It's Amazing! --I have become VISIBLE!

Yes , That's right! --suddenly I have become visible! When I was a size twenty plus --I was INVISIBLE! No one held the door for me --no one said good morning, no one asked me if I needed help with anything! As big as I was --I was Invisible!:-l Now--SUDDENLY (MEN especially) say good morning , want to have conversations , want to help me lift or carry packages to my car--I am the very same person! I haven't suddenly become a helpless little waif , or a popular personality --but I feel sort of ODD--I don't know if I like it or not. I know that it is because I look better-- and dress better, and that is nice--but I also know that I was a good person when I was really overweight too! Why is it that people (both men and women), are so---visually oriented! Why do they feel that I am more worthy, now that I look more like the pictures in the magazines (don't get me wrong --I am no model type--but I do look better now). Is it me?? Do I radiate a more confident personality? Am I really that different?? I don't feel different--but people seem to have a totally different attitude toward me! It seems very shallow --yet I kind of enjoy the attention--Please Lord ! Don't let me become Shallow --Don't let me forget that people are Never invisible and that they should all be treated with love and kindness and attention! Well--that's my spiel for the day! Thank goodness that I can vent here--I always get intellegent responses --ones that make me think and feel better about situations--so thanks in advance! Be Blessed EVERYONE! MarianS.C. 242.4/159.4/goal 125-130???

M: YUP welcome to my world! Living it, feeling it, loving it, hating it all at the same time! It INFURIATES me the comments I get (inappropriate) from people. Sigh, I want to be liked/known for my brain and personality not because I am a (their words: Young, tall, thin, big busted beautiful blonde!). As a professional I can help people because of my knowledge NOT because I am eyecandy! Ya know geesh! I realize I am still Jamie, my shell is different but core is still the same. BUT I believe also that we are the same but different because of the responses/feedback we get verbal/non-verbal from the world we in turn respond/feel differently. So do I have more confiedence? Sure, more self esteem? Sure. is it fair, right, just? I guess I do my best to realize life isn't fair, accept that there is fat predjudice out there and do my best to not perpetuate it, and educate other's. I am worth much more than a pants size, number on the scale or how many cat calls or turned heads I get in a day. What matters is how I feel inside. WHO THE HECK CARES what other's think is my new mantra. I am out to be me, if people accept it great if not that is their issue! As for that article on size 10 being plus who cares what that author thinks? You can choose to believe it and let it define you or choose to define yourself! This is what we can control our response to the world...That is their OPINION and everyone has one! Good bad ugly right or wrong! They are just that words....they can not control us our thoughts or emotions unless we allow it! It does take some time to let it all sink in a few years I believe! IT IS A WILD JOURNEY AT TIMES! What an adventure though! HUGS! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Take Care, Jamie Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh 320/163 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery) Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/profile.php?N=c1132518510 "Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"

Yes Jamie, I agree wholeheartedly--My mind is made --I will try not to perpetuate the negative feelings --I will do my best to treat others with respect and loving kindness --no matter how they look on the outside--I am going to remember how I felt before my surgery--to be as empathetic as possible toward those who have not been through this experience. I just wish that we were not judged by our shells. Often people don't even take the time to see us for who we really are. I am older than most who have the surgery so I guess that I have experienced a bit more than some--but the experience is the same for all of us. The comments , the attention etc., --the difficult part is to keep it in perspective! To keep ones self real! That is my goal--no matter what! The journey is indeed a wild ride! I just have to remember to keep my equilibrium and my balance! Be Blessed, Marian S.C. 242.4/159.4/goal 125-130???