just get caught up in the careless eatting and once I start I just forget about doing the right thing. The food helps take my mind off the real issues! KB

Ah, ok, so it's the eating through the band thing...I've heard that's possible. I think I am so tight, the thought of food turns me off sometimes. I bought Tilapia last week and didn't even get to try it. Your emotional eating sounds like my buffet trips. I'd go, get the same darn thing, boneless spare ribs, and fried rice, shovel it in my mouth,then I'd go get seconds with other stuff. Then dessert. I'd lose myself in that food, and it soothed so much. So I sat here and asked my hubby who is on the treadmill right now what is motivating him, so I could try give you advice. This is the 2nd time I've seen him lose weight, and yes we have marital problems as well. He's lost 43 pounds and also an emotional eater. He said the weight loss is the only thing in his life he has control of. Myself, I thought the surgery was going to "fix" the overall problems. I know that one of my depression stems is that let down that it didn't, and they're still there. It has helped in some ways that I get around better, but we didn't move ahead much, well yet. We have to keep chugging and I try to stay positive.

Ken - this is going to sound really bitc--y but I mean it with hugs only. Your marriage stuff has control of much of your life. Are YOU going to allow "it" to take one more thing from you - your food choices and all of your hard work to date? Re-visit why you had the lap-band, have all of those reasons suddenly changed?? Proably not, don't kill yourself for anyone else. Ann

Valid and truthful feedback, thanks! Kenny

I don't have any advice about the band (i'm a DS patient), but i know how marriage stuff is......and how stressful it can be. ...actually i don't think there is anything closer to being in hell on earth then living in a stressful marriage. Thats from personal experieince. I hope all works out for you ..scott

K: (((HUGS of SUPPORT))) The best I can say is knowing that WLS is a tool and that life is one darn problem after another, focus on getting through today's problem w/ the goal of not having to go through it again tomorrow to the best of your ability. If the band is not enough right now to manage your eating issues, perhaps look to obtain more tools??? A good therapist who specializes in WLS &/or eating disorders might be just what you need to support/help you find some more tools for yourself. I have to beleive that everything happens for a reason, even if we can not see the opportunity in the midst of difficulty it is usually there. Remember your resolve on the journey to health, remember why you wanted wt loss/health to be more important than anything else (esp. any short term gratification of a food item). I can not fully know/understand how you feel or what you are going through, I can however support you in finding a different path to coping with your issues/emotions. For me exercise has been a wonderful tool, as posting to support groups, in person groups, talking w/ a friend, listening to music, journaling (I know not your thing), meditation, relaxation/deep breathing, shopping (ya I am a woman!) just to get out around people even if I do not buy a thing! Listing 10 different safe coping tools, having it handy so during an impulsive moment you don't have to think, you can just do one of them, before you go back to the old standby of soothing yourself w/ food. We all do that, but we can choose a different way I beleive, look at progress not perfection. If you beleive you can you will! Take Care, Jamie Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh 320/163 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery) Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/profile.php?N=c1132518510 "Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"

As always Jamie great feedback! One problem is that I can no longer purchase my pre mixed protein drink, CarbSolutions Shoprite does not carry it any more! It helped me alot. I can't seem to find anything that fills me quite the same? KB

(((((((((((((KENNY)))))))))))))))) I think many of us are dealing with stress either with our others or jobs but when I find myself slipping into the old me I look at my old pictures and remeber that food didn't make me happier just made me bigger and numb I realize I don't want to be numb anymore I want to feel everything and I try to deal with my problems instead of drowning myself. Even if you do slip up catch yourself I find myself doing jumping jacks in front of the pantry and afterfelling silly I feel a little better and move on so don't dweel too much on the yesterdays and just try to make tomorrow better Vivienne